Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow....NO!!!

I like the looks of snow. 

I like a good Christmas card with a snow scene on it.

I like watching flakes of snow drifting slowly from the sky and lighting gently on the grass, the trees, the deck, the sidewalk.

And that's about it.

After that I just do not like snow.

I don't like to drive in it.

I don't like the slush when it melts.

I don't like how dirty it is once it is plowed and cars and trucks drive through it.

I don't like the wet mess all over the rugs inside the doors and the mess under the wet boots drying on the mats.

I do like winter clothes.  Sweaters.  Vests.  Long pants.  Boots. Heavy socks.  Down coats.  Gloves. Hats. Scarves.

I like those, and I like to wear those.

But driving in snow?  Horrible experiences. 

Walking through snow to get to the barn to do the chores?  It took forever, and I felt frozen.

This morning when the alarm went off at 6, there was an alert on my phone that snow was beginning at 5:35.

It did.

Fortunately the snow was light and covered the ground somewhat, but that was all

When I left the fitness center, there was a need for my wipers to be on the lowest speed to clear off the wet droplets that were accumulating.  I can handle that.

And now the snow has stopped.  Good deal.

More snow is forecast for next week.  Just remember the title of this post....Let It Snow...Let It Snow....Let It Snow...NO NO NO NO NO

Just What I Needed--A Great Day!

I had a great day!

First a mani with Tina!    My nails look and feel great!

Then I drove to Kokomo (through the country - new territory to explore) and met Rhonda and Phylliss for lunch at Chili's.  We hadn't met for lunch for a couple of years, and I have missed them.  That was fun.

Next we went to the old DuPont building at the main Ivy Tech campus for a reception for Jan's retirement.  Jan had sent me a note earlier in the week to invite me to this event.  She was the campus dean at Logansport when I started there, and she became a good friend through my 10 years at the college.  It was fun to see so many familiar faces!  Most of the people I visited with had also retired, so it was good to congratulate each other on the good decision we had made to leave the college.  Also in attendance were many who were still working at the college as well as a few who had left the college but returned for this special occasion.

It was also good to visit with Jan's husband Darrell.  They own a catering business and had catered Matt and Megan's wedding reception at the Canal in Delphi.  Their business is actually located in Pyrmont which is where Blaine and Hilary live.

Also Jan and Darrell live on Prince William Road south of Delphi so our new house isn't too far away from them.  Jan said she was excited that we can meet for breakfast or lunch or other fun activities now that she will be retired!

When I drove home, I took a different through-the-country route so I saw more of the area! 

It was just a good day.  I really enjoyed it!  I even say Ethan and he initiated conversation with me.  As Gary said, he can be friendly to me once again, now that I am not competition for any of the positions he was striving for!  Ha Ha!

Not a Used Food Persom, I Guess

I am borrowing a term from the husband of one of my good friends from DWLZ, "used food."

Some may call this 'leftovers,' but I like the term 'used food' much better.

Whatever you might want to call it, I have grown to not like it.

Now granted....in the life of a working mother, making a large portion of any dish on any given evening or on the weekend is a necessity for  1.) packing lunches for the next few days and/or 2.) not having to cook another meal for a day or two which is helpful when practices or games or after-school meetings and tired teaching days happen.

But now?  Not so much.

Even though we have been 'empty nesters' since 2003, I still cook too much.  Case in point this week has been the classic favorite -  smoked sausage, potatoes, onions, and sauerkraut in the crockpot. 

Yum.

Well, it was Yum yesterday.
 Not so much today.

When we were shopping on Monday, the 10# bag of potatoes was cheaper than buying a bag of 5#.  I heard the thifty shopper in me say to Gary "Why should we pay more for fewer potatoes?  We can use them!  We can add more to the crockpot and have plenty of potatoes for leftovers!"  Who said that?  Me?

And today I was faced with the white bowl in the fridge.  Full.  Leftover sausage, onions, sauerkraut and beaucoup potatoes.  Lots of them.

Gary said he had enjoyed his portion of that tasty meal for lunch today while Owen and I were sharing raspberries, strawberries, and blueberries.  He had a bag of blueberry mini-muffins and I devoured the last raspberry paczki. 

For dinner he planned to eat a chili dog (I do NOT like those; he does) and he assumed I would enjoy more sausage, sauerkraut, onions, and potatoes.  Lots of potatoes.

It was then I had to admit what I had never voiced before.   I don't enjoy leftovers.

He was stunned.

Why?  he asked.  My response was this:  I have a yearning for a dish r a taste or a certain food or meal.  I make it.  We eat it.  I am done.  The craving has been quenched.  I don't need to eat it again.

Now he was surprised.  But he really shouldn't have been.  In the last year or so we have been emptying the refrigerator of food that needs to go into the trash and often I will say 'Oh we still have some of that?  I guess I forgot about it."  Plus today when we were driving home after Owen's speech therapy appointment, we were discussing dinner options.  I mentioned that I had trouble eating the same thing, two meals in one day.

That should have been a clue.  He didn't pick up on it.

I enjoyed a big bowl (Alewine pottery soup bowl, no less!) of the concoction on Tuesday evening.  I am done.

What to do?  What to do? 

The rest of the mass of the meal is still in the white bowl in the fridge.  There is enough for both of us to enjoy it again sometime in the next day or two.   Will it happen?  Or will it be pushed to the back of the fridge, only to be found in a week or so, and I will say "Oh that!  I forgot about it.  Better get rid of it now." and into the trash it will go.

It's kind of like being hungry for a Big Mac.  Once you order one and eat it, you realize halfway through the mess that you will not be ordering one again for a long long time.

Used food.  Leftovers.  Funny how the connotation of those words change over time, isn't it?

Long Range Effects

It was no secret that the holidays were stressful for me.  Not sure why, but they were.  Memories?  Tired?  Just not into them for some reason?  Too much happening?  Worried about the cataract surgery?  Not being able to see?

Not sure what the reason(s) was (were), but I didn't like it.

I remember a few years ago that someone asked me about Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years Eve and I had replied that we had the BEST time with all of them that year.  Everything was fun, relaxed, family oriented, and enjoyable.

Not so much this year, and I know it was all me.   I just didn't want to do anything, be in charge of anything, or go anywhere, and it was affecting me---big time.

Now NYEve in Gatlinburg drew me back into my old self again.  Kinda.  Not totally.  But more than I had been.   That was good.

But the trip to Florida the past two weeks were just what I needed.

Therapeutic?  Maybe.

Being at Disney World with the kids was so much fun.  I posted on FB one day while I was sitting in Magic Kingdom, waiting Hilary, Gary, and the big kids to ride Space Mountain and while Blaine was taking Owen on another ride on the race cars, that this Disney trip was so special for all of us.  We were celebrating Owen's adoption and everyone at the parks were so nice to all of us during our visits there.  It was fun to be with the kids at the resort.  Swimming in the fountain pool in lukewarm water.  Listening to the laughter.  Having Landon and Owen come in and jump in our bed, then Tessa showing up too.  Sitting on the balcony with Landon, both of us reading so he could finish his book about Harriet Tubman for a school assignment.  Watching the two boys playing in the wa wa in Papaw's bathtub.  Just fun.

But being at Tom and Gina's place was therapeutic for me, and I didn't realize how much until now.

Their place is a double wide in a retirement community about 90 miles south of Orlando between Zolfo Springs and Arcadia.  It really is in the middle of nowhere.  There wasn't much to do closely, but we did find a couple of restaurants to try, a fairly close Walmart to wander through, and we did drive to Sebring to check it out, then to the Sarasota area and to Punta Gorda and Port Charlotte. 

The rest of the time we watched tv (Gary), read (Beth), played with our iPads, or just watched the golf carts and bicycles go by. 

At the time I was not appreciating the quiet of their place, but now I realize that it was just what I needed.  It felt good not to have any place to be or an appointment to keep.  It felt great to not wake up to the alarm and not even think about what time we needed to go to bed or get up in the morning...because it really didn't matter.  As long as we were ready to go somewhere in the afternoon, we were fine.  And even a couple of days we didn't want to do that.

I was thinking yesterday about how much better I have felt since we came home, and I think spending that second week at Zolfo Springs was the key to the rejuvenation that I feel now.  Sometimes we just need to relax and refresh and renew.  And it happens when we least think it will!

Pick Up Time

Since Hilary started to work at the elementary school full time, some things needed to change to adapt to Owen's schedule for the afternoon.  Three days each week the pre-school bus drops him off at a babysitter's house in Rossville.  Other teachers' children are also there so he has lots of kids to play with through the afternoon.

On the other two days, however, his therapy sessions are scheduled for the afternoons. Blaine had suggested that the times be changed to evening so that either he or Hilary could take him.  However, we volunteered to pick him up at school and take him into therapy on Tuesdays and Wednesdays to keep his routine consistent and so as not to add more things for Hilary and Blaine to do in the evenings.

Today was the first day since we were still in Florida last week when Hilary began her new job and Owen started going to the babysitter's house for lunch and the afternoon.

I was parked in front of the school, in the line of vehicles waiting for their children, and in front of the bus, when the kids came out.  Owen was so excited about riding the bus with one of his friends that he ran past the Escape to the bus door.  I scrambled out of the Escape and yelled at him to come back and I could hear the bus driver telling him not to board the bus because he was riding home with his grandma.

As I grabbed his arm, he looked startled, as if he didn't understand what was happening.  The two teachers were approaching with other children and laughed even though he had been reminded that his grandma was picking him up that day, he must have still forgotten and was heading for the bus to ride to the babysitter's house. 

I think that he was confused because to him, I am Mamaw, not Grandma, and he just didn't understand that *I* was the one picking him up!

After he was in the Escape, safely buckled into his car seat in the back seat, he was waving and yelling "Bye bye" to everyone.  Then he began to sing and talk and that continued all the way home.

After lunch, which was for him berries and mini-muffins with a glass of chocolate milk, we went to therapy in Lafayette.  He was so tired that he fell asleep on the drive in, but his therapist said later that during his session he was full of energy.

He did well today too!  She said he played a game while lying on his tummy for four minutes which was an accomplishment.  He also played a crawling game and she was happy with his performance.  He seemed very happy when I picked him up.

After we returned home, he continued to watch "Cars" on the Disney + channel after he enjoyed another snack of berries and mini-muffins plus more chocolate milk.  Daddy came to pick him up around 3.

Tomorrow will be our second day with picking Owen up and taking him to therapy, this time to work on speech.  He is such fun to be with. 

I still am missing the days from last year when Hilary would stop by in the mornings with Lynnlee and Owen when he wasn't in school.  We would eat breakfast, chat for a while, sometimes run into Lafayette to wander around Hobby Lobby or Meijer.  Those days are over. 

But for a few months we will be picking up Owen on Tuesdays and Wednesdays and taking him to therapy after lunch those days.  In April and May Lynnlee will be joining us every week day until the end of the school year.

Fun times ahead.

Gotta love those kiddos!

And after a perfecr night of sleep....

...comes a night of tossing and turning and bad dreams.

Last night was that night.

I couldn't fall asleep at first, but I was just so tired.  My left knee was aching, and my feet hurt, and I just couldn't get comfortable.

Finally when I fell asleep the dreams began.  Well, I am not sure.   I could have slept a while, the the dreams started.  Who knows?

But start they did and they were bad.

Being held down by an ugly man who said he was going to beat me.

Having huge blood bubbles on my feet, the a huge ugly lady pinching them off of my feet and biting into them, spewing blood everywhere.

Losing my copy of Little Women that I had had since I was a little girl.  I had put it, along with another book, on a table in a lobby while I was checking in (maybe to see a doctor) and when I returned, the books were gone.  I searched and searched and finally found the copy of Little Women on the floor in a dirty room but the cover was ripped off and many pages were missing.

Finally I was with a group of people, trying to help them in some way, and Kayley Cervenka Kasten had some type of cut or wound on her arm.  She was concerned because she needed antibiotics and needed to be moved to a safer place with qualified medical personnel.  She knew she needed the antibiotics because she had had a knee replacement and, she told me in a hushed voice, she was pregnant again and needed special care so the baby was not harmed.

Aren't these bizarre?

I always try to find connections for the reasons for my dreams and I might have some.

First - the beating.  Gary and I were taking a quiz that Greta sent me about marriage and family relationships.  Several of the questions dealt with abuse between marriage partners or within a family.  That could be the connection to the first part of the dream.  I woke myself up on that one, by the way.

Second - my feet had been hurting because of all of the walking at Disney World and they still haven't recovered completely.  Another connection to a dream...

Third - Megan and I had talked about seeing the movie Little Women. I would love to see it, but I don't think that Gary would enjoy it and there isn't time for the girls to see it with me.  I don't think Hilary would like it anyway.  I had been thinking about pulling my book out and re-reading it though.  Thus the book part of the dream...

Fourth - blood bubbles   A little bubble appeared on my hand on Saturday morning.  I am not sure whether I pinched my hand in some way or hit it on something but that little blood bubble appeared.   I have been watching it, and while it is fading, it hasn't completely disappeared yet.

Finally - Kayley.  We were just talking about her.  Gary had read an article in the Pulaski County Journal about Caston girls' basketball team breaking a losing streak against West Central that had been going on since 2001.  Hilary was playing then.  We were talking about Hilary's final conference game at West Central and how they had beaten TriCounty that night with Hilary nearly breaking Karlene's school record for three-pointers.  Gary mentioned that it was also the night that Kayley had gone down with a torn ACL.  So there you go.  Final connection.

But her being pregnant?  Maybe the dream is trying to tell us some news?

You never know.

It was a rough night for dreams, but I am glad I figured out why the dreams may have happened.  I just don't want another night like that again.

Progress!!!

A few days ago I wrote about my new 'word of the month' and the book I had found at Target in Port Charlotte.  I reviewed the section about social self-care yesterday after we came home and as I was unpacking the books from my bag.

Maybe it is hard to believe, but I am introverted often.  I like to be at home, I like to do my own thing, and I like to be with just Gary and the girls and the kids. 

I don't like to attend functions where I will feel uncomfortable.  I don't like to walk in and not know where I will sit or who I will talk to or how I will fit in.  I don't like it when I see people I know and they see me and look away or ignore me, which happens often.  I think that is why I liked being 'in charge' or a helper in some situations because the responsibilities gave me a purpose for being there and something to do which inhibited my ability to socialize which was fine with me.

So when I looked at the section of the book about social self-care, it scared me.  I know...I wrote about portions of the book which I liked, which spoke to me.  But it still scares me.  I always think that people will cancel or not accept an invitation because they don't like me.  Or that when I meet someone for the first time, they will be friendly for a while, but once they get to know me, they will realize that I am a dud.

Anyway....I was determined, kind of, to try to improve my social self-care.  Today an opportunity presented itself.

Jan Bailey invited me to her retirement reception at Ivy Tech on Thursday.

Now Jan was the first campus dean I had when I went to Ivy Tech in 2006.  She welcomed me to that group of instructors on the Logansport campus and made me feel at home there.  As we got to know each other, we both felt like we had met before.  We did the series of questions about our backgrounds and where we used to live and previous jobs and finally discovered that we had both lived in Blumberg Hall at Indiana State.  She was older than I, however, and was an RA when I was a freshman. RAs at the time worked the front desk and transferred calls to individual rooms from the switchboard (gee...that sounds really old!) and sorted the mail into individual room mailboxes.  She remembered my name, my maiden name, and me as well. Now I was totally unpopular, didn't receive many phone calls, and not much mail appeared in my mailbox so that in itself was an accomplishment, I felt.

Later Jan told me about the catering business that she and her husband owned and joked that if Megan, who was dating Matt then, was planning a wedding, to keep them in mind for the reception. As it turned out, their reception was at the canal in Delphi and Custom Select did  the catering which eliminated a lot of problems for us since they were familiar with the canal and had the necessary required licenses that were needed.  They also recommended cake bakers and other businesses that could help with our preparations.

Of course later we discovered that Custom Select, the business, was located in Pyrmont, which is where Hilary and Blaine found their dream house soon after Landon arrived in their family.    Because Jan and Darrell live close to Pyrmont and Rossville, several of their grandchildren attend Rossville schools and we have seen Jan at Grandparents Day a few times.

Lots of background, huh?

Anyway.....in the note that Jan sent, she said she remembered my sitting in her office after I had talked to Celestine about my own retirement.  She wanted me to share in her excitement about this next chapter in her life. AND she said that now we could get together for lunch or breakfast or just a cup of coffee (tea for me, of course) and have some fun outings. 

Now...my first thought was excitement.  Then my second thought was "I would like to go but I won't because I will be afraid to walk in by myself and if I see people I know they probably won't want to talk to me anyway so I just won't go."

That was the Beth I don't like to be and the one I am trying to push aside for the more social Beth.

I texted Barb and made arrangements with her to meet and go to the event together.  Then she told me that Phylliss was going to be there and another idea occurred to me.

Facebook messages to Rhonda and Phylliss about meeting for lunch that day, then going to the reception together.

And that is what we are going to do. 

Rhonda, Phylliss, and I will meet for lunch at Chili's, then go to campus and attend Jan's reception, meeting Barb just before it begins.

Sounds like a plan to me!

Lunch with two former colleagues.

Going to the reception with three former colleagues so I don't have to walk in by myself.

Good deal.

Plus I will enjoy visiting with everyone I haven't seen for the last four years.

And I can look forward to  future lunches with Jan after she retires!

As I said...sounds like a plan!

Progress!

There Is No Place like Home...Really

I was ready to come home.  I guess I am not yearning to spend my winters in warmer climates.  At least not yet!  I missed my house.  I missed my routine.  I missed my people.  I missed sleeping in my own bed.

Now granted....being in warm temps at Disney was wonderful.  My forehead was damp with sweat on Thursday, which only happens when I am hot...and I mean hot.  Not just warm.  So it was hot that day.  Not 90s hot, but hot enough that my forehead was damp.

Now granted...I am still re-living the memory of being at the pool on Wednesday or Thursday evening and the water was wonderful.  It felt like bath water.  The kids were having so much fun.  WE were having so much fun----Gary in his corner.  Me floating around on my back.  The kids yelling 'Marco' then 'Polo' with other kids they had just met chasing them around through the water.  Hilary and Blaine relaxing and enjoying their family and chatting with other parents.

Can't do that in the pool at Lortons in January!

The time at Disney was magical, really magical.  Fussing over Owen was priceless.  Seeing the kids excited about things that really interested them was so much fun.  I wouldn't trade that for anything.

But I was ready to be home.

I am happier today, right now, than I was at any point during the last week.

I just needed to be home. 

I could read at home.

I could cook meals at home.

I could sleep in my own bed.

And while we appreciate the generosity, the great location, the peacefulness, the ability to just rest and relax....

I was ready to be home.

I like our house. 

I like sleeping in our bed (and I slept for 8.5 hours last night...barely waking up to go to the bathroom.

I like having my things close by.

I missed having a cup of tea at the island.

I missed the kids.

It was SO much fun being at Disney World.

It was WONDERFUL being at the condo at Sea World and having the kids come in and jump on the bed or listen to Owen and Landon splash in the tub.

It was RELAXING to spend a few days at Tom and Gina's place south of Zolfo Springs.

But there is no place like home.

And I am glad we are back.

Last Day before Returning Home

Today was the last day in Orlando, for tomorrow morning at 10:00 we will be sitting on a plane, ready to leave the Sunshine State for snowy Indiana.

I have been ready to go home since last Saturday, and last night when we returned to Orlando, I was wishing that we could drive straight to the airport to board the plane then.

But today has been good.  We had a nice day.

Breakfast at IHOP.

Vineland Premium Outlets.  Man, oh, man....a line at the Disney store!  Then a line to get into the line.  We skipped that one.  We did give some business to the Vera Bradley Outlet store though!

Disney Springs.  I wanted a small Pluto, then we added in a small stuffed crab.  We stopped at the big Disney store, just to look around, and found Minnie Mouse backpacks for $40 which was half as much as the other ones we had seen.  Two of those are going home with us - one for Tessa and one for Lynnlee.  We sat and people-watched for a while.  Interesting to watch sizes and shapes, scotters and strollers,  all stages of dress and footwear.

I love stopping at Bass Pro Shop and checking out their clothes.  Sounds strange, I know, but I have several items in my closet and dresser drawers from that place.  Before we went there, though, we checked out the cinema closeby.  I wanted to see Gentlemen and it was playing there; in fact, it was just starting.  So that was our first activity on the north end of Orlando.

After the movie it was time for Bass Pro Shop and I did find a sweater and top to wear home.  Gary found a good sale on a shirt for himself.

Dinner was at Freddie's. We had double cheeseburgers and fries (which were extremely salty).  As we were eating, Gary remarked that we had had one of the best days since the kids left.  Although we did enjoy the rest and relaxation at Zolfo Springs, we really did like buzzing around Orlando today.  It just felt comfortable here.

And tomorrow we fly home.

Lots of talk about what we might do next January. 

Find a place down the coast?

Spend a week around Tampa then travel south for a second week?

Two weeks in Orlando?

Not sure where we will be or even if we will come to Florida again.

But today?  Lots of memories again of our winter trip in January 2020.

New Word of the Year

I think I posted earlier about my Word of the Year being Faith.  It seemed like a good idea to focus on Faith because there are so many facets of Faith that I need to work on.  However, the other day I found a book that has re-directed my focus.

When we stopped at a Target in Port Charlotte, Florida, I wasn't really looking for a new book.  We had driven to Punta Gorda to try a seafood restaurant, then crossed the bridge to find a Target so that I could look for a cover for the new iPad we purchased at the Verizon store in Bradenton on Sunday.

The title of the book?  The Self-Care Prescription, but Robyn L Gobin, PhD.  My friend Karen from Michigan had selected Self-Care as her Word of the Year last year.  She was going through a divorce, was living in an apartment, then moved back to the house her husband had vacated, was teaching diabetes classes, and was working at the hospital and volunteering in the local theatres.  Self-care seemed to be a perfect fit for her, and she was seeing a therapist as well.

As I flipped through the book, I noticed several sections for focus:  physical, social, intellectual, vocational, spiritual, and emotional.  Those seemed vital to me.  I had already written about the need for friends in my life.  I have addressed the need for spiritual growth.  I am working on the physical aspect of my life with my membership at the Fitness Center.  But I need work on all of those areas more and explore the other three (emotional, intellectual, and vocational) I hadn't even thought about.

Hmmmm...

Maybe I had hit on something.

So the book was tossed into the cart, taken back to the retirement community where we were staying, and I started to read.

I found myself underlining several sentences in the introduction to the book.  Self-care is about making yourself a priority.   Yes.  Yes it is. I need to put caring for myself first because I am important. If I am not at my best, I can't be good for others.

Giving yourself what you need to be happy, healthy, and fully present for your life.  How did I get through the holidays?  I muddled through.  I was tired.  I was close to tears most of the time. I just wanted them to be over.  I didn't enjoy them much.  A little.  Not much.  Right now, if I stop to think about memories from Christmas, I can't really think of much that was fun. It seemed like work, and  I was so worried about everyone else being happy or enjoying everything that I just wasn't happy myself  and I didn't enjoy it.  I don't want my life to be that way.

And most importantly...these things:  Self-care is not always fun or relaxing, and you won't always 'feel like' doing it.  Sometimes self-care involves forgiving yourself for past mistakes, setting boundaries in relationships, making that medical or dental appointment you've been putting off, saying no to a fun night out because you're sleep deprived, or choosing to walk away from a job or a relationship you have outgrown.  Yep.  I need to read that and read it again...and then read it again. It's more than just getting a pedicure or spending an afternoon under a blanket, reading a favorite book.

I like this too:  Self-care is about taking a serious look in the mirror and making changes that will give your life more balance, meaning, purpose, and fulfillment.  I like this as well because of the words:  balance, meaning, purpose, and fulfillment.  I focus too much on just one thing.  Or maybe two.  I need more balance.  WE need more balance.  I need more purpose.  I have a few purposes and a few things I like to do, but there is more that I am missing out on.  Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays at the Fitness Center may be a little expensive, but I love going there.  Attending church more often in Delphi is the plan when we return home and I hope to find a small group or a women's group I can connect with there.

And finally this:  So many of us have bought into the idea that we are somehow weak if we're unable to solve problems on our own.  Many years ago a friend said to me after I had been sick, "Are you sick AGAIN?  What is wrong with you THIS time?" and it made me feel like I were a hypochondriac.  I felt bad even saying that I didn't feel in tiptop shape.  Also if I have issues that I just can't resolve myself and I talk about them, I have heard "well, maybe you need some professional help!  Is that what you want???" like it would be a negative about my character and personality to need some professional help with any issue.  And I surely didn't want that!  What a stigma!  But this author stresses that just like we need help with medical issues, or with financial issues, or with areas in which we are not well-equipped (like needing a plumber or electrician), sometimes we need help with our mental or emotional issues.  There is no stigma in that.  Or there shouldn't be.

As I said, I already wrote about needing more girlfriends, people to chat with.  Lunch dates.  Sewing sessions.  Hobby Lobby shopping trips.  Those types of things.  I recognize that and I am taking steps to work on adding more girlfriend time to my life.

But another thing I read in the chapter about Social Self-Care was setting dates for certain things.

Gary and I always like to go to movies, and when we moved to our new house we were excited about being able to just go to a movie without carving out an entire day to do so.  How many movies have we seen in Lafayette during the last 18 months?  Maybe 3?  4?  That is sad.  Why don't we take advantage of being so close to the theatres?

So what we are going to do when we return home is set our Movie Date Nights.  At least two a month.  We will pick two dates, mark them on the calendar, and we will go to the movies and out for dinner that evening.  Nothing (I hope) will get in the way of that.  Those date nights will be important and fun...and part of our social self-care.

Sound like a plan?  I think so!

Two Weeks. Too Much?

The two weeks in Florida are coming to an end.  As it was last year when we spent two weeks in Orlando, I am ready to go home.  Actually I was ready last Saturday.

Don't get me wrong.  I like the warmer weather.  I like being away from the responsibilities and appointments and the daily routines.  But I miss some of that too.

And the week with the kids at the resort and at Disney was so special.  I wouldn' t trade that for anything.  So many memories made.

But I was ready to return home with the kids.  I am ready to go home now.  And I don't like that feeling because I sometimes feel like I am wishing my life away and I don't want to do that.  Time flies by so fast as it is.

Last year we spent two weeks at two different resorts in Orlando.  The weather didn't really cooperate, and we didn't do anything with Disney or Universal, other than going to Disney Springs a couple of times and going to Blue Man Group at Universal City Walk.  But it just seemed like too long.  There were maybe two days that it was warm enough to sit by the pool.  We stayed in and watched tv and I read...and we could have done that at home...for free!

This year Blaine and Hilary and the kids were here for the first week, and the time at the resort was fun.  We really enjoyed the four days at the parks, even though we were SO tired, and swimming in the evenings and buzzing around Orlando was fun too. Waking up to Landon and Owen jumping on our bed, hearing them talk and laugh....it was priceless.

Tom and Gina offered their winter home outside of Zolfo Springs to us for the second week.  This was in a retirement community and reminded us of being back in Pulaski County.  It wasn't because of the terrain, the little towns, or the atmosphere.  It was because there was NOTHING to do there.  The people in the little community were happy, buzzing around in the golf carts and riding their bicycles. We didn't do that.  Four men stopped by in the first hour after we arrived, just to help out with some issues we were having with the tv and the ac and to offer help if needed. That was the extent of their friendliness except for Bill next door who chatted when we saw him.  But as far as a movie theatre, restaurants, entertainment of any kind?  There wasn't much.  We did find some things to do in the town north and the one south. A Chili's. A Walmart.  An Italian restaurant with good food. But other days we drove over an hour to Punta Gorda and Port Charlotte, one day to Sarasota and Bradenton Beach, and another day to Sebring.  There was a lot of time to watch tv and to read, which we did.  But we could do that at home.  Maybe we should have been more social and visited with the people more.  If we were going to be permanent or semi-permanent residents, we would have.  If the golf cart had been more reliable, we might have taken a couple drives around the complex to check it out and wave at the residents.  But we didn't.  We isolated ourselves.  One thing we did learn....we are NOT ready for that kind of life yet.

I am looking forward to being home again.  I miss my bed.  I miss my shower and bathroom.  I miss my kitchen.  I miss running into Lafayette.  I miss the kids.

And I know once we return home on Sunday, that things will become very busy with having Owen on Tuesdays and Wednesdays and returning to the Fitness Center on MWF mornings, and with Cooper and Lynnlee spending the night on Friday.

While we enjoyed our two very different yet somewhat similar January trips the last two years, we need to think about what we will do next year.  A different area?  Another state?  A different plan?  Just stay home?  Any suggestions?  We are open to them.

Ready for Vacation

No, it is not summer.

No, it is not spring break.

Yes, we just returned from our annual trip to the Smoky Mountains.

But we are taking off again!

This time we are flying to Orlando for a week at the Sea World Resort.

For the third time in three years, we are flying to Orlando in January.  We won't be alone this time....at least for a week of our time there.

Hilary, Blaine, and the kids are flying to Orlando on Saturday also, different and earlier flight, to join us.  We will be celebrating Owen's adoption at DISNEY WORLD!

Yes, we are going to Disney World next week.

The kids are SO excited.  They are flying for the first time.  They are staying at a condo at the resort.  They are going to spend four days at Disney World.

Princesses.

Rides.

And for Owen....Up close and personal with Buzz and Woody!  Slinky Dog too!

What fun we will have!

The second week Gary and I are driving to  Zolfo Springs, which is 90 miles south of Orlando, and accepting Tom and Gina's invitation to stay at their place there for the week.  We are so thankful for good friends and really appreciate their generosity in offering us their place for the week.

Now the task at hand is packing for the two weeks we will be gone.  Checking the weather forecast for the next two weeks shows temps in the 80s for Orlando and in the 70s for the following week. 

So far I have a stack of tops and capris, two swimsuits, and the usual underwear, socks, pajamas, and toiletries.  What I need to do tomorrow is really look at the clothes and plan out what I will wear when, keeping in mind that there are stores where I can buy extra clothes if needed, we will have a washer and dryer, and that no one will care if I wear the same shirt a few times.  I always overpack.

Going to Disney World is not high on my list of fun things to do....except when the kids are going too.  There is something about watching their eyes light up, seeing their excitement, and being tugged along the way as we thread through the crowds at Magic Kingdom.   

This will be SO much fun.

We are ALL ready for vacation!

Another Project

Two years ago in February I enrolled in a quilting class at the Rossville Quilts.  Supervised instruction with someone who knew what she was doing in a place which specialized in this sewing process what just what I wanted...and needed.

Sure I knew how to sew.  I had made several quilts.  But most of what I did was self-taught, and I knew not much of anything of about quilting itself so I needed help.

I loved the class.  Three other ladies joined me in the class time and the instructor was an employee of the shop.  Not only did I learn about different blocks and patterns, I learned new skills and met new people.  I also felt like comfortable in the shop so that I could return and ask for help if needed.

One thing or another got in the way of my finishing the quilt after the top itself was completed.  It needed to be quilted, and I just don't do that.  Then with the move, the cleaning out of houses, and Gary's illness over the summer, I just didn't think about completing it.

A couple of months ago we cleaned out the sewing room, rearranged things, organized my fabrics and notions, and retrieved several quilt projects.  One of those was a baby quilt which was completed except for the binding.  Finishing that was easy except for my eyes giving out on me.  After the cataract surgery the handstitching was finished and the quilt gifted to Shelby and Caleb for Elijah.

Another project was this sampler quilt, which I wanted to make into a wall hanging.  I took it to Betty in Burnettsville before Christmas and asked her to quilt it for me---no hurry.  Yesterday she called and said she had just pulled it off the frame and it was ready to for pick up.

I just returned from the shop with the quilt.  It is ready for binding. When I made the quilt, I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with the completed project.  It is supposed to be a wall hanging, but the colors didn't match anything in our house and there was no available wall space for hanging it.

HOWEVER....there are four walls in the new sewing room that are just begging for something to hang on one of them.  The walls are an off-white, which is a perfect background for the colors in the quilt.

How long will it take me to make the binding, attach it to the quilt, and handstitch it on all four sides, plus add a heading so that a rod can be inserted for hanging?    Not sure.  But I know it will be finished before summer and in its new home!

Another project!  I am so excited!

Conversations with Friends

I miss those.


One thing I now miss about not working anymore and moving from where we had lived for 43 years is conversations with friends.

When I was teaching, both at West Central and at Ivy Tech, each and every day I would talk with people.  Well, duh.  I was a teacher. I HAD to talk to people.  But the key word here is 'with' because I liked conversations, not just lectures.  I liked the time before class began and just before the bell rang.  I liked the discussions we would have in the classroom.  I liked learning about the students and their personalities, their families, their activities, and their concerns.

I liked the adult conversations, whether in the office or in the hallway between classes or around the lunch table in the lounge.  I always enjoyed finding out what was going on in the lives of my colleagues, new tidbits of information about current and former students, and world news!

Not only those things, but I miss the comments. "Hey, Beth...is that a new sweater?  Love the color!"  or "Mrs. S!  Your new haircut looks good!"  or "I love those boots, Mrs. S.  Where did you get those?"  or  "How are the kids doing, Beth?   Doesn't Landon have a birthday coming up?"

Those are the perks of the day.  And it is somewhat ironic that Gary and I were just talking about this (and for the record, he just doesn't understand the void I feel) and today's devotion has to do with positive feedback and how important that is.

Today's trip north was therapeutic for me.  First of all, Amy and Brenda (Gary's hair stylist and my former stylist from years and years ago) were really happy to see me when I walked into Headlines today.  They both complemented me on my new sweater.  They both asked about the girls and the kids.   Amy really liked the picture on FB of Gary and his new hat.  I definitely enjoyed that visit.  Then at the bank I talked to Kyle (a former student who does part time security for the bank) for a while.   He is returning to school and he talked about recalling things he had learned in my classes.    When we went to Francesville,  I saw Hughie Sams (a family friend) as we pulled up to the salon.  I chatted with him, then he went over to talk to Gary.  Later Jim Ketchen (our minister) came in to make an appointment and talked with me, then with Gary when he left.  Anna Jean (a retired cafeteria lady at school) and Trudy (the mother of my stylist) both came in and I talked with them.  Of course talking with Lindsey (my favorite stylist) is always fun.  She is always so nice and complimentary about the kids and my hair and anything I share with her.  It felt good to be with people I knew and be able to talk with them and have them know my family and my daughters and my grandchildren and not have to explain anything to anyone.

So yes.  This is one thing I miss.  Conversations with friends.

Maybe I need to return there more often.

Or maybe I need to get out more here and make some new friends too!

New Devotional Guide

Last year my friend Rhonda and I studied The Illustrated Words of Jesus for Women for our daily devotions.

Rhonda lives in San Antonio; I live outside of Lafayette.  We have never really met.

A few years ago we were in the same small group for a Proverbs 31 Online Bible Study.  We were two of the only three people, besides the leader, who participated in the weekly discussions.  Through that we struck up a friendship and decided to break off from that group, seek out other small groups for ourselves, and also create our own small group of 2 to just chat or work on devotions on our own.

Last year she had selected the book mentioned above and I asked if I could join her. I ordered a book and we posted just about every day about that particular scripture, reading, and prayer.  There was also a picture on each daily page to color; for a while, I kept up with those and found them relaxing, but by summer, I had fallen behind.  However, I didn't fall behind in the daily readings until the end of December.  The holidays just filled up too much of my time.

A few weeks before Thanksgiving Hilary and I were in the west side Meijer so she could print out some senior pictures.  I was wandering around the area, checking out books since they were close.  I found a few books that would be good possibilities for this year's study, and after exchanging texts and pictures with Rhonda, we decided on 365 Devotions to Love God and Love Others Well.  I liked this book for  several reasons.  The format is the same as the one we used last year.  However, the scriptures are from the entire Bible, not just the Gospels.   There are no pictures to color.  That makes the book a little more compact since the pictures took up half the page sometimes.

Even though we got off to a slow start, not posting anything until January 3, we have been consistent with posting since then.  I like the format.  I like that verses from other books of the Bible are included and we can discuss those. The commentaries are good and applicable to us.  The prayers are meaningful.

But the best part is that we are sharing our ideas and thoughts, asking each other questions, and unloading concerns that we might not share with others.

It will be an interesting year, one that I am looking forward to.

 

Everything Is Put Away for Another Year

It's always sad for me to put the Christmas things away. 

I like Christmas for the most part, and I like the lights shining in the evening.  I like the glow through the month of December.  I like riding around the countryside and looking at the trees lit in houses and the outdoor lights that dot the landscapes and housetops.

We have two trees.  One is large and in the living room at the entrance from the dining room/kitchen into the bigger room. The other is the cardinal tree that sits in the corner of the dining room in front of the long windows.  I guess we have other trees too since Ann's large ceramic tree is downstairs in the family room sitting on a cabinet and the little ceramic tree that she made was in the window of the family room too.  I bought a new gold tree with twinkle lights that sat on the table my grandfather made that usually has Dad's flag and a few other things from him on it.

Once those trees are put away, the rooms seem empty.  And dark.

I like the other decor also, and the lights that give just enough light in the rooms so that we can walk around the house and not run into anything if no other lights are on.

But it is all put away now.

Some of the snowmen are still sitting on windowsills and counter tops.

The lighted garland is still on the mantle.

Some reminders of winter still dot the house.

Never fear---in 11 months, we will be pulling everything out again, trying to remember what goes where, what happened to certain items, and what new things we can add.

Who knows?  Maybe the red lantern that was lost this year will turn up again!

Word of the Year - Faith

Have you heard about people choosing a "Word of the Year" and focusing on it throughout the next 12 months?

My DWLZ ladies mentioned it last year, so I took the little test and came up with Delight as my word.

It seemed like a good idea at the time, but soon I fell away from it and felt so far away from anything 'delightful' that it was comical. 

Icy days with a funeral of Gary's good friend in the middle of them.

Cooler than normal temps in Florida when we were there.

A trip to Arizona that was not much fun (except seeing the Grand Canyon was memorable).

A trip to Las Vegas that resulted in a Big Win for me, but the loss of a toe for Gary.

A housebound summer for Gary as he recovered from the amputation of that toe.

Vision issues that ended with cataract surgery in November and early December.

None of those were delightful.  But we did have some good things happen too.

Two trips to Myrtle Beach.  Owen's adoption party here.  Hosting Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve again.  Lots of visitors to our house.  Landon's successful first year of 4-H.

The results of the 'find your word of the year' test a couple of weeks ago, the word selected for me was "rest."  Really?  I am not really into resting much, especially with a sewing room brimming with projects to complete and some to start.  I am not really into resting with a bag of books to read.  I am  not really into resting with places to go and people to see.  So I discarded that one.

I tried the test again with different selections.  This time the word was 'abide.'  Really?  What does that even mean?  I am focusing on abiding?  How do I abide?

I discarded that one also.

But then it came to me that 'faith' was a good word, one that needed some focus in my life.

Faith.

Faith in God.  Reading the Bible more.  Daily prayer time.  More trust in God's plan for my life.

Faith in myself.  I doubt myself so much.  Even with all that I have accomplished in my life, my self-confidence is low.  I don't think that what I do is good, is appreciated, is acceptable.  I need to realize that I can sew, that I have valid opinions, that what others think of me is not important.  Knowing that I did the best that I can with the abilities that I have is what is important.

Faith in my family.  I am blessed with a wonderful husband, two impressive daughters, two hard-working sons-in-law, and five adorable grandchildren.  We moved to the new house to be closer to them, which reinforces the belief that family is strong and very important. 

All that I can do this year is to focus on faith.  If I strive to perfect the first one, Faith in God, then the others will fall into place.

I can do this. 

Much better than 'delight.'  Much MUCH better than 'rest' and 'abide.'

I'll keep you posted.

Trip #10

This was Trip #10. 

For 10 years we have been going to Gatlinburg.  The trip began to create a different New Years Eve after Dad died on New Year's Eve morning in 2009.   The summer of 2010 Karen had some health issues, so we decided we needed to do something totally different than usual.  When Gary asked me what I wanted to do, out of somewhere I pulled the answer.  "Go to Gatlinburg!"  That sounded good to Karen and Clay.  The tradition was born.

Through the 10 years we have stayed a variety of places:

2010 - Laurel Inn
2011-  Laurel Inn (same condo, nice, decorated for the holidays)
2012 - Laurel Inn (different condo - small, shabby)
2013 - Oakmont (ok, nothing special)
2014 - Treetops (across the road, all on one floor, nice fireplace)
2015 - Treetops (main complex, two floors, bedrooms upstairs)
2016 - Fire, Treetops burned, stayed at another place in PF behind Dunkin Donuts, nice but bugs that bit me)
2017 - cabin - behind Tanger Outlets(nice, cozy)
2018 - larger cabin off road by theater in Sevierville
2019 - Treetops Loft (great condo above the others)

I needed the trip this year.

The holidays had been difficult for me, for a variety of reasons.  Physically, mentally, emotionally---I felt drained.

But as we drove south, I felt the tension, the tiredness, the apathy....drain from me.

I know, I know.   I slept most of the time in the second row of the minivan.   I missed out on most of Kentucky and part of Tennessee.  But I felt better.

And the condo was really really nice. It was relatively new. We think it was built after the fire.  There were two bedrooms and baths plus the living room and dining room/kitchen combo.  There were also two twin beds in the loft overlooking the living room.

Since we were staying in Gatlinburg, we decided to hit one area a day and work our way from north to south.

We arrived on Saturday and made our customary first stop at Bass Pro Shop.  I love that place and found several shirts and a sweater. I wore the vest I found on sale one day too.  We stopped at Smoky Mountain Brewery, which is one of our favorite restaurants, and I ordered shells, a salad, and a Lemon Drop Martini.  The drink was not up to standards, but the food was great.  After a stop at Krogers we were ready to find the condo.

Sunday was the day for Sevierville.  The shops at Tanger Outlets were not crowded when we arrived, but the parking lot soon filled due to the nice weather, the fact that it was Sunday, and the large crowds taking advantage of the holiday.  We went to the usual shops.  I did purchase more than I had planned.  How can one not take advantage of good sales?  Vera Bradley.  The Playtex store for new bras.  Skechers for a new pair of black boots.  Nike for a pair of shoes for Tessa Rose.    Then we went to Apple Valley.  Megan requested Apple Peach wine and since there was a special since it was the Wine of the Month, we bought three bottles.  We also visited the new hard cider tasting room and purchased a 4-pack of several flavors.  A stop for mini-loaves of bread was necessary also.

The Island was the focus for Monday. We always have such fun there.  The new store for us this year was the sock place.  We found special socks for several people on our Christmas list and will save them for next year.  We also discussed doing a sock exchange for our Christmas Eve party.  The only place that I didn't buy anything was the Puzzle Store.  I love that place and saw so many puzzles that intrigued me, but I know we have several puzzles that have not been put together yet, so I didn't buy more.  The 5 & 10 had a sale of garden and house flags so I added to my seasonal collection.  We enjoyed lunch at Margauritaville and bought a couple of shirts on the way out.  The next stop was Alewine Pottery where I added to our soup bowl collection.  I also found two salsa bowls for my new friend Vicky at Miracles Fitness.  We ended the evening with our 'fancy dinner' at The Alamo.  I love the horseradish parmesan crusted filet, baked potato, and Caesar salad.  I remembered that the Lemon Drops there were not the best, so I ordered a peach tea that was good, but I probably will not order it again.  The blackberry cobbler was a little disappointing.  We might go with the apple crisp next year.

We knew that Gatlinburg would be crowded on Tuesday, so we were awake, showered, and ready to go early.  There were parking spots in our favorite spot by The Village.  Most of the shops were closed until 10 (and we were there at 9) so we started by going into the candy shop for the sugar free delights that Gary enjoys.  Since the Life Is Good shop was open, we browsed in there and found a couple of shirts, one as a gift for next year.  The shoe shop across from it was open also and I did something I never thought I would do.  I bought a pair of Twisted X boots and a pair of wool socks.  The boots were on sale, but what I saved there I spent on the very expensive socks!  We also went into the oils store and I replenished the bacon flavored oil that we like to use with hash browns, added a lime basalmic vinegar, and another flavor that sounded good that I think I can use.  Of course I had to stop at Donut Friar for long johns and Gary bought a couple of bags of popcorn at that shop.  I also added three packets of loose tea to our purchases.  Karen was able to find stockings to match the ones she purchased last year and had two new names embroidered on them.  We also walked to the clock store and browsed, then went to the boot place on Cowboy Way to check out more boots.  It was a fun day.  Plus we beat the crowds.  We left as the streets were filling, then left to try yet another new spot, Three Jimmys.

New Years Eve we spent in the condo.  We ordered pizza and ate snacks and we played Yahtzee.  Clay found a game at the 5 & 10 at The Island.  At midnight we watched the fireworks in Gatlinburg from the balcony.  It was funny because we were watching them ABOVE the fireworks., looking down,  rather than looking up at them.

New Year's Day found us having a good breakfast in the condo, then going to the movies.  Knives Out was a great movie.  I really enjoyed it.  Lunch was popcorn and a diet Pepsi!  After the movie we drove north to the Knives place to look for a tea kettle at the kitchen part of the store.  We didn't find one, but I did buy a new rolling pin (which I really didn't need), a pastry blender, and an oil infuser.  We also stopped at Walmart so Karen could find a few things she needed, and I did find a new tea kettle there.  Finally we stopped at Bennett's BBQ for dinner. 

January 2 found us on the road north.  I slept again, mainly since I didn't sleep well in the bed in the condo.  It was very soft, and the sheet and blankets just didn't feel right for some reason.  I was asleep before we hit the interstate north of the road to Gatlinburg, I missed driving through Tennessee and part of Kentucky, then I slept again as we were leaving Kentucky and re-entering Indiana.    Gary said the traffic was not heavy, and we did make good time.  It was 8 hours even from the time we left the condo to the time we pulled in our drive.  We stopped once for lunch and once for gas/bathroom.

It was a good trip.  I always enjoy going to Gatlinburg, and I like going with Gary, Clay, and Karen.  We know where we like to go, we have favorite restaurants, and we like to try new places also.  It is always a nice, relaxed, enjoyable trip.

Ten years.