The Importance of Girlfriends

A few weeks ago I shared that I was missing having friends around to chat with. 

I don't miss working (actually I liked teaching; I didn't like grading papers), but I do miss the people whether it were students or faculty or office staff.

I don't miss living at the other house, but I do miss calling Jane and running down to her house to sit at the kitchen table, sipping a steaming cup of tea.

I don't miss going to our home church (well, I do sometimes), but I do miss walking in and chatting with people until the service begins.

I don't miss living an hour away from everything, but I do miss running into Francesville or Medaryville and talking to at least 10 people I know while I am there.

I miss friends.

Today when I went to the Fitness Center, I was riding the bike, as I usually do, and Vicky came in.

She bustled over to the bike next to mine and said "I knew you would be here!  What's going on?" and sat down to pedal until our session started.

Then after we started our session on the bikes (because Megan the Trainer told us to stay put and we would being there), Debbie joined us.  It was her first session back after her return from over two months at Sanibel Island and visiting relatives on the drive to and from.

After our session ended, we three ladies stood by the lockers and continued to chat, then after Vicky left to return home, Debbie and I sat on the bench by the door and talked for over an hour.

It felt good to just catch up.  To talk.  To share what we had been doing.  To talk about friends in common (mainly Sheri).

After I left the Fitness Center, I stopped at Payless for a few groceries and ran into Debbie again in the checkout line.  It was fun to see someone I knew in West Lafayette at Payless.

I was reading a book about self-care a few weeks ago. Actually I picked it up at a Target we stopped at in Port Charlotte.  The first chapter is the only one I have completed, and I think I have tried to focus on this aspect of self-care and improve on it.  Social connections.  Friends.  Being out there and doing things with others.  Chatting.  Keeping the connections alive.

All of those things are important to one's well=being and sense of self, as well as a sense of worth.

I felt so energized when I came home.  I smiled because I felt like someone other than my family cared about me and was interested in what I had been doing.

It was fun to run into someone at the store that I knew and who was a friend ---in West Lafayette!  That doesn't happen very often, if at all!

Yes, family is important and my best friend of all is Gary.

But girlfriends?  They are important too!

Great Advice!

I saw this post on FB several days ago.  Some of my retired friends had posted it, but I decided NOT to read it because it sounded like another 'old people' thing and I am struggling with that.  However, this morning, I took the plunge and opened the link.  Instead of feeling like it was addressed to those 'old people' out there, a group which I do NOT want to be part of, I felt it was applicable to me and my life right now.  I shared it on FB and surprisingly, several of my friend liked it, some have commented, and a few have shared it as well.  I still don't like the title, but if I put it into perspective, as in 'we are all heading toward death, we just hope it isn't soon!', then I can handle it better.


Many of us are between 65 and death.

An old friend sent me this excellent list for aging , and , I have to agree it’s good advice to follow … particularly the item 19 .

01 – It’s time to use the money you saved up . Use it and enjoy it . Don’t just keep it for those who may have no notion of the sacrifices you made to get it . Remember there is nothing more dangerous than a son or daughter-in-law with big ideas for your hard-earned capital . Warning : This is also a bad time for investments , even if it seems wonderful or fool-proof . They only bring problems and worries . This is a time for you to enjoy some peace and quiet .

02 – Stop worrying about the financial situation of your children and grandchildren , and don’t feel bad spending your money on yourself . You’ve taken care of them for many years , and you’ve taught them what you could . You gave them an education , food , shelter and support . The responsibility is now theirs to earn their own money .

03 – Keep a healthy life , without great physical effort . Do moderate exercise ( like walking every day ) , eat well and get your sleep . It’s easy to become sick , and it gets harder to remain healthy . That is why you need to keep yourself in good shape and be aware of your medical and physical needs . Keep in touch with your doctor , do tests even when you’re feeling well . Stay informed .

04 – Always buy the best , most beautiful items for your significant other . The key goal is to enjoy your money with your partner . One day one of you will miss the other , and the money will not provide any comfort then , enjoy it together .

05 – Don’t stress over the little things . You’ve already overcome so much in your life . You have good memories and bad ones , but the important thing is the present . Don’t let the past drag you down and don’t let the future frighten you . Feel good in the now . Small issues will soon be forgotten .

06 – Regardless of age , always keep love alive . Love your partner , love life , love your family , love your neighbor and remember : A man is not old as long as he has intelligence and affection .

07 – Be proud , both inside and out . Don’t stop going to your hair salon or barber , do your nails , go to the dermatologist and the dentist , keep your perfumes and creams well stocked . When you are well-maintained on the outside , it seeps in , making you feel proud and strong .

08 – Don’t lose sight of fashion trends for your age , but keep your own sense of style . There’s nothing worse than an older person trying to wear the current fashion among youngsters . You’ve developed your own sense of what looks good on you – keep it and be proud of it . It’s part of who you are .

09 – Always stay up-to-date . Read newspapers , watch the news . Go online and read what people are saying . Make sure you have an active email account and try to use some of those social networks . You’ll be surprised what old friends you’ll meet . Keeping in touch with what is going on and with the people you know is important at any age .

10 – Respect the younger generation and their opinions . They may not have the same ideals as you , but they are the future , and will take the world in their direction . Give advice , not criticism , and try to remind them that yesterday’s wisdom still applies today .

11 – Never use the phrase In my time . Your time is now . As long as you’re alive , you are part of this time . You may have been younger , but you are still you now , having fun and enjoying life .

12 – Some people embrace their golden years , while others become bitter and surly . Life is too short to waste your days on the latter . Spend your time with positive , cheerful people , it’ll rub off on you and your days will seem that much better . Spending your time with bitter people will make you older and harder to be around .

13 – Do not surrender to the temptation of living with your children or grandchildren ( if you have a financial choice , that is ) . Sure , being surrounded by family sounds great , but we all need our privacy . They need theirs and you need yours . If you’ve lost your partner ( our deepest condolences ) , then find a person to move in with you and help out . Even then , do so only if you feel you really need the help or do not want to live alone .

14 – Don’t abandon your hobbies . If you don’t have any , make new ones . You can travel , hike , cook , read , dance . You can adopt a cat or a dog , grow a garden , play cards , checkers , chess , dominoes , golf . You can paint , volunteer or just collect certain items . Find something you like and spend some real time having fun with it .

15 – Even if you don’t feel like it , try to accept invitations . Baptisms , graduations , birthdays , weddings , conferences . Try to go . Get out of the house , meet people you haven’t seen in a while , experience something new ( or something old ) . But don’t get upset when you’re not invited . Some events are limited by resources , and not everyone can be hosted . The important thing is to leave the house from time to time . Go to museums , go walk through a field . Get out there .

16 – Be a conversationalist . Talk less and listen more . Some people go on and on about the past , not caring if their listeners are really interested . That’s a great way of reducing their desire to speak with you . Listen first and answer questions , but don’t go off into long stories unless asked to . Speak in courteous tones and try not to complain or criticize too much unless you really need to . Try to accept situations as they are . Everyone is going through the same things , and people have a low tolerance for hearing complaints . Always find some good things to say as well .

17 – Pain and discomfort go hand in hand with getting older . Try not to dwell on them but accept them as a part of the cycle of life we’re all going through . Try to minimize them in your mind . They are not who you are , they are something that life added to you . If they become your entire focus , you lose sight of the person you used to be .

18 – If you’ve been offended by someone – forgive them . If you’ve offended someone – apologize . Don’t drag around resentment with you . It only serves to make you sad and bitter . It doesn’t matter who was right . Someone once said : Holding a grudge is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die . Don’t take that poison . Forgive , forget and move on with your life .

19 – If you have a strong belief , savor it . But don’t waste your time trying to convince others . They will make their own choices no matter what you tell them , and it will only bring you frustration . Live your faith and set an example . Live true to your beliefs and let that memory sway them .

20 – Laugh A Lot . Laugh at everything . Remember , you are one of the lucky ones . You managed to have a life , a long one . Many never get to this age , never get to experience a full life . But you did . So what’s not to laugh about ? Find the humor in your situation .

21 – Take no notice of what others say about you and even less notice of what they might be thinking . They’ll do it anyway , and you should have pride in yourself and what you’ve achieved . Let them talk and don’t worry . They have no idea about your history , your memories and the life you’ve lived so far . There’s still much to be written , so get busy writing and don’t waste time thinking about what others might think . Now is the time to be at rest , at peace and as happy as you can be !

And , Remember : Life is too short to drink bad wine ! ! ! Or , in my case , bad Arnold Palmer .

Steve Korker 2017/05/31

I Love It When a Plan Comes Together..

Hard as it is to believe, Nick will be graduating this year. 

Yes, our little guy, the baby who was born when Hilary was a senior, is a senior himself.

Quite a blow to "time needs to slow down" adage when she took his senior pictures over Thanksgiving break.

Anyway...the plan was to make a quilt for him for a graduation gift out of a collection of his t-shirts from sports and 4-H and other activities.  Angie thought that was a super idea and her only task was to collect at least 24 t-shirts for me to work with.

Thanksgiving - she was short a few but was going to check with the school for some extras and bring them when they came for Brittany's wedding the first weekend in December

Brittany's wedding weekend - no time to get to the school and she forgot the others

Answer to text sent before Christmas - she had a pile of them, ready to stuff in a bag and bring with them for the holidays

Christmas trip - she couldn't find them. There was a pile, but in the process of cleaning Nick's room for guests for the Hunt Sister Christmas, those t-shirts had disappeared and she wasn't sure where they were and she didn't want him to know why she needed them

A text after the holidays, before the Disney trip, received no response.

Plus the long arm quilter at Betty's is out of commission for a while so there is no one to do the quilting for me---AND it is getting too late to focus on this and finish it before the end of May (along with babysitting and other things that are going on).

The other day Megan and I discussed ideas for Nick's graduation gift and I was coming up dry.  I had nothing.

THEN...it hit me.  I knew what I could do.

A visit to a quilt shop, Quilting by the Beach, when we were at Myrtle Beach in September yielded a purchase of a layer cake of flannel squares.  I had found some gray checked flannel and a piece of solid gray at JoAnns after that.  Then I took the layer cake to Betty's for suggestions on what to do for a quilt.  She selected a kind of tan/goldish fabric that looked like a sponge painted wall for the backing of a simple quilt. Sewing the layer cake squares together would work for a simple warm quilt.

Just recently she offered a class on rag quilts that looked interesting.  Her finished quilt from that class gave me an idea.

I could use the layer cake for squares for a rag quilt.  There were 42 squares and I would need 63 to make one the size of Betty's.  I could supplement those 42 with squares from the solid gray and the checked piece of fabric.  The gold/tan fabric could be cut into squares for the backing pieces.  From that fabric I could cut only 60 squares so I supplemented those with pieces from the layer cake that had some gold or tan in them and decided that they would be the pieces on the four corners.  Then I added one of the solid pieces to the stack for the top pieces.  I cut the gray into enough to supplement and added in four checked pieces to complete the 63. 

The next step would be the batting.  As I searched in the bottom drawer of the dresser in the sewing room, I found several pieces of the low loft batting that I wanted to use.  As I measured and figured how many 9" squares I could cut, I think I will have enough of the scraps that I had saved to total 63.  That will be a task for tomorrow.

After the cutting, I can make the fabric sandwiches with a top square, a batting piece, and the bottom square, then criss-cross stitches.  THe next step will be the layout and sewing strips together.  

Even thought the quilt won't be as meaningful as a t-shirt quilt, it will still be something that Nick can take to college with him.  The colors are fall and winter-ish so that he can use it to keep warm while he is studying in his dorm room or in an apartment.

And even though it isn't a quilt of t-shirts, it will be a quilt made just for him by his aunt, which means a lot to me and I hope it will be as much to him.

I love it when a plan comes together.

Stay tuned...pictures and a progress report to follow.

One of My Best Decisions

This popped up in my Memories on Facebook today.

Ten years of service and commitment to Ivy Tech.

When I interviewed with Tom in November 2005, I never thought I would actually leave West Central and start a new career at Ivy Tech.

But I did.

And I am SO glad it all happened.

As I have said before, I grew so much as a person and as an educator.

Teaching online courses.

Creating online courses.

Organizing and eventually teaching a dual credit course so that high school seniors could earn college credit.

Adapting to teaching five classes each week and going to campus only for those classes or for my office hours.

And the people?  So many students.  So many faculty.  So many administrators and office personnel.  So many adjuncts and dual credit personnel.

I wouldn't trade any of it.

Thanks again, Tom, for encouraging me.  For offering me the position originally.  For challenging me each step of the way.

What a great 10 years!

Sometimes my mind....

...works in a negative way.

Ok...so since we have returned from Florida a few weeks ago, several people that we know (or know of) have died.

As Gary told me yesterday, people die every day.  Sometimes the people are those that we know, or know of, and it just happens.

First --Sharon Witt.  I know we haven't seen her for YEARS, but she and Norm were part of our Lions Club life when Leo was a District Governor and then Indiana Council Chairman.  They would always attend the same conventions and meetings and we would always chat.  Their children, Becky and Allan, had been students of mine.  When we were first married, it seemed like they attended many of the same weddings we did.  They could really dance well together -- that stood out to me.  I can still see them dancing, cheek to cheek and hands held straight down.  They definitely had their own style.  She died, according to her obituary, in Sebring, Florida, and we had just been there the week before her death.  We could have stopped to visit with her had we known.

Next - Tom.  The guy who hired me at Ivy Tech.  My friend.  I wrote about him in a post before.

At the Fitness Center just after Tom died, Megan the Trainer told me that Charlotte, Charlie's wife, had passed away.  Now I didn't know Charlotte, but Charlie was part of our 8:30 group and he is always so nice and friendly, conversational when we rode bikes before our session, and he was just a very nice guy.  I felt bad for him because I knew his wife had been ill for several months and that family was very important to him, judging by his talk of his children and all of his grandchildren who attended Purdue.

At the end of that week Hilary stopped to drop off Owen for the evening while they went to an event at Purdue and told us that Grandma Walker had died.  I think I wrote about her death earlier also.  She was the last of the five great-grandparents who had attended Landon's adoption party in 2010.  She was a sweet lady, but she was 94 and had lived a good life.  Being in an assisted living facility long-term was not fun for her. She will be missed by the family

Wendy our realtor from Francesville texted me that Amanda whose fiance bought our house last June had been diagnosed with leukemia.  They had taken a trip to Cozumel the week we were at Disney World.  After their return she went to the doctor for some test results, was diagnosed with leukemia and was hospitalized immediately so treatment could begin.  Within a couple of weeks the cancer had spread to her brain, and she died on Valentine's Day.  Her memorial service was yesterday.  She had been living in our old house with her daughter and John, who bought the house.  I didn't know her, but just because I could picture her and her family living in the rooms where I had spent 40+ years of my life made me feel sad for her and those she left behind.

Then I opened up the Frain Mortuary website to check on obituaries and saw Chase's name and picture.  A former student who graduated in the last class I had at West Central.  One of my Student Council members.  Dead.  I wrote about him also a few days ago.

All of those deaths have bothered me.  All of those people have been on my mind, even if I hadn't seen most of them for some time.  Even if I had never met them.  I still felt that connection. And they died. 

Older people who had lived a good life.

People who had been ill.

A person who collapsed in front of his class.

Young people afflicted with disease.

And my mind went off in all directions, scared about adding more names to the list.

What if something else happened to someone in our family?

What if out of nowhere one of us was diagnosed with a horrible disease?

What if there were a collapse, followed by sudden death?

What if...

What if...

 What if....

And my mind affects my body.

So the aches began.

The pains in my chest.

Sudden jabs of pain in my forehead.

Listlessness.

Fear.

Every twinge.  Every muscle that moved.  Every twitch.

Until....we went to the ball games yesterday.  I spent the entire time we with Karen, Clay, Amanda, and Chris feeling fine. Well, except for my knee that hurt.

No pains.  No shortness of breath.  No jabs in my chest.  No twinges. 

Is it all in my head?  Probably. 

I also attribute it to having nothing else to focus on right now.  No big projects.  No trips coming up.  No events to plan for.   Just random days with no big plans. 

I need to be busy.

I need to have a focus.

I need to get my mind onto other things and forget about all of these people dying.

Right?

Happy February BIrthday, Ladies!

February used to be our birthday month to celebrate the women in our lives.

Agnes was born on February 4, 1931.  She was the best mother to Gary and his siblings, a wonderful loving grandmother to the girls and Nick, and a sweet great-grandmother to Landon, Tessa, Cooper, and Owen.  Most importantly to me, she was such a fantastic mother-in-law, totally negating all of those nasty mother-in-law images and jokes that permeate FB and beyond.

Auntie Ann was born on February 14.  She was a special lady in all of our lives.  Because she and Bud had no children of their own, they 'adopted' all of us.  One thing I always remember is that she turned on the Christmas lights on her porch each morning in December so that I could see them on my drive to school.  That meant so much to me!

My Grandma Greta was born on February 17, 1903.  She was a guiding light for me when I was growing up.  She always told me that she loved me the best of the three granddaughters, but I am sure she told Greta and Sherry the same thing.  I love that she taught me how to sew on the old treadle sewing machine.  She taught me to make homemade pie crust with lard.  My first pies were made with that crust and the berries that I picked along the fence rows, elderberries of course!  She let me drive before I was 16 (and I turned on a red light at the intersection of Beloit-Snodes Road and Rt.62 before 'turning on red' was a thing).   She and I had many fun adventures when I stayed with her in the summers after we moved to Mt. Vernon.   She taughter me so much about baking and cooking and life itself.  She had her own checking account and her own property, separate from Grandpa's, which was really something considering it was in the 1960's and before separate checking accounts were a thing.  I miss her so much.

Then there is Mom.  She was born on February 21, 1926.  What can I say?  She was my mother.  She did make sure that we were fed every meal.  We had clean clothes to wear to school every day.  Our house was always clean.  Christmas was a BIG holiday and Greta and I received many gifts under the tree.  But the day-to-day life with Mom?  Not a good thing.  Arguments.  Physical abuse.  Verbal abuse.  I could go on and on about how rough our growing up years were.  I could re-hash all of the verbal abuse she inflicted on us, including Gary and Kent,  as adults. I could summarize the way she kept Greta and me apart for more than 15 years.  But doing that would be pointless now.  It is over.  I have dealt with it.  I am still in the process of putting it all behind me and moving on. 

What I will do is say that her last birthdays were good ones...at least we tried to make them so.  We organized a card shower for her 90th birthday.  Gary and I went to Wooster for the weekend of her birthday and the four of us tried to make the event very special for her.  Then in the summer we planned a large family and friends picnic at Freedlanders Park in Wooster to celebrate.  Good times were had---at least by everyone who attended.

So...Happy Birthday to Agnes, Ann, Grandma, and Mom. 

Happy Birthday.

Overdose

Overdose.

Not a good word.

But one that can be associated all too often with the death of those who have been caught into the web of addiction.

The other day I clicked on the Frain Mortuary website, just to check the obits like I usually do every so often.  Since we moved, we are not privy to news of deaths of people in the community like we used to be.  No WKVI to listen to in the mornings.  No regular delivery of the Pulaski County Journal.  No frequent phone calls with neighbors.  No visits with friends at church or stops at the bank. So checking the website keeps us informed.

Imagine my shock when I saw the picture and name of a former student on the obituary page!

He was in my English 11 Honors class as a junior.  He enrolled in both the Short Stories class and Film Lit class his senior year.

He was a member of the Student Council, so he participated in the bi-weekly meetings, committee work, and many of the activities. He always kept the meetings fun and interesting with his new ideas to present.  One thing I remember is that he and some of his friends wanted to change the homecoming dance from a semi-formal affair in the cafeteria to a more casual activity in the auxiliary gym, complete with haybales and cornstalks.  He smirked that he knew I wouldn't like it and wouldn't let them make the changes he initiated, but I insisted that the membership decided those things and all he needed to do was make a motion and have a vote.  It passed. It happened.  Not too many people liked it, especially some of the seniors who looked forward to the dress-up format of the dance.  But it was their dance, and they voted, and they made the changes.  (and the dance returned to the original format the next year---after another motion and vote!)

I remember his talking often, during the down times before and after the class time, about how he could sneak around and his step-father, an Indiana State trooper and then the Pulaski County Sheriff, would never catch him.  I usually walked to the door of the classroom, stood out in the hall where I could keep an eye on the students but not really hear what they were saying.  I didn't like knowing that those types of things were happening.  I didn't want to be harboring information that I might regret not passing on to others who might be able to help or stop those types of activities.  Maybe I should have listened more closely.  Maybe I should have passed on some of the information to others who might have been able to help.  One never knows.

One time after his graduation I saw him.  We were in Francesville, but I can't remember how long ago it happened nor the exact place we were.  But I do remember the conversation.

First he thanked me for teaching him how to write.  He said he had really learned so much about organization and style from my class.  He continued to say that the skill he possessed was now making him some money.  Oh yes!  He was writing papers for Purdue students, they were paying him for his work, and those papers were receiving A's in their classes for them.  I wasn't quite sure how to respond to that.  Uh...thank you?  Thank you for the compliment on helping your with your writing skills...but to help others cheat on their grades at a Big 10 school?  And you were being paid for it?

Another friend shared with me that he had told her that he was glad he was off that stuff.  She had seen him soon after her brother had survived an overdose.  She had told him she was happy that he had turned his life around.

Evidently he hadn't.

You know...that is one thing that he did well.  He told you what he thought you would want to hear.  Then he would twist it either to get in a sarcastic dig, or he would try to cover up something he really didn't want you to know.

Back to the obit....when I read the first line and saw the words "..died on February 14...." with no explanation, such as 'as a result of an automobile accident' or 'with his family by his side after an extended illness' I knew something was wrong.  I suspected the cause before a friend verified it.

Overdose.

How sad.

How sad for him that his life is over and that he made choices that resulted in his death.

How sad for his fiancee and their two children...now they will live their lives without him as a father and potential husband.

How sad for his parents.  Not only did they lose their only son, but they also lost a daughter many years ago.  No parent should have to bury one, let alone two, children.

How sad for our society, that drugs are so commonplace and so easily obtainable that they can grip a person's life and ruin it so quickly and easily.

Just sad.

And so heartbreaking.

"Gunsmoke" and "Bonanza"

When I turned on the television this afternoon, I saw old familiar characters - Festus and Doc from "Gunsmoke."

I haven't watched an entire episode of that program for several years, even though the reruns are part of TVLand's daily lineup.  But just seeing those two characters on the screen again brought back some memories.

There weren't many things I was allowed to do with my dad, since he worked hard during the day at B&W, then usually did free-lance electrician work in the evenings or worked outside in the garage/workshop on the weekends.  He did put me on the riding mower when I was 9-10 years old and I mowed the back yard, the back back yard, and the back back back yard (behind the garden).  But just hanging around with Dad and doing things with him wasn't something that happened.  That was before girls were learning about electricity and things like that; otherwise, I probably would have been learning about amps and volts and circuits and all of those types of things.

But we did watch two programs together.

I always looked forward to Saturday evenings because Dad and i would watch "Gunsmoke."  There were probably other shows that we watched as a family, but just before the time for Matt Dillon to appear, Greta would be put to bed.  Then it was just Dad and I to watch Marshall Dillon, Miss Kitty, and the rest of the gang.  I loved watching it with him.  Dad would have his own names for the characters and he could mimic them as well.  He would say dialogue along with them and identify the good guys and the bad guys who tried to  be good guys but were found out by the cool deciphering of clues by Marshall Dillon.

 

On Sundays the "Bonanza" time slot was after Greta's and my bedtime, especially during the school year.  In the summer we were usually outside playing, but on Sundays during holidays or if there were to be snow days, we could stay up later.  Sometimes we would sneak out of our bedroom into the hallway and watch the tv, crouched down on the floor in a spot where we could see the screen.  Of course inevitably someone would begin to giggle or she would be in my way and I would push her so I could see better and we would be found out.   I can still hear Dad saying "Girls......get back to bed."

One of the best days of my young life when we were living in the Little Brown House on 62 was the day that Dad told me I could stay up late and watch "Bonanza" with him.  I was cautioned, however, that if I fussed about getting up in the morning or tried to sleep later or fought with Greta because I had stayed up later, then my "Bonanza" watching privilege would disappear. Of course I listened to Dad talk about "Horse" rather than Hoss and Little Joe became "Little Joe" but that was just  him.  Add that to "Fenster" from Gunsmoke and "Art and Harold and Gloria too" from Christmas carols.



Many memories from those old programs.  I love that Dad and I could share those things together.  Some of the show watching continued after we moved to Mt. Vernon when I was 12, but it was easier then because of the time change.  Much better to watch those shows at 9:00 rather than at 10:00!

A Winter Wonderland

Every once in a while Mother Nature decides to dust the ground, the trees, the bushes, and the buildings with a white covering of snow.

Last night was one of those times.

We didn't have a record snowfall but any stretch of the imagination, but there was more snow on the ground than what we have had thus far this winter season.

On top of that there was virtually no wind and the snow came down in big flakes, so the views from the windows were beautiful this morning.

One thing I noticed was the packing of the snow on the pine trees.  Every needle seemed to catch the flakes which deepened as time went on.

The outlines of the bare trees on the west side of the yard were vivid because of the packed white fluff in the middles of those trunks and limbs.

I read somewhere recently that snowfall gave a special insulation to sound.  When snow was falling, the outside air seemed uncharacteristically quiet.  When snow covered the ground, the trees, and bushes, the quiet was usually overwhelming.

This morning as I gazed out of the windows in the dining room, it did seem like everything was incredibly still . Nothing was moving.  No footprints or tiretracks, rabbit feet, or bird tracks were visible in the pristine white snow.

Perfect.

Pure white.

Silent.

Later though I heard it.  The scrape of a shovel on the boards of the deck.

I saw the Carhart jacket, the sock cap, and the boots as Gary made his way to the barn to feed the goats.

Later as I was walking through the living room the top of the white Escape slipped below the sill of the front window as Gary was driving down the lane.   He had to 'open up the drive' by making several trips in the Escape up and down the lane to be sure there was a path for anyone who happened to stop by and to be sure we could travel in and out.

As I sit in the family room, typing this, and gaze out the window in the sewing room, I see flakes of snow still drifting from the sky to settle on the branches of the empty trees and the needles of the pines.  More snow is falling softly.  Tonight's temperatures are supposed to dip close to zero. It will be cold in the morning!

While I am not a fan of winter, I do like to wear heavy coats, boots, gloves, and hats for a few weeks.  I like to stomp in the snow once or twice.

I like the view of a fresh snowfall from the warmth and comfort of our home.

But as Darla said on FB this morning, "This snowfall is so pretty.  Now go away."

I'll be ready for spring next week.

Snuggled at Its Finest

Owen spends a lot of time at our house now.

Since Hilary started working at Rossville Elementary two weeks ago, alternative plans had to be made for him for the afternoons following pre-school.  Three days he rides the bus to a babysitter's house in town; the other two days we pick him up at 10:30 and return to our house for lunch.  On Tuesdays we then drive into Lafayette to the Wee Speak place for his Occupational Therapy appointment.  He works with a speech therapist on Wednesday afternoons at the same clinic.

Usually Owen is a "Papaw's Boy" when he is here.  He loves Papaw, and he wants to spend all of his time with him.  Papaw fixes him chocolate milk.  Papaw has NutriGrain bars just for Owen in the pantry.  Papaw can peel oranges for Owen to snack on.  How many times have Owen and Papaw watched The Incredibles or Cars 3 on the Disney+ channel?

Crawling up on Papaw's lap to enjoy movies is a special thing.

But yesterday, something different happened.

Hilary dropped Owen off before taking the Big Kids into town to meet Blaine for dinner and then go to Mackey Mayhem which was something the Purdue wrestlers were doing in Mackey Arena.  Landon is a wrestler and attended the clinic last Sunday which was followed by a Big 10 meet.  Tessa wanted to go along and she is old enough to comprehend and enjoy what was happening on the mats.

But Owen?  He would want to wander around.  He has no interest in wrestling meets at this age.  Even when Blaine suggested that he would be happy with popcorn during the activities, Hilary said it would be only if she were holding him or by his side the entire evening since he likes Mommy best of anyone.

So he stayed here with us.

After the usual eating and playing and wathing tv, Owen decided to scramble into my recliner after I had vacated it to go to the kitchen for a drink.  He was giggling when I returned and told him that the recliner was Mamaw's seat.  He did scoot over, though, and made enough room for me to sit. 

We share some of the gummy lifesavers that I brought back with me, then he snuggled into my side, wanted me to put my left arm around him, then he settled into a comfy spot.   Before long his breathing became softer and his head drooped down.

He was asleep.

Now for some, the response would be an "Ahhh...isn't that sweet?"

But for me it was so much more.

As I said before, Owen is a Papaw's Boy.  He LOVES Papaw and everyone knows that Papaw is his favorite.

But for some reason last night, he wanted to snuggle with me.

His glasses were nudged off.  A blanket from the basket covered us.  We were nice and cozy.

Snuggling at its finest. 

I will take that any time!

Another Loss

When Hilary walked in this evening, she had tears in her eyes. 

Blaine's Grandma Walker had died this afternoon.

She had been sick for several months.  She had resided in the assisted living wing at the hospital where Jan worked.

A few weeks ago we learned from Aunt Deb that Jan had paid only a portion of their mother's health insurance, which seemed like a bad sign.

Then on Sunday hospice was called in.

When Landon's adoption was celebrated with a party at their West Point house, a picture was taken of him with his five, count 'em FIVE, great-grandparents.

Grandma Flora Walker

Grandpa Irvin Yaggie

Grandma Marge Henderson']

Grampy Leo Siemens

Grammy Agnes Siemens

Not too many young children have that many great-grandparents to celebrate with!

Now all of them are gone.  Grandma Flora was the last.

Funny thing is....after out trip to Fair Oaks on Monday, Blaine and Hilary took the kids to visit her at the assisted living center in Rensselaer.

Hilary had her camera with her and took pictures of her with the kids and of her with Jan and with Jan and Blaine and one with Jan and Blaine and the kids - four generations.

She was a nice lady.

She had a good life.

But it is still sad. 

We will miss her.

Snow Day!

I was actually excited about the possibility of a snow day today.

Why, you ask?

Several reasons actually...

1.  I  don't teach anymore so I don't have to worry about how I am going to get to school on slick roads.  Now granted, when the roads were bad, West Central would cancel school or have a delay and I  would stay home!  Or, if we still were in session and I thought the roads were too slick for me to drive (and I HATE driving on ice and snow) then Gary would drop me off, spend the day at his folks' house, and pick me up after school.  In the last few years that I taught, he had basketball practice so that made more sense anyway---just one car.

2.  Snow days at Ivy Tech were non-existent.  Chancellor Dailey reminded us that we were not to penalize students if they could not attend class because of bad driving conditions or family situations that were caused by nasty weather.  However we were expected to be on campus, in our offices during advising hours, and in our classrooms at the scheduled times; otherwise, we would be taking a sick day or receive a dock in pay.  I remember that Fran worked from the Peru campus one snowy day since she lived in Peru and the roads to her office in Kokomo were 'slick and hazardous,' yet she was told her pay would be docked because she wasn't working in her assigned office.  I think she fought that and won, but still.  How ridiculous is that to expect college personnel to risk their lives?

3.  Nothing was on our schedule for today except my hair appointment in Francesville. I had contacted Lindsey yesterday about re-scheduling so that obligation was marked off the calendar.  Thursday is not a Miracles Fitness day, so there was no debate about whether I should drive to West Lafayette or not.

4.  No one expected us to go anywhere or be anywhere today.  Once again no one expected us to be anywhere on Saturday or Sunday and those were not snow days, but there is something fun about NOT being obligated to be anywhere else other than home....and the snow is preventing any spur-of-the-moment decisions to run into town for something.

5.  Eating out is NOT an option.  Meals will be at home, so that means cooking and baking are possibilities.  Since we had planned for a pot roast  in the crockpot, complete with  potatoes, onions, and carrots, and we added noodles---that was dinner.  I baked a cake and an ooey-gooey butter cake (Paula Deen box mix) and we had a great meal!  Hilary, Blaine, and the kids came over and we shared with them.

6.  Time for projects - which I have all the time anyway, but it seems more special on a Snow Day.  I spent the afternoon hand sewing the binding on the wall hanging.  I finished one side, which was more than I had done this morning!

Having a snow day was fun for me!  Funny how our perspective about snow changes over the years, isn't it?

The Loss of a Friend

In 2005 I applied to be an adjunct at Ivy Tech in Logansport.  Little did I know at the time that the Logansport campus was part of the Kokomo  region and that all hiring went through that campus.  Tom Ghering called me for an interview.  During that meeting he offered me a full time position, which I laughed at because I already had a job teaching high school students and I had no intention of leaving that position.

Once again...little did I know that the following school year would find me teaching full time at the Logansport campus of Ivy Tech Community College.  Tom was my program chair, and he became a good friend.

During my ten years at Ivy Tech, Tom changed 'titles' several times. But he always encouraged me.  He supported me.

I remember his giving me an online ENGL 111 class to teach.  I told him I had never taken an online course, let alone teach one, and I had no idea what to do.  He told me it was time I learned and he would help me through it.  That was my second semester with the college. That was the first of my teaching at least one online course every semester.

After teaching American lit a few semesters, I suggested that a change was needed to improve enrollment.  He told me to create an online course, offer it state wide, and see what happened. Me?  Create an online course?  Me?   That opened the door for me to create not only the ENGL 222 online course, but spurred me on to create the second half of the series as well, ENGL 223.  I taught both of those for several years, capping the enrollment at 20 and reaching that cap often.

I told Tom that he always gave me a challenge, and he reminded me that I always met that challenge with positive energy and was successful.

As with every full time faculty, I started as an Instructor, then moved to an Assistant Professor  I wasn't sure that I wanted to apply for re-classification as Associate Professor, but Tom (and Kim King) encouraged me to pursue that next step.  Tom was the chair for my re-classification committee, and I remember that he let me sweat a little bit by not notifying me immediately after the committee meeting.  When he finally called me with the good news, I told him I had been a little nervous.  His response?  It was a no-brainer for me to be receive reclassification, and the process took just a few minutes for them to review and agree, so the rest of their time was spent chatting until someone suggested that I might want to know!   I am sure that if I had decided to pursue full professorship, he would have supported me every step of the way.  I didn't because I knew I was going to retire and the time and energy I would have spent working on the needed steps to complete my portfolio would have taken me away from my grandchildren, and they were too important to me.

When I needed letters for teaching as an adjunct at Trine, who wrote one for me?  Tom.

When I decided to retire, who was one of the first people I called?  Tom.

When Kim announced at the last Adjunct Orientation meeting that I chaired, that I was retiring and that evening was my last official duty, and everyone applauded and many lined up to give me hugs and offer congratulations, who was standing there beside me, with a box of kleenex?  Tom

Who was the only faculty member who visited me at the hospital following my knee surgery and sent me flowers?  Tom

Who would always 'like' the pictures I would share on FB of the kids?  Tom

Who bought me breakfast in November after I gave him a box of collector spoons that had been my mother-in-law's to give to his mother who also collected spoons?  Tom

Who collapsed in his classroom on Monday, hit his head, and died?  Tom.

My friend.  My reason for being at Ivy Tech in the first place.  But most of all my friend.  Tom.

Tom is dead.

I will miss him.

His young granddaughter will be heartbroken.

His younger grandson will barely remember his grandfather and the spaghetti he used to make for him.

His mother will be crushed.

His sons will no longer have their mentor to rely upon.

And I have lost my friend.

If it hadn't been for him, I would never have made the move to Ivy Tech.  He saw the potential in me to accomplish what I did in those 10 years at the college.  

Thank you, Tom, for being my boss, my mentor, my friend.

No Big Family Dinner Today

Another one of the 'best laid plans' scenarios.

The idea was to host a big family dinner so we could all be together and visit and catch up and the kids could play together.

We will host.  I will fix the meal.   Everyone just needs to be here.

First glitch - Megan has a meeting with Heidi and the bridesmaids in Zionsville.

Second glitch - Cooper went to Urgent Care about the cough he had had and was diagnosed with the flu even though he doesn't have a fever and even though he isn't vomiting and even though his strep test was negative. So no Matt and no Cooper and no Lynnlee.

Third glitch - no church because Blaine's back was killing him and Owen was clingy which was a good thing in a way because the food can go in the oven earlier and they can come over earlier for the meal.

Fourth glitch -  Landon has a wrestling workshop at Purdue this afternoon, which we already knew about.  Hilary and Blaine are taking him, and Owen and Tessa are staying here.

Then Karen called and she and Clay are stopping by this afternoon to visit.

Not exactly the way the day was planned, but what days are the way we plan? Not too many. 

The motto around here has to be "Go with the flow" because "the best laid plans" are sure to fall apart.

I Just Like Living Here

I know I have said it many times. 

I tell Gary several times a week that I am SO glad we moved here.  Usually it is when we are out on the road and returning from running into town or visiting one of the girls. 

Not having to drive an hour to see the kiddos or not having to plan several stops on a 'trip to Lafayette' so that we make the most of the time and the gas we have to use is just heavenly to me.

But last night it really hit me again how much I like this house.

Lynnlee and Cooper were downstairs playing when Hilary and Blaine, Tessa and Owen stopped by.  We were all in the family room, the kids playing and us visiting.  It was comfortable.  The mess was easy to clean up later.  The mess was contained --- and that was important.

Lynnlee and Gary went to bed early, but Cooper and I stayed up and he watched some things on the Disney+ channel.  At 10:30 he abruptly went upstairs to bed and was asleep before I could tuck him in.  Lynnlee, on the other hand. was fighting sleep.  She finally wimpered herself to sleep.  When she started the wimpering again at 5:30, I slipped out of the bed, stopped at the bathroom, then went in with Cooper to finish sleeping.  The way the bedrooms and the master bathroom are laid out we were able to get up at 6:30, I took a shower, and Cooper was watching tv again without disturbing the others.

Later the kids and I were downstairs and I eventually began working in the sewing room.  I love that space!  None of the kids are permitted in there, mainly because there are scissors and pins and rotary cutters that can hurt and cut.  Also someone fiddled with the knobs on my sewing machine and it had to be serviced again for everything to be re-set.  However.....Lynnlee spent some time with me today.  When I was pressing the binding for the quilt, she sat in my big chair and watched Baby Shark and other kids' nursery songs on my phone through the YouTube app.  Then when I started to actually sew, she moved to the floor and was lying there on her tummy, still watching the songs.  Her big concern was that the long strip of binding was lying in her space and she wanted it to be on my lap.  That worked!

Watching C and L over night is something that might have happened when we lived in the other house, but it would have been more difficult logistically and probably we would have gone to their house and we would have spent the night, then returned home sometime today.    Everything is just easier with our being closer to them.

And tomorrow...church at 11.  Then we invited Megan and family and Hilary and family for our first Family Dinner.  I read a post on FB a few weeks ago about how it was good to bring back the Family Dinners of years past.  I really don't remember having family dinners ever, but I do like the idea of getting together periodically so that we can just catch up on each other's news and what is happening in our lives.

For one thing - I always forget what I tell which daughter and this would be a chance to discuss what has been happening or ask questions all at once. One time.

For another --- the girls don't see each other as much now that Hilary is working and not watching Lynnlee.  For the last 6 years she had watched either Cooper or Lynnlee or both and she and Megan saw each other several times a week, usually every weekday unless Matt was doing the drop off and pick up for the day. 

And finally -- the kids can play together.  There is something about being able to play with your cousins. 

As I said when I was planning this event, a Family Dinner won't happen every week.  It might not happen every other week either.  But if we can arrange a time at least once a month for a family get-together, I will be happy.  And I don't mind cooking and planning it.  After all this is now the "home place'  and I have more time to do it.

Yes, I like living here.  I do.  I really do.