Anxious for Nothing - Part 1

The next OBS with Proverbs 31 is a Max Lucado book, Anxious for Nothing.  I bombed on the last OBS, just couldn't get into it at all, so I was hesitant to try this one, even though it was short.  Then I realized that it is based on one of my favorite books in the Bible, Philippians.  Next it hit me that the focus was the passage that Jim wrote down on a slip of paper for me about 17 years ago...Philippians 4:4-8.  Now if THAT isn't a definite invitation from God to join in this study, I don't know what is!

 


I ordered the book. It was delivered a few days later.  I began reading it a couple of days ago.  

But there is a problem.  The little group that we formed a few OBS studies ago consisted of four of us who met in a FB group but who were also unhappy with the leadership of the group and the lack of discussion.  We studied a few books together, successfully, then there was a gap of time, then a new study that really didn't appeal to me that much, so two of the ladies joined other FB groups and really enjoyed them.  Now they are focusing on those groups and have decided to abandon the one we created together.  That is fine.  Everyone is different and needs to find a place where she will fit and feel comfortable.  I understand that.

For now I am going it alone.  The study hasn't actually started yet - Monday, November 6 is the opening date.  But I have been reading the book, and I really like it.

The title of Chapter 1 was very appropriate - "Less Fret, More Faith"

Fret.   That is me.  I fret.  I fuss.  I worry.  I do have faith, but it flits around so much and I am often discouraged.  I get down on myself. I feel like I am a failure.  I know I am doomed.  I liked this chapter because it dispelled those last four sentences.  Faith.  That is where it's at.

First section - focus is on "Celebrate God's Goodness"

Each of the three chapters hit upon  how we 'rejoice' in the Lord.

Chapter 2 - Rejoice in the Lord's Sovereighty - You can't run the world, but you can entrust it to God.   I like this chapter because there is a great discussion of anxiety.  One of my favorite lines was this:  "Perceived control creates calm.  Lack of control gives birth to fear" (p. 23).  Well, yes.  When I feel like I am in control, I am more relaxed and easy-going.  But when I feel like I am losing control, then I become agitated and scared.  I lash out.  My temper grows short.  What I need to remember is that even if I feel like I don't have control, God does.  There is no reason to be scared because God has it! 

Chapter 3 - Rejoice in the Lord's Mercy - Guilt frenzies the soul.  Grace calms it.
This chapter was a good one also because sometimes I feel guilty about things that I have done, or haven't done, or should have done but didn't.   As I read through the chapter, I felt like there was a need for me to  resolve my guilt because if I didn't, I would remain a 'miserable, weary, angry, stressed out, fretful mess' (p. 40).  The more I read, though, the more I remembered that Christ died for MY sins, that I can't condemn myself forever.  I must move on.  As Max stated on page 45, "Don't drown in the bilge of your condemnation.  Your future matters more than your pat.  God's grace is greater than your sin.  My salvation has nothing to do with my work and eerything to do with the finished work of Christ on the cross."

Chapter 4 - Rejoice in the Lord Always - God uses everything to accomplish his will. And the key word there is always.  Max used several examples to explain his point that God has an overall plan and that sometimes things we do not understand happen, things that we feel are bad or difficult for us to comprehend or to endure.  God does have a plan, an overall plan.  For instance, I never understood why Deb had to die when she did, leaving behind three daughters who needed her, and a husband who was lost without her.  Both grandmothers had died and even though there were several aunts, it was hard for them to accept the lack of a maternal presence in their lives. I still don't understand (and why should I?  It was GOD's plan, not mine.), but I do know that Becky and Eric are now married and they needed each other.  The girls are married and Abbie and Kacie are happy with their own families.  Hallie moved to her husband's community to build a life with him, which was probably the best thing she could do to grow as a person and as a wife.  The point is that God is ALWAYS there, He is ALWAYS with us, and He will NEVER desert us.  Not ever.

I am ready to read the next section - "Ask God for Help:  Let your requests be made known to God."  A focus on prayer?  Perhaps.  Good reading ahead!

Four Checkmarks

After a late start and putting together a casserole for lunch (leftovers for dinner), I finally started on my "Preparation for Thanksgiving" list.

The Amish Cabinet by the garage door - cleaning this out was an easy process.  Some things had made their way to the back and needed to be pitched.  Some consolidation of tea bags, lemonade packets, and individual additives for bottles of water eliminated some of the boxes.

Another task was going through some of my recipe boxes and pitching some of the recipes that I never use, that were pulled from magazines, or just didn't work for us helping me to add a broken recipe box to the trash bag too.

The good news was that I cleared up enough room in the cabinet to give some space to various cups that had been making their homes on top of the refrigerator.  It will be easier to find cups for the little kids now since they are on the lower shelves of that cabinet.

Next step was removing all of the refrigerator art from the front and side and cleaning those two surfaces, then adding the older pictures to the photo box, pitching old items (Landon's baseball schedule and Blaine's work schedule from 2015), then rearranging everything.  Gary helped with removing the accumulation from the top of the fridge and finding new homes for some items.

While I was in the process of working on the fridge, I sprayed the interior of the stove with oven cleaner and let it work.  Removing all of that was an intense chore, one that I really dislike, but the oven looks much better and is ready for more baking and meal preparation.

The final task was the top drawer of the hutch.  More pitching of things, moving pens and notepads to the icebox, sorting through manuals that came with small appliances and determining whether we still used them or not.  By the end the drawer was more organized, there is some extra room, and it is much easier to open and close.

That is all.  Not bad for just a half-day.  I forgot...I went through a photo album from Mom's and pulled out pictures that had no meaning for any of us.  The Wooly Bear Festival, Algonquin, pictures of covered bridges, pictures of singers at the Carnation Festival.  No one we knew.  Nothing to hold onto for memories because there were no memories triggered from any of it.  I had quite a pile of pictures to toss in the trash bag by the time I was finished with that album. There were some neat Christmas pictures, pictures of the girls when they were showing cattle, pictures from our camping trip to Lincoln State Park.  I also enjoyed the pictures of Auntie Mae and Uncle Bud's 66th birthday, especially since I am now 66 too.

Maybe not much progress today, but enough to make a start.  As Gary always says, I can't do it in one day, nor would I want to.  But I can chip away at the list and eventually be happy with the end results.

Getting Excited about my Favorite Holiday

No secret at all.  Thanksgiving is my very favorite holiday.

Now, yes. I do like the holiday season and the lights, the merriment, the decorations (not the act of decorating though) and the music. I like the looks on the faces of the kids---and the adults---when they open their gifts.  I especially enjoy the "Reason for the Season."  But I digress.  Christmas is not my focus.

THANKSGIVING!

Some Thanksgivings in the past have been not too cheery or have not met my expectations for My Favorite Holiday. 

Three years ago.  I was recovering from unexpected knee replacement repair surgery, then shingles on top of that.  I was so tired and worn out that year that I don't really remember too much about the day.

Two years ago.  I had been diagnosed with pneumonia and the big family dinner had to be moved from our house to Gary's folks.  Gary did so much of the cooking that year.  I spent the day in the recliner.  He brought me a plate of food.  Clay came to visit.

One year ago.  Agnes had just died two weeks before.  We were still in the fresh stages of grief of losing her but also of losing Leo a few months earlier. The dinner was moved to their house for one last time of gathering together there.

Now we come to 2017. 

Since last year, Mom died also.  That means that for Greta and Kent, there will be no Bob Evans meal to order, pick up, take to Wooster to eat on small plates, and leave the leftovers for Mom to pick through.  That also means that Greta and Kent can join the Siemens crew for the holiday in Indiana!

We finished harvest in 1 1/2 days two weeks ago, so there will be no interruptions with equipment breakdowns or fields to finish or grain to haul in or equipment to move.  All of that is finished.

Our calendar has been a little less busy right now since Landon's ball games are over and wrestling hasn't started yet.  Lynnlee has been born so we can go to visit her and not think about carving out days to visit her and her mommy in the hospital or plan to have Cooper stay with us.

On Saturday when everyone was here, the girls (mainly Megan) and I planned the Thanksgiving menu, assigned food items for others to bring, and began to plan.

Last week when Gary and I were in Nashville, my purchases revolved around decorating for the Thanksgiving holiday.

Tonight's grocery shopping list included the items for a trial run of Mom's stuffing recipe plus some other items I know I will need and  that I can purchase ahead of time and store.

This week will find me in the kitchen, beginning to clean some things in preparation - the oven, the fridge, the hutch, the Amish cabinet, the top of the fridge, the front and side of the fridge.  Gary is going to work on the laundry room and we need to go through more boxes in the sunroom so it can be used on Thanksgiving also.

Usually I have a feeling of dread for the prep work.  Why?  I am usually up to my elbows in grading.  And while I am teaching the Trine class, the workload is not nearly as great as teaching five classes and having to be on top of everything so they can work on the next steps of their research papers.  No more weekly discussion groups for American lit either.  The load has been lightened.

I am getting excited. It will be fun to have Greta and Kent here with us.  It will be Lynnlee's first Thanksgiving.  It will be the start of the Christmas season. 

We have so much to be thankful for this year. So much. And I intend to enjoy every minute of the celebration!

Definitely inappropriate? Rude too?

Yesterday we took Cooper with us while his mommy, daddy, and little sister went to the doctor.  After we returned two pairs of jeans that were too tight around my knees to Kohls, we decided to walk down to my jewelry store for a rings cleaning.  I had noticed earlier in the week that my engagement ring had gunky stuff around it, stuck around the stones and in the crevices.  

We walked into the jewelry store and were met by a friendly customer service person.  First she took my rings and checked them with the magnifier to be sure the stones were secure.  We checked out the rings in the case - big sale going on -- and Cooper sat in one of the chairs in front of the display case.  

After she placed the rings in the cleaner, she returned to us and explained the sales that were happening, just in time for the holidays.  I noticed that Gary's attention was drifting...naturally!  We weren't in the market for a new ring, plus it was more interesting to watch the other shoppers walking past the store.

After her talk, she focused her attention on Cooper and asked him how he was doing and just general conversation with a 4 year old.  I asked him if he could tell her about the new person at his house and he said "I have a new baby sister."

Usual responses - "How sweet!  What is her name?  She is very tiny, isn't she?  Are you a good big brother?"  He was wearing his BIG BRO shirt too so he showed her that and she commented.

Then the conversation changed.

She said, "Your baby sister came out of your mommy's tummy, didn't she?"

Cooper just looked at her.  He nodded meekly.

She said, "She came out of your mommy's tummy, just like you did." 

Cooper just looked at her.  He nodded meekly.

I wanted to say to something...words escaped me right them.  I was hoping the rings would finish and we could get out of there.  I looked at Gary, and he was still watching shoppers.

She said, "You probably don't remember what it was like when you came out of your mommy's tummy, do you?"

Cooper just looked at her.  He shook his head.

She said, "Of course not.  You were just too little to remember that and your sister probably won't remember that either. OH!  The rings are done!"

She cleaned off the rings.  She put them under the dryer.  She inspected both of them.  She re-did my engagement ring because it still had a little bit of the gunk on it.

No more talk about childbirth.

She returned my rings. I thanked her.  She told Cooper to enjoy his little sister and be a good big brother.  We left.

Later I mentioned it to Gary and he said he kinda heard what she was talking about but really didn't pay too much attention.

First of all...Cooper is 4.  Yes, he knew that Lynnlee was in Mommy's tummy but discussing it with a sales clerk in a jewelry store seemed to be quite inappropriate to me.  How did she know how much he knew or didn't know about the childbirth process?  It should be his parents' decision about the details to tell him...or not.  And to ask him if he remembered what it was like to be in his mommy's tummy or to come out? Ewwwwww....why would anyone ask that?

Second of all.....what if this had been two years ago.  What if Tessa had been with us?  What if she said she had a new baby brother because Owen had come to live with them? What if the clerk had asked the same questions of her?

Actually I could have handled that situation better than I did with Cooper.  I know that if I tell anyone about this, I will be hearing "Well, I would have just said....." or "I would have stopped her immediately and said ...."  Honestly, in retrospect I probably would have also. But I was so stunned by her questions and comments that nothing came to my mind to say at that moment.

I still think it was inappropriate and rude. 

That Was Fun!

Tonight was the first ENG 113 class, and I loved it!

8 seated students

8 students taking the class online/by camera

Relaxed atmosphere

It felt so good to be back in front of a class again.

There were a few tech glitches, like...I forgot to 'share the screen' until AFTER the powerpoint was explained.  Oops!  One of the students gently suggested that the other students might be able to see it a little better if I shared my screen with them.  I completely forgot about doing that!

There Moodle completely stopped just as we were starting the Discussion Board.  But it came back again.  Whew!

I jokingly told them when I was talking about planning and organization and jotting things down on paper that I had a list (and I held it up) of things we needed to accomplish tonight and that when we were to the bottom of the list, we were done.  Well, at 8:30, i was at the end of the list.  We reviewed once again the assignment for next week, and that was it.  We left.  I was home early!

Now I know it won't be that way each night, but it was a good way to start!

Plus my fear about walking out to the car alone?  Not gonna happen.  One of the male students said it was his responsibility to be sure we were all to our cars safely.  A small group stayed, chatting, while I turned off the tech stuff, turned off the lights, and we went out the door together and to our cars.

I just really enjoyed teaching tonight and I am looking forward to the rest of the class.  

Now if I can just figure out how to grade the discussion boards like Lori showed me on Monday........ 

 
 

NIce, Lazy, but Productive Day

It's good to have a day to just piddle around and do those small things that seem to pile up, isn't it?

We cancelled the house cleaning for today.  It's time for washing windows and the curtains, but the rain is still around, so we decided to forego this week's cleaning.  We didn't want to leave early anyway, and we never stay here while Sarah and Amy are cleaning.

So it was a sleep in later than usual type of morning.  

Easy breakfast.  

I paid bills and addressed too many sympathy cards.  

Gary called Abe Martin Lodge and booked a room for Thursday night.  

He just folded towels and is working on laundry. Scrubbing out the bathtub is also on the schedule.

Ham and beans are in the crockpot. 

Not sure what I want to do.  The plan was to work on cleaning our bedroom, pitching trash, putting clothes I don't wear anymore into the Goodwill bag, cleaning off the dresser. Sweeping and dusting.  That room is one we use each and every day but I neglect cleaning it.

But I also want to put the binding on Lynnlee's baby quilt.  

So I am not sure which direction I will go with the rest of the day.

Reading my book sounds good too....

One thing I do know is that these types of days are few and far between, which is somewhat of a good thing.  We like to be busy.  We enjoy being with the kids and working on projects.  But sometimes it is just nice to be home.  

Right?

 

Ready to Begin a New Adventure

The second part of the fall semester at Trine begins this week.  My first ENG 113 class is Wednesday night.

I have to admit that there were a few times the thought of "Why did I ever agree to do this?" did cross my mind.  Thursday in particular.  Nothing was working right.  The desktop computer.  The flash drives.  The word documents.  The powerpoints.  I couldn't figure out Moodle at all.  

Then everything fell into place.  My laptop miraculously began to work when we took it to DeGroots to be fixed.  She said it had probably been updating which sometimes takes a LONG time to do and locks up everything while it is in the process.   Barb agreed to give me a crash course in Moodle.  I was able to revise the powerpoints and reading assignments.  I added in the 'plans for the class session' to each of the dates.  I can add in the particulars later. I like to do that anyway because it is then fresh in my mind. If I add everything too soon, then I forget or I second guess myself. 

All of the 'plans' are in and the first week is ready.  The second week will be ready tomorrow.  I need to know how to hide assignments before I add any more of them.

I won't be there alone so I won't be as worried about strange sounds or extra people coming in. Another class is meeting at the same time.

Tomorrow I am going in with my list of questions, my signed contract, and to learn how to make myself visible to the online students and how to 'share my screen' with them.

I know I have a tendency to complain (and those who read this who know me may be shaking their heads firmly in agreement).  But I want to stay positive about this course.  It will give me a chance to be in the classroom again,  a place where I feel very comfortable.  It will give me the chance to help others improve their writing skills, which is very important as they pursue their careers.  It will also give me a weekly focus that is just for me---not focused on family. I love my family, but sometimes I need to just focus on something for myself.  Teaching is that for me.  

So I am ready for the new adventure.  I hope it will be a fun experience.  I have no concerns about whether I am doing well or not, whether they like me or not, whether I will be asked back again, because I am looking at this as a 'one shot deal.'  This semester.  Some extra money.  New faces.  New experiences. 

It will be fun!

Focus on the Good Things

Focus on the Good Things

That's the best way to describe the last few weeks.

#1 - A new baby granddaughter.  What can be better than a healthy baby girl, brought into this world on a sunny Wednesday morning.  Loving parents.  Proud grandparents.  Auntie with camera in hand to capture the moments.  Not-sure-how-to-act new big brother.  Cousin who wants to hold the baby. Just joy.  Pure joy.

 


#2 - Harvest.  Sunshine. Blue skies.  Gary in the combine with Landon.  Tessa in the combine for a couple of rounds but mostly in the truck with Daddy.  Blaine hauling the corn to town, one truck after another as Gary made his way through the fields.  Owen with Hilary and me, wanting to take his turn riding in the cab of the combine with Papaw.  The kids finding treats at the elevator - popcorn, apples, suckers from Vanessa.  No equipment breakdowns.  A day and a half and the harvest was done.  Best yield from that field - ever.  170 bushels an acre.

 

#3 - Time with the kiddos   Two weeks ago Landon, Tessa, and Owen spent the weekend with us.  It was a hectic weekend, one that found Papaw and Landon in the camper, Hilary doing a photo shoot in the Region, a dead raccoon in the backyard, and not much sleep for many of us.  But it was fun.  Then last weekend Cooper stayed with us while Mommy, Daddy, and Lynnlee were in the hospital.  We went to Shelby and Caleb's wedding and he made a new friend.  This weekend we spent one-on-one time with Owen while Hilary, Blaine, and the older kids went to Great Wolf Lodge near Cincinnati.  Watching Owen in his house is a plus because he has HIS toys and can nap in HIS bed, plus he knows HIS house and doesn't have to explore every nook and cranny of ours. We often say that we spend SO much time on the road and either in Pyrmont or near Frankfort, but we wouldn't trade this time with them for anything.  Memories are being made for them and for us.  Later on we want them to remember fun times with Mamaw and Papaw rather than just think of us as people who stopped by once in a while or just gave them gifts for their birthdays and Christmas.  Precious time - wondeful memories.







 

#4 - Knees   I wrote about my knee issues in another post. When I saw Dr. Page a week ago he didn't think there was anything wrong with my knee replacement (THANK YOU, GOD!).  He dismissed my suggestion that it might be gout.  He thought I had bruised the bursa or pulled some muscles, somehow injuring the area above the knee.  A prescription for antibiotic, just in case there was infection somewhere, and three x-rays, plus much poking, prodding, and pushing, plus inserting a needle to remove fluid.  He said "Give it some time and it will get better. Do the exercises on this sheet and it will get better."  In the meantime I could barely climb the stairs to the church where Shelby and Caleb were married.  I couldn't get up from the table at the reception without Gary pulling me.  And I was nearly stuck in a stall in the women's bathroom because I couldn't push myself up with my sore and weak knees. But miraculously on Sunday morning I could get out of bed without pain shooting up my leg.  By Monday I could roll over in bed and use the bathroom more easily.  By Tuesday I was using both feet to push myself up the stairs.  And by today, the pain is nearly gone, but while the strength isn't totally back, but it is returning slowly.  I am sitting at the table in Hilary's kitchen, on a pub chair swinging my legs, and it doesn't hurt!

#5 - Closing on the house at 1330 Barnes Drive   Yes, it is not ours anymore.  When we left there on September 13, I had a feeling that it was the last time I would be in that house.  I locked the door, got into the car, and we pulled out of the drive.  I didn't look back.  It didn't really hit me until we were nearly to Niagara Falls later that day that it was probably the last time I would be there as the owner, or even as a house that was part of our family history.  The new owners will put life back into that house.  There will be children living there for the first time in over 45 years.  The bus will stop and pick up those girls for school.  There will be birthday parties and Christmas trees in the front window.  The lights will be on and the windows will be open.  Flowers will bloom there again and cars will come and go.  Mail will fill the mailbox.  The sound of  laughter and love will flow out of the windows and doors and into the backyard.  This makes me happy.

 

#6 - Gary  The love of my life. My partner for 42 years.  The one I share my home with, the father of my children, the Papaw of our grandchildren.  He loves me, and I love him - more than he could ever know.  He takes such good care of me and our family.  From providing for us through the years to the daily chores, he does his part and more.  Laundry?  He takes care of the washer, the dryer, hanging up the clothes, and folding.  Cooking?  He has his favorites that he makes, but he never fusses about putting together a meal.  Dishes? Washing dishes is part of his routine.  Feeding the cats.  Taking the mail to the mailbox. Taking care of the vehicles.   Plus he is my favorite farmer.  Just watching him out in the field makes my heart swell.  He loves being outdoors. He likes the harvest.  Even if he says he doesn't miss any of it, every time we are driving back and forth to Pyrmont or Frankfort or even driving to church or to Krogers, he comments on the state of the crops, whether someone has been in the field or not, or how one particular field looks over another. Farming is part of him and always will be, just like teaching is part of me and always will be.

 

which brings me to.....

#7 Teaching for Trine   I did jump into this adventure and there have been a few bumps in the road so far, even though the class hasn't started yet, but I am determined to enjoy teaching this class. Why not?  I love to teach. I am not teaching anything I haven't taught before. I have all of the materials - I just need to adjust them a little.  The pay is good, I am doing something I enjoy, and I will feel like I have a purpose again (and I know I do have a purpose but this is different).  It is probably going to be a One Shot Deal, but I want to have fun with it and not take it too seriously.

And with that...I have focused on the Good Things.  No grumbling.  No complaining.  No Negative Nellie.  Just the good.

When the "Good Knee" Becomes the "Bad Knee"

Or is it the "old knee" and the "new knee"?

Whatever.

About six-seven years ago I bit the bullet and agreed to knee replacement on my right leg.  It was necessary.  Bone again bone.  Cartilage nearly gone.  Pain when I walked.

You've seen the 'mall walkers' - you know, those retired people who walk around the mall for steps and exercise?  Well, they were walking faster than I was.  Sprinting, compared to me.

So I agreed.  The surgery was set for the beginning of May, then in the pre-op session the AFib was discovered and the surgery was delayed over a month while I underwent a cardioversion, my heart slipped out of rhythm again, and we decided to just control it as best we could with medication.

All was well.  Surgery at the end of June.  Therapy.  Back to work mid-August.  I even hid the surgery from Mom since she fell during that time, bruised her hip, and was in Smithville-Western for several weeks.

A few years later when we were boarding the plane for the return trip from spending a week in Orlando with Megan, Matt, and Cooper, something popped in my new knee as I slid into the window seat from the aisle.  Dr. Page finally correctly diagnosed the problem after several weeks of guessing and specuation.  The metal piece in the middle of the new knee had popped out---something that rarely happens. I was one of the lucky ones!  Right!  So another surgery in 2014 which caused me to miss my first few weeks of classes and which was followed by shingles.  What a fall semester!

After that, however, all was good. Occasionally my knees would hurt...or tire...or ache...or be overworked.  Usually that occured after lots of walking (such as at Disney in 2016) or working in the yard all day or standing all day at the auction in August.  But usually a good rest and some Tylenol and I would be great for the next adventure.

Every time I complained about my knees or winced about some pain, Gary would always ask 'Old knee or new knee?'  Usually it would be the old knee that would be giving me trouble, and I anticipated another knee replacement at some point for that one.

During the past few weeks, though, something different happened.  My 'old knee' was not working properly and would hurt at strange times. Then the 'new knee' started to ache also.  I thought that was kind of strange, very unusual, especially since there was no unusual stress on either leg at the time.  No intense walking. No fairs.  No airplanes to board.  Just normal activities.

Then it happened.  One evening I turned my leg to do something, I think I was even sitting in the recliner and reaching for something, and I felt a crunch, something similar to the feeling that would happen when one stepped on a pile of potato chips on the floor.  My knee crunched.  Not on the spot where the incision was.  Not in the area of the knee replacements as I remember it, but up on the top toward the inside area of my knee.

Now I may be 'babying' the knee, but it does hurt when I try to bear weight on it to climb or descend steps.  It does hurt when I try to rise or sit at the table.  It does hurt when I try to enter or exit the car.  Depending on the height of the toilet, it does hurt when....well, you get the idea.

Walking is fine.  Sitting is fine.  No pain at all.  Except when I try to stand up.  Or when I try to bear weight on it to walk up the steps on Hilary's porch to her front door.  Or when I try to go down the steps at Megan's house.

The funny thing is....(and it really isn't funny --ha ha) that the 'bad knee' is now the one that doesn't hurt, but there is no strength in it,  and the 'good knee' is very painful and swollen.

What to do?

Tonight will be a Tylenol night. I might even put some Icy Hot or something like that on it before I go to bed.

But the next step will be a call, then a visit to Dr. Page.

I DO NOT want to have surgery again on that knee.  I DO NOT!  But as Hilary and Gary have told me, I don't know what is wrong and I don't know what the remedy will be until I see him.

Just pray for the best.

What is happening?

The focus of my blog is not anything which can be debated or that can spark controversy.  I don't like to argue, period.  I don't like to discuss politics.  However, the events of e past few weeks have affected my heart and my mind.

First, national disasters,  Hurricanes. . Earthquakes.  People need help.  Assistance should be given quickly and continually, not just in the first few hours after it occurs.  The after effects are long term and can't be repaired in just a few days or even a few weeks. Instead of bickering about who did what or how this or that didn't happen as it should, exert the effort to make it better. Also reserve expressing opinions unless all the facts are known.

Second, taking a knee.  My father, my grandfather, and my uncles were all veterans.  I was taught to respect the flag, the pledge, and the National Anthem.  No matter up what happens in our country or to it, that flag is a symbol of our strength. Drive around the statue of Iwo Jima in Washington DC.  Watch the Olympis gold medalists with tears in their eyes as they stand proud for our National Anthem.  Look at a flag-draped coffin returning from current battles.  Watch as the flag is folded from the casket of a veteran and presented to the family at the graveside. Listen as voices join together prior to a high school basketball game as everyone stands facing the flag to honor our country and freedoms we have to learn, to participate in athletic events, to sit and converse with friends and neighbors, and to cheer on our favorite teams at a high school event.  As much as I try to understand the reasons why "taking a knee" during the National Anthem is a peaceful protest for injustices suffered by others in our country, all I see is disrespect for our flag, our anthem, our country, and our veterans, including my dad.  I just can't get around that.

Third, random shootings.  And it's not just shootings, it is fear to be alone in a parking lot.  It is fear when walking down a street in a big city.  It is the need for double locked doors and security clearance to enter a school.  It is needing a special tag to pick up a child from pre-school.  It is the hesitation to even take a walk down the road on a warm fall evening without mace for protection.  What has happened to us that human life has little to no value for so many people?

As I said, I don't debate.  I don't want to discuss. My feelings are my own and that is just the way it is.    Usually my posts are family oriented or celebrate milestones or events in y life, but with the recent happenings in our country, a more serious post seemed appropriate.

New Day! New Week! New Month!

Most of the time I like to flip the calendar over to a new month.  

There is something about the freshness of that blank page, new dates, a new beginning. I know it may be just silly, because one day does blend into another, but it is special to me.

October is a fall month.  Now fall is not my favorite season at all.  I used to dread flipping the calendar to September because it meant the start of school and the loss of summer.  Now that is insignificant, really, because schools are beginning in August, I don't have to start school anymore, and fall has taken on a different meaning for me.

Back to this month.

October.

Falling leaves. Ugh.  I don't like them either.  While living in the middle of a small woods is great, lots of shade, breezes blowing in the windows, natural air-conditioning....I dislike raking leaves.  Now, hearing the crunch of leaves is good.  Observation of changing colors, Mother Nature wielding her paintbrush across the horizon, all good too.  Even the aroma of burning leaves and roasting hot dogs or marshmallows over the fire is fun.  The girls or now the kids running and jumping into piles of leaves have created lots of memories.

But I still don't like to rake leaves.  Ugh.  Again.

I do, however, like the cooler temperatures. I am more of a jeans and sweaters and boots type of person than shorts, sleeveless tops, and flip flops.  I like wearing boots.  I enjoy jeans (one of the perks of retirement actually).  Sweaters and long sweatshirts are cozy.  For the change in wardrobe, I like fall!

Better sleeping weather is a plus also. I sleep so much better covered up with a nice warm quilt or a soft fuzzy blanket.  Recently during the heat wave of a few weeks ago I was waking up soaked with sweat and it wasn't pleasant.  Just give me a few blankets to cuddle under and I will be dozing off in no time.  Afternoon naps are much better in the fall and winter also.

But back to the title of this post....Newness.  I like mornings and new days.  I enjoy new weeks, even when I was teaching because it was a fresh start with new goals to accomplish as we worked out way through the curriculum.

And I like the possibilities of a new month.  This month will be very special for our family because our newest member will be added.  Lynnlee Elizabeth Scott will be born something in the middle of the month.  Another birthday to celebrate in October!  How exciting is that!

New day - make the most of each one of them, from beginning to end.

New week - endless possibilities starting with Sunday

New month - each one is different and each one is special.  Fall is not my favorite season, but it does have some good points which I am learning to appreciate.

Make this day, this week, this month the best!  October 2017 will never return so enjoy it while it lasts!