Valentine's Day

I used to be a fan of Valentine's Day, then it became a holiday I dreaded.  When I was in high school, I listened to  the girls in my classes talk about the flowers and candy they received from their boyfriends---and I didn't have a boyfriend, so no flowers or candy for me.  Maybe when I was older and in college?

Walking into the lobby of the dorm anytime on Feb. 12- Feb. 14 was like walking into either a flower shop or a funeral home.  Vases and bouquets of roses and other various flowers crowded every available space on the counters and ledges and even on the floor, waiting for the recipients to return from classes to claim.  Never were any of those for me, even though I was dating a guy my junior and senior years.  No flowers though.  Valentine's Day fell another notch to my list of favorite holidays.

After I met Gary, he would give me gifts for Valentine's Day, but eventually I convinced him that flowers would die.  They looked nice on the table, but I wasn't at home to enjoy them.  They would look nice on my desk, but the vase would be difficult to transport home to enjoy and inevitably after a weekend at school or several days at home, they would die.  Candy?  Calories which transformed into pounds.  No need to encourage that!

When Valentine cookies and carnations could be ordered for a fundraiser at school, students and teacher, parents and friends ordered like crazy for their special friends, daughters, and sons.  However, as the teacher in classes where the treats were delivered, I could see the looks of expectations in the eyes of students when deliveries were made, then quickly turn to disappointment and hurt when none of the cookies or flowers were deposited on their desks.  Realistically, I knew that sometimes people just couldn't afford tor order anything, or time ran out and orders were not placed for one reason or another, or maybe the Valentine Gift Budget allowed for another gift which the recipient would receive at home.  Still....the disappointed eyes, the hurt.  Valentine's Day dropped another notch.

Even the elementary teachers were stressed about the fundraising practice.  How does a teacher explain to a classroom of students why some did not receive any cookies or flowers?  So often teachers would order enough for all of their students to receive at least something during delivery.  Nice gesture, but another expense our of the teacher's pocket for her students.

Now there have been good things happen on Valentine's Day.  I remember helping with parties in the girls' classrooms when they were in elementary.  I remember making the day special for them at home.  I remember my class of juniors making their own Valentine envelopes to hand on the bulletin board in the back of my classroom, then filling them with Valentines for everyone in the class and enjoying cookies and Hawaiian Punch as we opened the tiny envelopes.  I remember Gary sending me flowers, which was very sweet.

Today we decided to celebrate Valentine's Day by taking the four grandchildren to lunch (Tessa, Cooper, and Owen) or dinner (Landon) and just spend time with them.  They didn't need candy or toys.  Cards wouldn't be important to them.  Spending time and creating memories were more loving than anything else.

As Gary said today, he thinks we show our love for each other daily.  We go to movies, we dine out frequently, and we say "I love you" frequently.  He fixes me meals, does the laundry, and helps me whenever I need something.  I try to help him as much as I can, put his clothes away, clean up his messes, and be sure he has apples and bananas to eat (when I shop by myself).   I mow in the summer because I know he doesn't like to do it.  He cleans up the kitchen after a meal because he knows I don't like to.  When we buy groceries, he carries in the bags, I unload them, and he puts everything away in its proper place.  We have a system, a partnership.  We listen to each other and we support each other.  I don't need flowers or candy on Feb. 14.

Valentine's Day.  Some people like it; some don't.  Just be sure to love your husband/wife and children.  Show that you care.  A special day isn't needed.  Is it?