Now wait a minute.....

I am not a political person.  I vote. I am patriotic.  But I will not discuss politics with too many people.

This week I heard a statement that as a woman, I had to check with my husband first and he told me whom to vote for in, specifically, the Presidential election.

Now for one thing.....  No one tells me what to do, let alone how to vote.

My dad raised both Greta and me to think for ourselves. to be independent, and to be sure that we could take care of ourselves, not depend on anyone else to do so for us.

That is why I was determined to earn my college degree and seek a profession where I could make my own money and be able to care for myself and my family if needed.

That is why, when Gary and I were married, I was sure that the word 'obey' was not in the marriage vows.  I did not want to vow to 'obey' anyone, for I believed, and Gary did too, that our marriage was a partnership, give and take, and one in which we would talk about decisions affecting us and our family.

Where voting was concerned, Dad always stressed that we research the person, the issue, the platform, and make our choices based on those which aligned the best with our beliefs.  Sometimes our vote would be for a Republican, sometimes for a Democrat, and sometimes for an Independent. But we needed to vote for the person, not the party itself.  Never had he ever voted a straight ticket and he encouraged us to do the same.

He also stressed how important it was for us TO vote in each election, even the primary which may be largely empty of contested races.  It was still our duty, our right, our obligation to vote every time we had the opportunity because we would never want that right to be taken away from us.

These are some of the reasons why I am furious that anyone would say that I had to check with Gary first before I voted or, even worse, that I would allow him to TELL me whom I must vote for.

Furthermore for someone who is supposed to be an advocate of women, who is supposed to be a forerunner in politics to the point of running for the highest office in the land, to make such statements fills me with anger.

I can vote for myself.  I can make up my own mind. 

Just What I Needed to Hear (or Read!)

I was awake at 5:00 a.m. (which I kept telling myself was really 4:00 since the time just changed on Sunday morning).  I tried to go back to sleep and couldn't. It was one of those times when my mind was racing about all kinds of other things and I couldn't relax.  I finally went downstairs to pick up my Nook and grab my glasses off the dining room table.

I mentioned before that I have been participating in Read the Bible in 365 Days on the YouVersion app.  Since we will be on the cruise and in Miami for over a week, I knew I would be behind in my daily devotions, so I have been reading ahead instead.  I finally had the number of days ahead to the point where I could read each day, as I had been, and be ready to start again exactly on the date of our return.

This morning at 5, I decided to read the day's scheduled devotion.  Topic:  temptation

Even though the scriptures began with a focus on adultery and the temptation of a beautiful woman to lure a man away from his wife, there was also a section about people complaining about food.  The devotional discusses this particular aspect as well.

Now temptation about food is what I deal with each and every day.  In fact, one of the reasons that I enjoyed and could relate to Lysa Terkeurst's book Made to Crave was the focus on just that - tempting food and control over that temptation.

It is hard.  Food looks SO good.  Juicy steaks.  Delectible desserts.  Wonderful chocolate concoctions.

And the smells?  Bread baking in the oven.   A roast cooking in the crockpot.  Bacon frying.

This doesn't even begin to describe the sense of taste when a morsel of meat melts in one's mouth (as it does at The Alamo in Gatlinburg) or a perfect blend of tomato sauce, meats, and cheese on a pizza crust.

Texture is important too. Sometimes I just need some crunch.  Or the feeling of chocolate melting in my mouth.  Or the coolness of ice cream.  Or the munching on a pretzel rod.

The problem with any and all of these?  Calories.  Fat.  Carbs.  Weight added to the body.

We are taught that temptation is constant.  It is not something that happens just once, we conquer it, and we move on, never to be bothered by it again.  No one hands us diplomas declaring that we are graduates of the School of Conquering Temptation and that we are free to do what we want for the rest of our lives with no consequences.

There will always be temptation.  And it will find us every day.

Every day.

Every meal.

With every morsel of food that we encounter.

So why was this particular devotion just what I needed to hear?

Because I am struggling with weight loss.

Because my clothes have gone up one size since last summer.

Because we are leaving for a cruise where food will be plentiful and available and the temptation will be great.

For on a cruise - it is all paid for, the meals are regular and the snacks always available, and the choices are superb.

Temptation is going to be a challenge next week.  Yes it is.

So I need to remember what I read this morning, even though I fell asleep after I closed the Nook and forgot about it until around noon tody.

Plus I plan to re-read the same passages before we leave on Thursday.

I can conquer temptation. It just takes some determination, some good choices, and a strong will.

I have done it before.  I can do it again.

Uh....not according to my mom.

Nobody moves into a new home and thinks to themselves, “I can’t wait to fill this entire house with clutter.”

Simplify Magazine's latest issue is the "Declutter Issue". Available now. https://simplifymagazine.com/fb/

This was a post I saw on FB yesterday and it brought to mind a conversation with Mom soon after Dad died.

We were all concerned about Mom living alone after Dad died.  She may have been capable of living by herself, but her mobility, especially up and down the steps, was hampered.  Since the washer and dryer were downstairs and the only bathroom upstairs, it was hard to stay on one level at the times when laundry was on the day's schedule.  It would have been very easy for her to fall and not be able to call for help.

Also Dad took care of the yard, the maintenance of the house and the little barn, the patio, and the area with the swing.  He cared for the flower beds on the hill where the hostas thrived.  Once again she would need to hire someone for yard care and the normal maintenance would disappear until something was noticed that needed more attention, specifically hiring someone to paint or fix spouting or trim hedges or whatever.

Snow removal?  Dad's responsibility.  Picking up the mail and the papers from the boxes at the end of the drive?  Dad, especially during inclement weather. 

We also knew that Dad had wanted to start the downsizing process before he became ill and that he wanted to move to a place that was easier to navigate and much easier to care for. 

Mom wouldn't even talk about it.

At some time in the spring or summer after Dad died, we approached Mom about two things. One was considering a move to a smaller place on one floor with mail delivery at the door and yard care and snow removal provided. Greta checked several places closer to her so that she could keep an eye on Mom and even include her in some outings during the week since she wouldn't need to drive an hour each way to visit her.  The other was trading in the Buick, which was large and an older model which didn't feature any of the new gadgets, like automatic door locks or a trunk that popped up with the push of a button (that worked).

Her responses?  Negative.  Actually angry. 

We even drove around the local car lots, checking out cute new models, and a few used ones, that would be perfect for her.  Smaller in size, higher off the ground so it would be easier to slide in and out, and lots of buttons to push for automatic door and window openings and closings.  A small SUV would have been perfect.

But no.  She wouldn't even look at one, let alone consider a trade of 'the boat' for a smaller, easier to drive model.

As soon as Gary approached her about possibly downsizing and moving to a place closer to Greta and easier to care for, her first response was a laugh, followed by this:  "Sure I would like to move, but only if it is a BIGGER house.  I need more room for all of my things that I have now and all of the things I need to buy."

Just her version of that passage at the beginning of this post. 

And full of clutter the house was!  Without Dad there to monitor her, she added to her stash of everything each and every time she shopped.  Up until the week before she went to the hospital for the heart valve replacement, she was stocking up on food and other items.  We found a sales slip from Buehlers dated the Friday before her surgery and she had spent a couple hundred dollars on food, including a big bag of potatoes and a large pork roast.   The sad thing is that she left the house on Dec. 14 and never returned. The bag of potatoes rotted.  The pork roast was in the freezer and came home with us.

But that was her way with everything!  We found rolls and rolls of toilet papers, boxes and boxes of kleenex, bales of paper towels, boxes upon boxes of Depends.  Clothes hanging in the closets, on the shower rod in the bathroom, on the clotheslines in the basement - many still with tags and never worn.  Socks, socks, and more socks, still with the tags. 

But I digress. 

Whoever wrote the line that I copied for the beginning of this post did not know Marjorie Henderson.  She would have filled that house so fast it would have made your head spin.  Clutter was her passion!

"The Lord bless you and keep you..."

While I have always known that verses in the Bible have been inserted into sermons and messages and transformed into passages that are added to music for hymns and contemporary songs, I am always delighted when I find a passage that is very familiar and I can put the book, chapter, and verses with it.

As I have been reading The Bible in 365 Days on the YouVersion app, I have picked up passages that I remember from watching (and reading) Mistral's Daughter.  This movie focuses on the Jewish religion so most of what I recall is found in the Old Testament.

Occasionally I will be reading and find myself humming along with the tune of a contemporary song or an old hymn based on scripture.

Currently I am reading several segments each day, trying to get ahead for the missed days on the cruise.  We won't have internet connection for the time on the ship and I need it to connect to the app.  Even the minimal internet package would not 'do it' for me to have access.  So I am reading ahead and trying not to be too upset that my 'streak' of connecting each day will be broken while we are gone.

I am more of a New Testament girl, plus I enjoy the Psalms and Proverbs.  But the books of the Old Testament?  Not a fan.  Now, however, I can't read the entire Bible without hitting Exodus and Leviticus and Numbers, which is where I am right now.  Some of the reading has been tedious, and I am so thankful for the devotional commentary each day which gives me some background and a little bit of context for the chapters of the day.  But seriously.  Yesterday I read the SAME offerings brought by a large number of sons.  The SAME thing.  "One silver plate weighing a hundred and thirty shekels and one silver sprinkling bowl weighing seventy sheckles....."  The book of Numbers is full of just that....numbers.  I don't like numbers.  They confuse me. But I am learning connections and that is good.

One passage that did stand out to me in Numbers was from Chapter 6, verses 24-26.

"The Lord bless you and keep you;
The Lord make his face shine on you
and be gracious to you;
the Lord turn his face toward you
and give you peace."

As I read in the devotion for this day, I found the focus was on adultery and the punishment for it.  Odd that these verses came at the end, right?  But when I returned to the devotion, the message for ALL of us is that we need to be faithful to our promises (marriage included) and to be faithful in response to God's faithfulness to us.  God wants to bless us with his presence, his face shining on us.  He wants to be gracious to us because he is kind, merciful, forgiving, and full of love.  He gives us peace in the midst of the troubles of life and his protection.  He wants us to keep away from evil (hence the adultery in the previous passages) and the tendency to fall away from him in the process.  We need to be faithful to him in ALL of our relationships. (copied and somewhat paraphrased from the devotional for Day 76).

I can't read those verses, though, without singing them.

"The Lord bless you and keep you.
The Lord make His face to shine upon you.
And give you peace.  (And give you peace)
And give you peace. (And give you peace)
The Lord make His face to shine upon you
And be gracious. And be gracious.
Unto. You.
Ah ah ah men. Ah ah ah men. Ah ah ah men. Ah....ah....men."

(ok..may not be exactly that but similar to what we used to sing at the end of the service in the Mt. Vernon Presbyterian Church)

But also I recall the end of the service each Sunday at St. Mark's Lutheran Church in Medaryville.

I can see Pastor Widiger move to the center of the platform, lift his hands, and speak the words:

"The Lord bless you and keep you.
The Lord make his face to shine upon you.
The Lord be gracious unto you.
And give you peace" (as he made the sign of the cross)

And the organ then began to play and the voices joined in:
"Amen. Amen. Ah, ah, men."

Part of the customs of the church.

Maybe I knew it before and just forgot, but I don't recall that those lines were passages of Scripture, and I definitely don't recall that they were from a book of the Bible which I tried to avoid reading.

But there they were.  Right there.  In Numbers 6:24-26.

I learn something new every day!

Getting Ready to Cruise

Last year we were preparing to take our first cruise, and I have to admit I was very nervous.  I was scared the ship would sink.  I was nervous that I would have "First Cruise" stamped on my forehead and really feel like a rookie.  I was hesitant about stopping in Birmingham to visit people I had never met and staying in New Orleans after the cruise to look around the city.  I was nervous even more about not having something I needed.  Gary tends to be impatient with me if I don't have something immediately in my hand, such as a driver's license or my passport or a confirmation number or a boarding pass.  He is better now than he used to be, but I still panic when I know I need something in my hands to be checked.

 

This year, though, I am looking forward to the cruise more than the last one.  One reason is I know what to expect.  I know what the cabins will be like.  I know what the routine is.

I also am not as worried about things at home.  Last year I was concerned about Mom and Megan's pregnancy and about Owen (and I can't remember what was happening with him, but I know I was concerned).  What if Mom died when we were at sea?  What if Megan had a problem? She was supposed to have one of her first doctor's appointments when we were gone.  Now I am not worried.  Hilary's surgery is over and she is recuperating. Megan's health issues are under control.  Mom is gone.  No worries.  I hope.

So I am ready to relax, have a good time, and be with family.  I am ready to explore the Eastern Caribbean.

One challenge will be to make some good food choices.  I know there will be the tendency to eat more, to try some new things, to sample many of the delicious desserts.  But I can be strong.  I can make wise choices.  Some of the Dotti's ladies have returned from cruises with weight losses, not gains.  I can do that.

I also need to be strong when it comes to my feelings. My feelings can be hurt easily and I need to guard against that happening.  I don't like to gamble so I won't be spending lots of time in the casino and I don't need to feel guilty about it. I don't like to drink to the point of being drunk, so I will not feel guilty about buying the endless drinks card like everyone else is (except Gary).  I can be happy reading a book in the sun lying on a chaise by the pool.  I also need to remember that when people have been drinking that they say things that maybe insensitive.  Let the remarks bounce off.

The to-do list:

new pairs of capris - check!
New tops - check!
new cover-ups - Check!
haircut - check!
mani/pedi - on Tuesday
a trip to Lighthouse  - Saturday
Packing - starting on Sunday
Cash money - Monday
Lanyards - on the table
Clearning pictures off my phone - in progress
Boarding passes  printed - check!
Luggage tags printed - check!

It's One of Those Days

We did have plans for today, but most of them fell through.

Therefore, my day has been unplanned.

Much as I say I like a day when I can just stay at home with no plans, I really don't.

I need routine and a format to follow.  I really do.

My biggest fear when I retired was becoming a slug, sleeping late, going to bed late, sitting around in my jammies all day, not showering, just putting off doing anything and everything.

Fortunately there haven't been too many days like that, but they do happen once in a while.

And I don't like them.

Today is one of them...not planned to be, but it just happened.

Here it is, 12:45 p.m.  I am still in my jammies.   I need to take a shower.  I have been sitting in the recliner, up and moving around at times, but always back to the recliner.

What am I doing while sitting in the recliner?  Nothing.  Just nothing. 

Oh, I check FB every once in a while.  I check in at Dotti's.  I check email.  I am watching television.  But I feel really blah and lifeless and just like I need to sit and let life pass me by.

I don't like it.

What I wanted to do was go to the quilt shop today and check on how to fussy cut the border for Courtney's quilt. I wanted to select and purchase the backing for it.  I wanted to look for batting. My plan was to finish it and take it to Betty's for quilting while we were on the cruise.  Not it may not happen.

Gary said when he came home from taking the car in for an oil change that I should just get ready and go to the quilt shop. But it is in Rossville, and I am not going there today, then driving back home, then returning tomorrow.

We could spend the night, but that is not what I want to do either.  I like to sleep in my own bed and sometimes it is just easier to do that and get up early and travel to whichever house we are going to than to pack things and spend the night and try to do the morning routine in a different bathroom.

So here I sit. 

Still in my jammies.

Still watching Wheel of Fortune.

Still feeling sluggish and not wanting to do anything.

I don't like this.

I guess it is one of those days.

Just Waiting on God's Plan

I really believe in God's timing. What is supposed to happen...will. 

I haven't always been that patient.  Most of the time I am not patient at all.

But in the past few years I have really tried to exercise the virtue of patience and trust the Lord to open and close the doors as needed.

What now?  Moving.

We have lived in our house for 41 plus years and really like it.  Just about every room has been painted, remodeled, re-floored, updated.  There have been new windows, new roof, new siding, and the addition of a sunroom.

Landscaping has changed with the addition of landscape timbers, transplanted plants, new vegetation added, bricks carried for a new patio and walkway to it, a flagpole set on the circle close to two new flowering pear trees, and a fire ring in the backyard.

So why would we even consider a move?

Because Hilary, Blaine, and the kids live an hour's drive south and Megan, Matt, and the kids live 20 minutes further south from that. 

Once again..why consider a move? 

Because we drive that route several times each week.

Often we leave the house around 7 and don't return until late in the evening.

Just this past week we were at one of their houses or the other or both for 4 of the 7 days and in Lafayette another day as well.  Moving would eliminate lots of travel time,  add some sleeping time, and allow us to spend more time at home rather than on the road.

Problems?  Maybe that is not the right word....maybe concerns would be better.

Why move when we are comfortable here?

Why move when our house and ground here are paid for?

Why leave a place where we are comfortable and have friends that we can call for help if needed?

Why uproot ourselves and start over again with a new utility service, heating, phone, internet service?

Plus what type of house would we want?  One floor?  New?  Older with character?  AC?  How many bathrooms?  A garage?  Outbuildings? Larger kitchen?  More closet space?

Then there is the location.  A perfect location would be one between the two houses, but that is hard to find. It would be pointless to move to an area where the drive to either house is more than 15-20 minutes.  A shorter drive than 30 minutes to Lafayette would definitely be a plus as well.

We have thought we found a few places to consider.   One with a Cutler address had no garage and no outbuildings.  No place to store anything.  Like a mower.  Like yard tools.  Like anything.
 One was prefectly located a few miles south of Pyrmont, but it was too expensive.

Another one was located just northwest of Pyrmont with an easy drive to the Mulberry-Jeff, in the country with an outbuilding, but before we could go to see it, it was sold.

Another one looks perfect, the pictures are great (especially the seat in the walk-in shower), there is land and two outbuildings, but it is a 30 minutes drive to Hilary's and even more to Megan's. It is closer to Logansport than to Lafayette.

Yet another house was perfect---but in Monticello.  Why move only 20 minutes from home?  Kinda defeats the purpose.

So the quest continues.  As I said before, I firmly believe that if we are to move, a house that we really like, in the perfect location, for the right amount of money will drop into our laps and a buyer will appear for our house and land too.

Until then....just happy to be here in our home.  I am also happy that Gary doesn't mind driving at all hours of the day and night while I sleep in the car!

He's Such a Sweetie!

Owen has had some changes in his life lately.

He isn't the baby in the family anymore.

His curiosity about Lynnlee has transformed into love for her.  Often he will come to her, look at her with love in his eyes, and smile his little toothy grin.   She responds by cooing and laughing and bouncing in her seat or kicking her legs while she is lying on the mat and waving her arms around.  He likes to reach out and touch her hand, then look at me and smile.  I am sure as she grows and begins to move around more freely, they will become buddies.

Owen has always been quiet, and I foresee his being a thoughtful man, just like his Grandpa Norm.  He will take it all in, listen closely, and think before he speaks.  Then what he says will have more meaning.  Grandpa Norm said there was nothing worse than listening to someone talk who said nothing (uhh....maybe from listening to exactly that day after day?), and that when HE said something, he wanted it to be meaningful.  No filling the air with meaningless chatter for him!  Owen will be like that. 

Because he already is.  He may be watching the television or sitting at the dining room table or watching Landon and Tessa and Cooper interacting, totally quiet. We may be asking him questions or trying to encourage him to respond to us and he just looks at us and smiles.  But then, when he wants to say something, out the words come!

Case in point...the other day Owen and Cooper were in the living room at Hilary's house.  We had been in and out and I had been talking to the kids and talking to her, the general interactions we usually have.  As I left the living room to go to the hallway, I heard a little voice say, "MAMAW!  MAMAW!"  I stopped.  I didn't recognize the voice at first.  At the same time Cooper yelled at me "MAMAW!  OWEN WANTS YOU!" I realized that it was HIS voice I had heard.

And he said Mamaw.  Clearly.  Now that wasn't the first time I had heard him say that, but it was music to my ears.  It melted my heart.  I smiled. I had tears in my eyes.

Yesterday when we were loading furniture and boxes for Amanda's move to her apartment, Owen was running around.  He played with Cooper some, but Shelby was in charge of watching him.  At times he came running to me, wanting me to pick him up.  When I was outside, he came running down the ramp to me, then once he knew I saw him, off he ran across the yard, to the machine shed, and wherever his little legs could take him.  He always looked over his shoulder to see where I was.  I finally had to enlist Cooper to chase him, tackle him, and keep a hold on him for me. Of course, Owen thought it was all great fun to be running from me and to be chased by his cousin.

I look at him and think about how lucky he is.  His life could have been so much different than the one he has now.  His birth mother was a drug addict.  His birth father is irresponsible.  His father didn't even show up for the final visits when termination of parental rights happened.  There were bedbugs carried from their home.  His birth mother brought raggy clothes for him to wear and tried to steal the clothes and shoes he was wearing.  Both of them were dirty and at times homeless.  What kind of life would Owen have had with them?

But then I look at the real blessings.  WE are the blessed ones.  We are so fortunate to have this special little guy as our grandson.  We can watch him grow and learn. We can enjoy taking him to the zoo, watching him play with his siblings and his cousins, seeing him shine as he learns more and more.

But right now, he melts my heart.  With his toothy little grin, his sidelong look to check on my location, and his little legs that takes him running away so he can be chased...he just melts my heart.

But when he says "MAMAW!" is the very best.  I love you, Owen!

When Will I Learn?

For three weeks I have been sneezing, blowing my nose, coughing, aching, more sneezling, more coughing, more blowing my nose.

Every time I think it is nearly over, another wave hits. 

Stubborn Beth has been at work too.  Even though Gary has been telling me over and over that I need to go to Urgent Care, I have refused.  Mucinex.  Claritin.  Mucinex Cough Medicine.  Another type of cough medicine.  Cough drops (which I despise).

On Wednesday when I went with Hilary to her doctor's appointment, I sucked on 11 cough drops, one after the other. I know. I counted the empty wrappers when I removed them from my purse this morning.

Finally on Friday I gave in.  When I got out of the shower, Gary said "So.  Are you ready to go to Urgent Care now? You can't go on the cruise if you are sick."  So off we went to Lafayette.  Again.  Only this time to the southwest side of town.

Since I was coughing, I had to wear a mask to prevent others from catching any of my germs.  The waiting room was full of people (and oh my....the types of  mismatched apparel and the lack of personal hygiene was apparent in many of them).   When I was finally called back after waiting for 45 minutes, the nurse checked my chart, nodded, and seemed to understand that this is a normal thing for me.  Just about every time I visit Urgent Care it is for the same reason.  Bronchitis.

When the doctor came in to see me, he told me it was nice to see me again.  He had treated me the last time I had bronchitis.  The medication was the same - antibiotic plus two different cough treatments, one tablet and one syrup with codeine.

Two good things happened during the visit to UC , other than the meds to make me better.

One was losing 10 pounds.

The other was the BP reading.  118/84.  Terrific!  Now if only Dr. O and Dr. Hart could see that number!

On the road to recovery, I think. 

And the next time this happens, I will go to Urgent Care as soon as I feel sick.

Maybe.