Feeling the Power

Two ingredients for feeling more healthy?

Sleep.

Exercise.

You would think that sleep would be easier for me now that I usually don't have an alarm to set each morning and no papers to grade at night.  But it isn't.  Often I awaken in the middle of the night, then my mind starts working, and the return to sleep eludes me.  Last night, however, I went to bed earlier than usual, fell asleep fast, and slept until 7 this morning.  I feel much better, more rested, and more energized.

Exercise  I am not one to join a gym or use a treadmill.  We have a recumbent bike usptairs that is being used for a clothes tree.  The kids like riding it when they come to visit.  I don't enjoy just sitting there and using it.  But I know that weight loss is easier with some kind of exercise, plus I always feel so much better.

Solution?  Walking with Leslie. I have several Leslie Sansone DVDs and they have come in handy lately.  The easy 2-mile walk is the one I started with.  Just some walking, kicks, side-steps, and kickbacks.  Two miles.  30 minutes.

 



 After a week of that, Gary suggested that I 'kick it up a notch' which is what I had planned to do anyway.  So I dug out the 3 mile walk.  More walking, kids, side-steps, and kickbacks, but she adds twists to those basic steps.  Bursts.  8-count forward and back runs.  Grapevine with the side steps.  Mambo.  Combos of kicks and knee lifts.  Crunches and kicks.  I can feel the sweat on this one.  I feel more energized after I finish.



Two weeks ago?  Walking two miles six days.

Last week?  Walking three miles on four days, two miles one day.

This week?  Monday and Tuesday checked off on walking three miles.

Leslie stresses the benefits of walking, of movement, of full body workouts:

• stress reduction
• strengthening muscles
• diet + exercise = weight loss (one can't do it without the other)
• good heart health
• more energy

All of these keep me going.   Winter is the time of year that one can become lethargic.  While curling up in the recliner to read or watch television is good, it does nothing for building muscles and sustaining energy.

What to do starting Thursday when we go to Ohio?  Take the DVDs with me!  I think there is a DVD player, and if not, I am taking my laptop and can play it there.  The walking will continue!

Just a SImple Change of the Light Bulb?

It was just a simple task.  The light bulb on the front porch burned out. What to do?  Change it.  Gary grabbed a new bulb from the cabinet in the back room and out the front door he went.

Cooper was running around the living room, yelling at the tv since IU was playing Northwestern and his daddy is an IU fan.  I was sitting on the couch, catching up on my Online Bible Study from Proverbs 31. Seems like a calm evening (except for Cooper's yelling "GO IU!"), right?

Wrong.

When the door opened, Gary did not come in the house alone.  A bird came in with him.

YIKES!

So we have a bird, flying around the living room, into the fireplace room, back to the living room, into the kitchen.  We have a screaming little boy who is now plastered to my side.  I am trying to shield his head from the bird, just in case it decides red hair would be a nice addition to its next nest.  Gary? Well, he went outside to find a broom, propped the door open, and started yelling and swatting (which did nothing except agitate the bird and make Cooper yell louder).

After swooping through the living room again, the bird went into the kitchen area. Cooper and I headed to the bathroom.

Me:  Close the door and stay in there, Cooper.  DON'T COME OUT!

Cooper:  OK, Mamaw. (door slams)

Gary:  We need to get the bird into the laundry room.

Me:  We need to shut the front door because a cat could come in.

Gary:  The bird needs to be gone first.  (opens door from laundry room to sunroom and props it open)

Me:  If the bird goes into the laundry room and we can get it into the sunroom, we can trap it there!

Gary:  Good idea!

(Bird flies into sunroom.  Gary closes door into sunroom. I close front door.)

Gary (armed with broom):  When I go into the sunroom, close the door behind me

Me:  (pushing door closed behind Gary as he goes into the sunroom)  Get him!

Me:  (returning to bathroom)  Cooper?

I open the door to see Cooper sitting on the toilet, lid down, ankles crossed, hands folded in lap, eyes wide as saucers.

Cooper:  Is the bird gone?

Me:  Let me check.  It is in the sunroom with Papaw and he is trying to shoo him out into the yard.

As I return to the dining room, Gary is walking back into the house, flipping off the lights of the sunroom and shutting the door.

Gary:  The bird is gone!

Me: (returning to bathroom) The bird is gone, Cooper!

Cooper:  Yeah!  Can I call Mommy and tell her?

Next task?  Cleaning up all of the little feathers that were scattered on the carpet in all of the rooms.  At least there was no bird poop!

It's really The End

Today I met Elizabeth for lunch.  The lunch date had a dual purpose.  I really do like Elizabeth; we met one summer in the old Logansport building in the strip plaza by the Do It Center when we were both teaching ENGL 111 in the summer session.  She was a doctoral student at Ball State, teaching adjunct for a few classes.  Later she became full time faculty, starting at the Kokomo campus, then moving to our new building with me.  Prior to my last year at Ivy Tech she was released, and she found another position teaching at the South Bend campus.  When I retired, it was perfect for her to return to our campus and take my place as the only full time English faculty. She also replaced me as the chair of the Adjunct Orientation Committee.

We hadn't really talked too much since we went to Butler in early December to see The Nutcracker.  That was a fun evening.  There was so much to talk about - the Rochester ENGL 111 class.  Her ENGL 111 classes in Logan. The ENGL 112 class.  The new ENGL 220 class she is teaching at Rochester.  People at our campus.  Enrollment.  Changes in staffing in the region.  Her doctoral classes at Northern Illinois University (I think that is the name of the college, not 100% sure). Her new nephew that will be born in May.  My grandchildren.  My mom's health history since December.  Quilts and knitting.

But another reason was to receive my 10 year gift from Ivy Tech.  The recognition program was in December.  I wasn't invited to attend, but that could have been an oversight since a blanket invitation was issued to all in the region through Ivy Tech email, but my account had been cancelled since I didn't complete the security module by the fall deadline.  Anyway, Kevin, our campus president, picked up my gift and certificate, then gave it to Elizabeth to give to me.  This was the first chance we had had to met for lunch.

As we were chatting at the Mexican restaurant on the east side of town, it occurred to me that in a few years, the names of people we share news about might change and she would ask "Did you know...?"  or "Do you remember...?  Oh yes, she came after you retired" and there might not be too much campus news for her to share with me.  Since students travel through in a two-three year time frame, more of their names will be unfamiliar to me because most of my most recent students will graduate.  The same thing has happened at West Central.  I look at the Honor Roll list and recognize a few last names and wonder if the person is a former student's child.  Many of the homecoming court or those honored on Senior Night are total strangers to me.  On the other side they wouldn't know me either.  My legacy has disappeared!

But the main thing that hit me today was when I looked at the certificate for 10 years of service and opened the box that contained my very pretty silver necklace.  Yes I retired. Yes there was a retirement party and I received gifts.  Yes, Kim said a public good-bye and thank you at the fall Adjunct Orientation and I was recognized also at the fall faculty and staff meeting.  But this was final.  This was the end.  No, it was The End.  No more connection to Ivy Tech except for my retirement payments.  No more W2s.  Nothing.  The End.

Bittersweet to say the least.  I am SO happy with retirement and I am enjoying every minute of it.  But teaching was my life (other than my family).  That is what I did.  Celestine wrote a note with my Facebook posts containing the pictures from today's lunch that summed up how I was feeling:  "Congratulations on the milestone. I know you are truly a lifelong educator and you have just marked the end of an era."

 

I am a lifelong educator. I have so many great memories of my students, the lessons I taught, and the accomplishments of those who passed through my classrooms.  I still have teaching to do - whether it is helping Jane with a quilt project or leading a Bible Study or helping Cooper learn how to cook.

But the last part is the most poignant for me right now:  I have just marked the end of an era.  

Indeed I have. 




 

Lunch and Dinner Dates Plus a PonyTail Hat

Today I picked up Tessa from pre-school and we drove to Lafayette to return two tops I didn't really like to Kohls.  Gary was at Hilary and Blaine's house with Cooper and Owen and had plans for them for lunch.  So....Tessa and I decided to have a fun lunch together.

After taking care of business at Kohls, Tessa decided that she wanted a pretzel.  Ok. We could do that.  I also thought taking Papaw an order of orange chicken and rice plus a couple of egg rolls would be a good idea.  Before we could buy the pretzel, Tessa changed her mind to rice and noodles from Panda Express.  My original idea for Gary, which then included a stop at Panera Bread next door for take out cheddar broccoli soup and Fuji Apple Chicken Salad for me, was quickly changed to eating at the tables outside of Panda Express, Tessa enjoying her noodles and rice, my lunch of orange chicken, rice, and an eggroll, plus the carry out order for Gary.  Tessa really enjoyed our little lunch date, and I did too.  She was perfect.  She sipped her apple juice, ate all of her rice, and decided to take part of her noodles home. 



After we returned to her house, she was surprised to find a cute little sock cap, handknitted by Sheryl who was one of my colleagues at Ivy Tech and who moved into my office after I vacated it.  Sheryl's daughter met me at Betty's Quilting yesterday to give it to me.  The hat matches Tessa's winter coat and has a hole in the top for her ponytail to stick out.  Very very cute!  Plus it might be cold enough this weekend to wear it! 









 



Later in the day Cooper came home with us for the weekend.  He is such fun and is very funny with his words and his actions.  Sneaking strawberries as I was cleaning them.  Getting so excited about cheese pizza and blueberry muffins.  Running around the house, checking out the toys and putting his suitcase and backpack on the couch.  He has plans for the entire weekend, which include baking cookies, watching his Pets movie, sleeping with BOTH of us, and staying away from the outside cats.
It will be fun!

 

Yes, we are blessed by some pretty special grandchildren and we wouldn't trade any of them for the world.  Landon just might join us tomorrow for overnight, but most likely he will be here in a couple of weeks for his turn at an overnight.  Can't wait!

Missing It Just a Little Bit.....Sigh

For a few minutes last night I was missing teaching.

Yes.....the first time I have said that since August 2016. 

Why?  I asked Megan if I could be a mentor at the Clinton Prairie Battle of the Books competition last night, and she agreed, reluctantly at first.  I really enjoyed my first and only time as a mentor, which was five years ago.  After that she didn't ask me, but I also had other responsibilities at Ivy Tech that prevented me from participating even if she had asked.  This year, though, I was free!  Well, not really, since my first responsibility was to watch Cooper, but Papaw was more than willing to do that by himself.

My group was an enthusiastic bunch of freshmen who called themselves [Insert Name Here].  Grayson was the recorder of the answers, and it turned out that he also was the son of Cooper's doctor and a neighbor to Matt and Megan.  I had met his older brother earlier when I walked into the library to watch a group playing one of the many board games that Mrs. Scott has handy for the students to sharpen their minds and game-playing skills.

Megan had planned a taco bar for the students and teachers to enjoy preceding the event in the cafeteria.  All of the students were enthusiastic, polite, and congenial.  After their meal they cleaned up, stashed their trash into the trash cans, and settled into the business of answering 150 questions about the books they had read.  My role was to check their answers against those that appeared on the screen and tally the scores for each section of 25 questions.  Grayson updated the team total on the big board and was the self-appointed cheerleader for the group.  They started out slow, but they did make a comeback, finishing third overall, I think.

During the evening and while working with the kids, I felt a little tinge of 'homesickness' for teaching.  It reminded me of events that I enjoyed with my students at West Central, either in the classroom or with the Student Council.  I like working with students, seeing them grow, and helping them achieve their goals.  My group was already strategizing for next year's competition when the end of the evening rolled around.

How. Ev. Er.  As I was driving back to Megan's house, still smiling and feeling thankful that I was asked to participate again, I remembered that these groups were the select group of students who DO read, who ARE responsible, who ENJOY learning and participation.  There is also the group of those students who are not motivated, who could care less about studying and earning good grades, and who have no goals.  I saw many of those, I worked hard to change their attitudes, and now I see many of their names in the police records in the paper. Of course there were a handful that all of the efforts did affect, and I can't discount those.   But do I really want to tackle those problem students again?  I don't think so.

Much as I enjoyed working with the students last night (and really it was just a matter of listening to them and recording their scores or suggesting CHALLENGE! to them if their answer happened to be close), I am not ready to run over to Winamac or into Francesville and sign up for the sub list at either school.  I am not ready to call Amy and ask if I can teach online classes for Ivy Tech again or even an ENGL 111 class at the Logansport campus.  Those days have been replaced with sewing, reading, and many visits with the grandchildren, shopping with Hilary during the day, having my nails done, and going out for lunch with Tina, Jane, or Chris.

But it was fun. I loved seeing the enthusiasm. And I am proud of my daughter who is carrying on the legacy.

Recognizing the Signs

A friend of mine works in hospice care in Alaska where she is the director of volunteers.  She often mentions patients who are in stages of dementia or Alzheimer's Disease.  Because Mom has been diagnosed with moderate dementia, she shared with me several documents, including a list of symptoms to expect, stages and care needed, plus things that family members can do when visiting with loved ones who are exhibiting these traits.

As I looked at the first document which included traits to recognize the progression of the disease, I focused on the first 6 that were listed and how those apply to Mom.

1. Difficulty remembering appointments - Mom has had trouble with remembering her doctors' appointments, even if they are written on all of her many calendars and even if she is reminded several times.  We noticed this specifically when we took her to her appointment with Dr. Sardar on Feb. 9.  She couldn't remember the time, when we would be there, and how she was going to get there.  Gary told her that all she needed to remember was that we would take care of it.  Just be ready in the morning.  One of the therapists told me that this is normal for dementia patients.  They can't process too much at one time.  Telling a dementia patient over and over again the same information, in steps, such as "we will pick you up at 9:30 for your appt at 10:30 and then we will go to the lab at 11:00 and then to lunch and then to another appt at 1:30" just confuses their minds.  They are lost after the first step, then block it out.  This is happening with Mom.  What Gary told her "We will take care of it.  Don't worry about it." is the best thing to do.
2.  Lose track of time  -  We have noticed this happening with Mom also.  She would read well into the night, falling asleep in the chair.  She didn't remember how long she had been in the hospital, what day it was, what time of day it was.   Of course having her blinds and drapes drawn at home would be confusing as well since the entire house was in a state of darkness.  She also talks about the past (as in her childhood) as if it were just happening recently.
3.  Not storing information - Mom does have trouble remembering things that have been told to her recently.  She knew that the furnace people were coming to check her furnace because we had to leave and return to Wooster to meet them.  She then asked the next day what we had been doing, with no mention of what happened with the furnace.  We didn't mention it either, but it did seem unusual that she wouldn't have asked about it.
4.  Accusatory or paranoid - This has been happening for a long time, and now we can put a 'this is a trait of dementia' with it.  Mom accused Gary of stealing her lawnmower.  She was going to have us arrested for cleaning out her refrigerator.  She told Greta that there was no way her house was going to be sold!  She was always worried about the girls touching anything in the basement. She couldn't find a picture and thought that Blaine had taken it.  The list is a long one.  However, now since we know it is a trait, we can let those accuasations bounce off and not respond to them, caulking them up to the dementia.  Much easier to deal with.
5.  Way-finding problems - This is knowing how to do things, how to solve problems, a test of being able to do something the process to do it.  The nurses at Woodlawn said that Mom had difficulty with small steps of things to do, such as preparing for bed.  Even though the clock test seems silly, it is a way to observe Mom's methods of doing something simple, like telling time.  Putting blocks on pegs is a way to test motor skills.  They may seem like simple tasks, but they are indicators of skills that can be developed, that may be weak, or those that have diminished to the point of disappearing.
6.  Unable to separate fact from fiction - Mom has been doing this for several years too.  Her spin of fabrication from factual information has been out of control for some time.  The story about Greta and Kent's stop at a hotel and encountering possible drug deals outside of their room in the parking lot was then inserted into her stay in Lafayette for Landon's adoption party.  Kent's going to Indianapolis for his cousin's funeral was changed to include my reserving a hotel room for him and her insistence (even after my denial that that happened) that she was told just that. The little men with hooded sweatshirts that poured out of a clown car and ran all over the neighborhood.  All of the heavy breathers who called her.  Recently she thinks that Gary told her that serving pureed food in rehabilitation facilities was against the law.  How to react?  Smile, nod, and change the subject. Move on. Don't argue.  Don't try to explain.  Don't point out that she is wrong and why.  Just move on.  Dementia.  Again.

While the diagnosis of dementia is sad, and I don't like seeing the effects on my mother, it gives us a reason for Mom's demeanor, her actions and reactions, and her outbursts.  For me it is calming to know that this is the reason for her anger at me, for her confusion, for her lack of remembering things.  She has claimed for years that "No one told me" or "That's not what they told me!" when asked about something or when being challenged about information.  Most likely the dementia has been a problem for many years; it just had never been evaluated and diagnosed.

Sense of Accomplishment

I was awake and moving earlier than usual this morning, so I took advantage of it and made a list. 

I like lists.  I like crossing things off lists.  Sometimes I forget that I need to do things so a list helps.  And I have to confess that I like crossing things off lists so much, that sometimes I will add something that I just did and cross it off, just to do it.  Weird, I know, but it gives me a sense of accomplishment (see title of this post).

I started today with shower and shampoo which was not the norm for me.  I usually do the walking first, or check FB, or check emails, or eat breakfast.  Only if we have plans for a morning departure is that the first thing on my agenda. 

Next I walked with Leslie Sansone which I have been doing regularly starting last Monday (5 out of 7 days - WOO HOO!).  Instead of the normal 2 mile walk which is rather mild, I selected a different DVD which had a 3 mile walk (in 1 mile segments).  My intent was to just do a mile or two but not all three, but once I got into it, three miles were gone!  The steps are the same, but the movements are intensified and ramped up a bit.  I liked it.

On to the "To Do" list. 

• pay bills 
• address cards and stamp and take to mailbox (no mail today - President's Day)
• wash dishes
• clean strawberries
• change the Christmas plates in the shadowbox to the normal ones
• change the poinsettias on the door wreath to something more springy
• take down the snowmen on the pegs in the living room and the hall and replace with normal stuff
• add flowers to the coffee grinder on the Amish cabinet
• call the Life Alert people in California about March bill
• fill birdfeeders (Gary)
• change wreath above fireplace from the blue and red balls to the normal patriotic one that is usually there
• OBS Week 5  (not done yet)
• work on quilt top (not done yet)
• Put away snowman by hutch

Plus the sun is shining and the warm air is drifting through the open bathroom window.  The front door is open and the door to the sunroom is open also.

As I look at the list, some of those items are just small and insignificant but they all do take time.  They are also easy to put off.  The snowmen usually stay out after Christmas until spring break time since the house looks so blah after the holiday decor is put away, but with 60* weather the past few days, it just seemed like time.

And tonight - grilled steaks from Omaha steaks which were part of Gary's Christmas gift.

Looking at recipes for a pork loin in the crockpot for tomorrow or Wednesday.  We found a sale on them at Meijer yesterday that we just couldn't pass up.

Life is good. 

Getting into My Mind

One of the perks of retirement is having more time to read and enjoy books that I don't need to teach. No thinking of questions to ask, or which literary elements are present, or projects to explore once the reading is finished.

Since Christmas I have completed three books.  Destiny of the Republic by Candace Millard was recommended by E. Anne and was the story of James Garfield and his short term as President of the United States.  It was very eye-opening as to the lack of medical knowledge during that time, the absence of secret service, and the political maneuverings that were not really that much different than what is happening today.

Next up was Eden Hill by Bill Higgs.  Not a common name for an author, in fact, I can see Megan scrunching up her face and asking "Who?" because she has never heard of him.  Liz Curtis Higgs....ahh...ok...he is her husband.  She mentioned his book in one of her FB posts, I investigated, and I purchased it for my Nook.  Good, easy read, but rather calm and not too surprising when it ended.

I was reading  another book I had checked out on Overdrive.  It was the story of two children growing into adulthood at the time of the occupation in Europe during World War II, All the Light We Cannot See.  I was about 1/3 of the way through it when it disappeared from my Nook because it needed to be renewed and since there was no Wifi at Mom's house, I lost it.  I am now on the waiting list again.  However, the mood is not one that was too pleasant, so I may pass on it IF it ever comes my way again.

Since my choices were limited in Wooster, I started to read Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Piccoult.  It was already on my Nook from a previous purchase and since I had enjoyed her most recent book last fall, it was time to cross this one off my Nook list.  I have to admit that this was not a pleasant book to read.  In fact, it scared me.  The subject was a victim of bullying who, one morning, went into his high school and killed 9 students and one teacher and wounded 19 others.  The book itself was well-written with jumps to the past, then to the present, back and forth, filling in missing details which allowed the reader to piece together the treatment of Peter from his first day of kindergarten to the end of his life.    For me that subject was just too close to home.  I taught high school students for 33 years.   I witnessed unkind treatment of many students, tried to stop it several times, and continued to see the hurt and the withdrawal of so many who were teased, mocked, and ridiculed.  That could have very well have happened at West Central.  It makes me hurt and scared for Landon, Tessa, Cooper, and Owen in the future. 

To top it off there were two middle school girls who were brutally murdered in Delphi just a few days ago.  Here we are in an area where people walk on trails, where everyone feels safe, where crime rates are low, and we don't expect to see 'murder' gracing the headlines or lead stories on television.  Here it happened.  We drive through Delphi several times a week.  It is a nice quiet town.  Megan and Matt's wedding reception was in Delphi.  We enjoy eating at Stone House and the Sandwich Shop.  Tessa's adoption was held in the courthouse there.  One of my former students is assistant principal at Delphi Elementary.  Murder should not happen there, or anywhere close to our homes.  But it did.

So combine those two---reading Nineteen Minutes and listening to and reading about the murders of two young girls in a nearby town.

It's getting into my mind.  I feel scared.  I feel worried.  I feel apprehensive.  I want everyone to feel safe. 

Yesterday I felt so uneasy, and most of that uneasiness could be attributed to the fear and apprehension.  Megan and Matt teach in a school and I am sure bullying occurs.  We have four grandchldren who could be subjected to bullying.  "Could" is probably not the right word---they will be subjected to it because most people are bullied at some time or another.  Tony Lawrence taunted me with "four eyes" every day before Math class until I turned at smacked him across the face.  He never did it again.  For six years I was one of the "Ohio People," a label that often made me feel like a leper, like I had some kind of disease, but it also made me work harder for my grades so that I could graduate at the top of my class and receive a full tuition scholarship to Indiana State.

It still makes me feel so apprehensive about the kids, about being able to go out and walk along the Panhandle Pathway, about strangers, just nervous.

After all of the tension and sadness and being on the verge of tears for several days (and actually crying a few times), finally the tension broke when Rick started the sermon today. I can't even remember what he said at the beginning, but his words created a sense of peace coming over my soul.  I know that with our faith in God, we can face any challenges that come before us.  He will protect us.  He will give us peace and comfort. 

Now I am looking for something new to read.  Megan gave me The Nightengale for Christmas, so I might start that.  Perusing the Overdrive selections might give me a couple of ideas.  Whatever it is, it can't be a heavy, tears-provoking book.

Like Gary said, "You need to read some fluff."  Fluff.  Here I come!

Great Expectations >>>Greater Disappointments

You know how you are just hungry for some things, and nothing else will satisfy?

You know how there are favorite dishes in a restaurant that are tried and true, so you order them, knowing that they will be good?

You know how every one in a while you might go out on a tangent and order something that is different, just because the description sounds really good to you?

Well, let me tell you.  All of these things can result in deep dissatisfaction to the palate.

I am not sure when it started, but the occurrences seemed to have developed into a trend recently.

Are you ready for the examples?

On the most recent trip to Ohio to move Mom from Woodlawn Short Term Rehab to Chapel Hill Retirement Center, Gary and I ate most of our meals (lunch and dinner at least) at a restaurant or took carryout back to the house.    One evening we decided to exit US30 at Apple Creek Road and wend our way through the country to Smithville and eat an early dinner at The Barn.  Since I know that eating items on the Salad Wagon can lead to a quick visit to the restroom (not sure why but they must treat the lettuce with something or use a mystery ingredient in the potato salad which provokes instant diarrhea), I decided to order off the menu.  My choice?  A cheeseburger, Swiss cheese, and barn fries (the local version of French fries).   The result?  A dry hard burger, a glob of melted cheese, on a very dry wheat bun and barn fries which were crunchy. As I was gnawing on my meal and Gary was thoroughly enjoying his salads and cups of chili and hunks of sourdough bread, it occurred to me that there was a new Five Guys on the North End that would have served a much better burger, and we put that on the agenda for the next day.

Verdict - never order a burger at The Barn and definitely avoid the barn fries.

One day we chose to visit Farmer Boy for an early dinner.  We like Farmer Boy for their great breakfast selections, the fish platters (better and cheaper than Red Lobster, according to Gary), and the liver and onions (only place in town that serves it according to the waitress).  This time, though, since we had already dined there for the aforementioned menu items a few days earlier, we decided to go with one of the 'specials,' chicken parmigiana.  Mistake.  There was a hunk of partially melted cheese on top of a chicken patty which was dried out and watery spaghetti.  The garlic toast was slender and crispy..translation?  Hard, dry,  and crunchy.    Neither of us was pleased with that meal.

Verdict: stick with breakfast which is served all day or the two known standbys.

Thursday we were driving home from the day at the Children's Museum with Hilary, Tessa, Cooper, and Owen.  This stop was at Sublette's in Monticello.  We dine there frequently, and I often stop there with friends, usually Kathy but more recently with Jane after quilting and Chris just to get together and catch up.  We sat in the bar area in a booth since the other booths were already full.  Our waitress was NOT Rhonda, who we really like, but another girl who was pregnant. She took our drink order and since it was half-price appetizers, we ordered loaded potato skins.  When she returned with our drinks, she took the rest of our order which for me was the fish tacos, cole slaw, and baked beans (my favorite meal there). Gary ordered the special which was all-you-can-eat-fish.  As we sipped our Diet Cokes,  we watched two couples being seated at two booths along the opposite wall.  Rhonda took their orders. Then Rhonda brought their drinks and salads. Then Rhonda brought their food (one of them had fish).  We were still waiting for our appetizer.  Our waitress appeared and said she really did put in the order and it shouldn't be too long.  By the time the potato skins appeared, we were starving but I ate only one of the five since I just knew the fish tacos must be coming soon.  Well, they didn't.  The waitress returned and asked if we wanted a box for the remaining two.  We did.  Rhonda stopped by and brought Gary a refill on his drink.  We were still waiting for our food.  Finally, as Rhonda was giving the other two couples their bills, our meals arrived.  Finally!  Gary's fish was good, but his fries were cold.  My fish tacos?  Well....mostly slaw.  There were a few tiny pieces of fish in the bottom of the shell, but most of the 'fish' was the crunchy dregs that would be left in the fryer after the fish had been removed. As I ate the first one, I thought that probably the second one would be better.  Wrong.  And the 3rd one was no different.  Gary asked for another couple of pieces of fish (since it was all you can eat, remember) and after ordering said he reconsidered, what a mistake it was, and he was out of the mood.  We put the final two pieces, when they finally arrived, in the take out container with the two remaining potato skins.  And to top it off, Rhonda stopped again and asked how we were doing, since we were STILL there and didn't look too happy.

Verdict:  next time at Sublette's ask for Rhonda as our waitress and if not satisfied with the food, tell her.

And to top it off, we had been to Red Lobster on Valentine's Day to take the kids to lunch and my fish tacos there were so disappointing.  I was really looking forward to those at Sublette's because they were usually SO good.  Wrong this time.

Verdict:  Go with the first choice of the Sailor's Platter.

Finally today we went to Arni's for lunch after going to church with Hilary, Blaine, and the kids.  Usually I can't go wrong with Arni's and usually we order salads and a sub to split.  Well, this time I deviated from the usual and asked if Gary and I could split a salad.  He ordered a whole sub and I ordered a turkey Reuben.   What  I neglected to note was that the item was in the "Open Face Sandwiches" section.  That wouldn't have been too bad, except that it was burned and sticking to the platter. I should have had another clue that it wouldn't be good when the waitress asked me if it would be ok without the slaw because they were out of it.   The bread was tough to cut, even with a knife.  After I struggled my way through the first half of it, Gary took pity on me and ate the second half and shared his sub with me.  When he leaned over and asked me how the Reuben was, I answered with "The trend continues!" and it had.  I didn't even get potato chips with it!  No sides!  Even though it said at the top of the page that all sandwiches came with chips or an upgrade for fries or potato salad or sweet potato fries.  And we asked about it too!

Verdict:  Go with tradition - Arni's Junior Salad and split a sub

I guess for a while I should just eat at home.  No expectations and if I don't like something I make, it will be my own fault.

So far, though, Panera Bread has not disappointed me.  In Wooster I have ordered Pick 2 with broccoli cheddar soup, a bagette, and Fuji Apple Chicken Salad, to go, and I have not been disappointed in any of the three times I have stopped there.   But just give it time.  We will be back there again in a couple of weeks.  There is time to change their recipe or remove one of them from the menu or do something to throw a curve into my dining out menu plan.  Just wait!

Time to Clean Out!

Visiting Mom's house is always an incentive to do some house-cleaning of my own.  After emptying the refrigerator upstairs, and cleaning out the freezer above it, ridding the corner of the kitchen of all of the boxes of Ramen noodles and Rice-A-Roni so that the floor could be seen again, and sifting through the boxes of pasta, dry milk, and popcorn dated back to the late 90s, I decided that our own pantry area in the laundry room needed some inventory reduction.

We started by setting up the long table in the kitchen/ dining room.  Gary pulled items off the shelves to put on the table.  I checked the 'use by' dates and put them either at the other end or in the trash.  Guidelines to follow?  Anything with a date prior to 2017 (except a few tubs of frosting)  A bag or box that had been opened and clipped shut except for those from the last two weeks.

By the time we were finished, we had a large box of items plus a couple of large black trash bags, full.  At first Gary said he was going to put all of it in the sunroom until Friday morning, then take it over to the big trash can at The Farm for the trash guys.  Well, I protested that!  No need to entice mice into the sunroom.  No need to possibly forget about all of it until Friday noon and it would be too late to transport it for the pick up on Friday.  So off we went with the bags and huge box in the Escape.  Three bags (our regular trash too) were deposited in the large can for pick up and the box is on the freeze on the porch for next week's collection.  Gone!  Gone!  Gone!

We also decided on a new policy.  Since we make so many trips south through Monticello, there really is no need to plan menus for a week or so ahead and purchase items for those meals.  What usually happens is that there is a change in plans or more times away from home for meals than expected.  Then the food items make their way to the back of the shelves and in a few years they too will be placed in the bags for the trash.  Instead we need to focus on breakfast and some major snack items (like Gary's apples and chips) or foods the kids like when they are going to be here.  Otherwise we can stop at Kroger on the way through and pick up what we need.

Next up?  Closets!  Of course those have been on my to-do list forever, but one of these days.....

Valentine's Day

I used to be a fan of Valentine's Day, then it became a holiday I dreaded.  When I was in high school, I listened to  the girls in my classes talk about the flowers and candy they received from their boyfriends---and I didn't have a boyfriend, so no flowers or candy for me.  Maybe when I was older and in college?

Walking into the lobby of the dorm anytime on Feb. 12- Feb. 14 was like walking into either a flower shop or a funeral home.  Vases and bouquets of roses and other various flowers crowded every available space on the counters and ledges and even on the floor, waiting for the recipients to return from classes to claim.  Never were any of those for me, even though I was dating a guy my junior and senior years.  No flowers though.  Valentine's Day fell another notch to my list of favorite holidays.

After I met Gary, he would give me gifts for Valentine's Day, but eventually I convinced him that flowers would die.  They looked nice on the table, but I wasn't at home to enjoy them.  They would look nice on my desk, but the vase would be difficult to transport home to enjoy and inevitably after a weekend at school or several days at home, they would die.  Candy?  Calories which transformed into pounds.  No need to encourage that!

When Valentine cookies and carnations could be ordered for a fundraiser at school, students and teacher, parents and friends ordered like crazy for their special friends, daughters, and sons.  However, as the teacher in classes where the treats were delivered, I could see the looks of expectations in the eyes of students when deliveries were made, then quickly turn to disappointment and hurt when none of the cookies or flowers were deposited on their desks.  Realistically, I knew that sometimes people just couldn't afford tor order anything, or time ran out and orders were not placed for one reason or another, or maybe the Valentine Gift Budget allowed for another gift which the recipient would receive at home.  Still....the disappointed eyes, the hurt.  Valentine's Day dropped another notch.

Even the elementary teachers were stressed about the fundraising practice.  How does a teacher explain to a classroom of students why some did not receive any cookies or flowers?  So often teachers would order enough for all of their students to receive at least something during delivery.  Nice gesture, but another expense our of the teacher's pocket for her students.

Now there have been good things happen on Valentine's Day.  I remember helping with parties in the girls' classrooms when they were in elementary.  I remember making the day special for them at home.  I remember my class of juniors making their own Valentine envelopes to hand on the bulletin board in the back of my classroom, then filling them with Valentines for everyone in the class and enjoying cookies and Hawaiian Punch as we opened the tiny envelopes.  I remember Gary sending me flowers, which was very sweet.

Today we decided to celebrate Valentine's Day by taking the four grandchildren to lunch (Tessa, Cooper, and Owen) or dinner (Landon) and just spend time with them.  They didn't need candy or toys.  Cards wouldn't be important to them.  Spending time and creating memories were more loving than anything else.

As Gary said today, he thinks we show our love for each other daily.  We go to movies, we dine out frequently, and we say "I love you" frequently.  He fixes me meals, does the laundry, and helps me whenever I need something.  I try to help him as much as I can, put his clothes away, clean up his messes, and be sure he has apples and bananas to eat (when I shop by myself).   I mow in the summer because I know he doesn't like to do it.  He cleans up the kitchen after a meal because he knows I don't like to.  When we buy groceries, he carries in the bags, I unload them, and he puts everything away in its proper place.  We have a system, a partnership.  We listen to each other and we support each other.  I don't need flowers or candy on Feb. 14.

Valentine's Day.  Some people like it; some don't.  Just be sure to love your husband/wife and children.  Show that you care.  A special day isn't needed.  Is it?

Finding I Am - Lysa Terkerust Week 3

Last week my Online Bible Study from Proverbs 31 was a little bit off kilter.  Since we were in Wooster, I had no internet access other than my phone and my iPad.  Not usually a problem, but during the drive over on Sunday afternoon, Verizon sent me a text saying I was down to 10% of my data for the next three days. Being paranoid about going over my allotment, thus being afraid of incurring an additional $15 minimum fee, I really limited my phone use to calls and texts and put the iPad back in the tote bag for the duration.


Instead of checking the daily emails and watching the videos for the week, my focus was the book, and only the book (well, the Bible too, of course).  The 'statement of the week' were actually two:  From John 10:7-- Very truly I tell you, I am the gate for the sheep.  and from John 10:11 -- I am the good shepherd.



No distractions!  I sat in the living room or at the dining room table each day and explored daily scripture readings, read the narrative, and answered the questions. No post in the two online groups on Facebook.  No videos to watch.  Just me, my books, and the Bible.  Sweet!

Several things impacted me this week.  First was the fact that I am indeed a sheep.  I tend to follow the crowd.  I become lost if I am distracted by outside influences.  In some cases I am defenseless.  I have poor eyesight - both literally and figuratively.  I am stubborn.  I also need a Good Shepherd to lead me.

Second is that there are five keys to hearing God's voice:

• scripture - reading the Bible, not just on the surface, but really digging into the words and their meanings. plus the message
• peace of God - found in the Holy Spirit
• Godly Counsel - which is where my FB small groups come in plus my Christian friends like Tina and E. Anne.
• Listen  - shutting out the distractions and really listening to God's voice
• Obey - following God's voice and his commandment 

Third is this passage about the thief who tries to lure us away from the Good Shepherd.  

“The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy.”
Sometimes, it can be a subtle thought we begin to dwell on. Then one thought multiplies into more, and before we know it we’re stressed out, confused and depressed. The enemy plays sneak attacks against our minds. Attempting to steal our joy and peace.

Look at that passage from Lysa.  "The thief's purpose is to steal and kill and destroy."  In the case of a sheep during Biblical times, the thief could have been a wolf or other predator to the sheep.  It could have been someone roaming in the hills trying to steal the sheep away from the shepherd. It could have been someone searching for food and mutton would be a perfect main course for the evening meal.  For me, though...something different.  Look at the rest of the passage - 'a subtle thought'  one that flickers across the mind and settles into it, taking root, then growing because it feeds on fear or frustration.  It could be a fear or an expectation, one that has taken root in the mind and then expands because the thief manipulates it.  Before long, the thoughts grow and multiply, and the thief has been successful.  No more joy, only sorrow and frustration.  No more peace, but depression and stress.  No more calm and contentment, only agony and nervousness.  It can happen. A word or phrase or simple conversation can do it.  One's state of mind can do it.  Being tired or going into a situation already anxious can make the trigger quick and sneaky.  "The enemy plays sneak attacks against our minds."

Even though I had no videos or conversations in my FB groups last week, these three points made an impact on me.

Yes, I am a sheep at times.  I can stray, I can become lost, and I can follow the crowd.  But I can also be determined to stay the course, think for myself, and focus on a long term goal. I have a Good Shepherd to keep me focused.

The five keys are important to me.  I have come to really enjoy reading scripture - more underlines and orange highlights are appearing in my Bible.  This morning I spent a lot of time sharing ideas and discussing the chapters with my FB OBS sisters and it felt good!

Finally, knowing that I need to work on staying positive in many situations is a key to emotional and spiritual well-being.  The 'thief' can come in many forms - not just a wolf or a predator.  It can a person, technology, a hobby, social media, television, work, or family responsibilities.  The trick is to remember to stay positive and not allow that seed of frustration to become fertile, grow and expand, and take over one's spirit.  No good can come of that!

This has been one of the best OBS I have ever done.  I am learning so much, not only about the Bible and Jesus Christ, but also about myself.

Happy Birthday

Starting this morning with some tears, one of those times when I just feel sad and I can't put my finger on the source of the sadness.


 

Then I remembered.  Tomorrow is Agnes' birthday.  She would have been 86 years old.

I know I have written about her several times in my blog.  But today is just a little different.

She was never one to WANT to celebrate her birthday.  She didn't want a fuss, especially in the last few years.  We would always try to do something special for her anyway, of course, but sometimes in February, cold weather, snow, ice---all of those might get in the way of original plans to get together or go out for dinner. She was more of a stay at home and order broasted chicken and potatoes or pizza from the Pizza King in Winamac.

At some point during the day Becky from Country Color would make a delivery of flowers from Mike.  She always fussed about those.  She didn't know why he would send her flowers that would not last very long, stating that he should save his money.  But she always enjoyed them and they never disappeared from the top of the dishwasher until the last petal was dried up.

Since November 10, I have missed my mother-in-law more than I thought possible.  Well, not really.  I knew I would miss her, but until the experience it is hard to know the depth of the feelings that one will experience.

Each Sunday, especially when we leave church, the Escape no longer head to the Family Express to pick up a paper.  We don't call to check with Mom and Dad to see if they need a gallon of milk or anything else that we can pick up before we make the stop at their house. I always enjoyed the after church visits with them, something we have done since the girls were little and we were going home after services at St. Marks.  Leo would always ask about the number of people at church ("Large crowd today?") or what the message was ("Did the preacher have a good sermon?")  and Agnes would always state "I hope you prayed for me!" as she gave a little laugh.  Gary always replied, "I always do, Ma" and she would smile.  Before they became more sedentary, they would ask us to join them for lunch or to share what was left from breakfast.  Always wanting to be sure we didn't go away hungry!  Those times sitting about the table, just chatting are special memories.

The other day I made a peach pie.  Gary was looking in the cabinets and found a couple of cans of peach pie filling. A box of Pillsbury pie crusts was in the fridge, so I made a peach pie.  Of course as I often do, I was thinking that a pie was just too much for us to eat - I am trying to watch my food intake and Gary needed blood work this week--so we could just take half of it to Gary's folks and they would enjoy the rest of it.  Stop.  No, we couldn't take it there. I think of those things quite often - sharing dishes, taking them part of a casserole, planning a meal with them in mind too. Then every month or so Gary would bring home the empty pans and dishes, with a message from his dad that I could just fill them up again.  He wouldn't mind.  I miss that.

Most of all this morning I am thinking about how much I miss my mother.  She never treated me like her daughter-in-law, but like her daughter.  I miss her telling me each time I left that she loved me.  I miss hearing her laughter with the girls.  I miss her interaction with Landon.  And Tessa. And Cooper. And Owen.   I miss how much they all made her smile and how her face would light up when they came into the living room.

I can't walk into the empty house now without missing her so much that it hurts.  I miss the smells of what she always had cooking on the stove.  I used to tell her that the reason I gained so much weight early in our marriage was because of all of the meals she made me eat!  I miss the sounds of the television, because the tv was ALWAYS on in the house, and her interactions with the people on the screen.  She always had an opinion about politics or comments about her favorite sports teams or NASCAR drivers.  I miss her going from room to room, folding laundry, carrying something from one room to another, putting away the towels.  I miss her telling me about what was happening uptown when she worked at the office.  I miss her love for my daughters and her care for them each day so I could teach.  Most of all I miss her always being THERE.  She didn't drive so even if Gary and Leo were in the field or other things were going on, she was always there.  Now the house is so empty.  She just isn't there, and I miss her.

A few weeks ago I stopped at the house by myself.  I was looking for an iron, to take to Megan for her make it space in the library.  I couldn't find it.  It was the first time I had been there all alone.  It was just too quiet.  But as I wandered from room to room, trying to think of where she might have put that iron, I noticed little things.  The pictures on the fridge.  The duct tape  that was everywhere that needed a patch of some sort.  I remember how happy she was with the wallpaper border in the bathroom with those little clawfoot bathtubs on them that matched the ceramic soap dish that Ann had made. I remember her painting the kitchen and putting up the fake tile backsplash, when she purchased the new curtains for the windows.  I remember how she painted the porch to make it look better and how the rain would always drip in to ruin the paint on the walls.  She made do, she patched, she knew what she liked, and she was happy in her house.  She could find everything and anything either upstairs or in the 'office' off the front room.  As I looked for that iron, which I never did find, I found tears streaming down my cheeks.  I missed her.  So much.  I had to leave.  I couldn't stay there anymore.  I missed her too much.

Tomorrow is her birthday. She would be 86.  Now Megan, Mike, and I will carry on.  We share the same last number on our ages.  She was always the first one to turn the new number.  Now Megan will have that distinction when she is 36 on April 8.

I miss you, Mom.  I love you more than you even knew--or maybe you did.  I am so thankful that you accepted me as your daughter 41 years ago, from the moment I first visited your house after the 4-H club livestock tour that hot July evening.  Even though you had no idea that Gary and I would get together---or maybe you did!  I am so thankful that you raised your son to be a wonderful husband, father, and grandfather, and an honest, loyal man.  I am so thankful that you were there to care for Megan and Hilary so that I could continue to teach and that you loved them. I am so thankful that your eyes brightened each and every time the four kids came to visit.  I am so thankful that you were my mother for those 41 years and that your influence still abides within me.

Happy Birthday in Heaven, Mom.  I love you.