It's really The End

Today I met Elizabeth for lunch.  The lunch date had a dual purpose.  I really do like Elizabeth; we met one summer in the old Logansport building in the strip plaza by the Do It Center when we were both teaching ENGL 111 in the summer session.  She was a doctoral student at Ball State, teaching adjunct for a few classes.  Later she became full time faculty, starting at the Kokomo campus, then moving to our new building with me.  Prior to my last year at Ivy Tech she was released, and she found another position teaching at the South Bend campus.  When I retired, it was perfect for her to return to our campus and take my place as the only full time English faculty. She also replaced me as the chair of the Adjunct Orientation Committee.

We hadn't really talked too much since we went to Butler in early December to see The Nutcracker.  That was a fun evening.  There was so much to talk about - the Rochester ENGL 111 class.  Her ENGL 111 classes in Logan. The ENGL 112 class.  The new ENGL 220 class she is teaching at Rochester.  People at our campus.  Enrollment.  Changes in staffing in the region.  Her doctoral classes at Northern Illinois University (I think that is the name of the college, not 100% sure). Her new nephew that will be born in May.  My grandchildren.  My mom's health history since December.  Quilts and knitting.

But another reason was to receive my 10 year gift from Ivy Tech.  The recognition program was in December.  I wasn't invited to attend, but that could have been an oversight since a blanket invitation was issued to all in the region through Ivy Tech email, but my account had been cancelled since I didn't complete the security module by the fall deadline.  Anyway, Kevin, our campus president, picked up my gift and certificate, then gave it to Elizabeth to give to me.  This was the first chance we had had to met for lunch.

As we were chatting at the Mexican restaurant on the east side of town, it occurred to me that in a few years, the names of people we share news about might change and she would ask "Did you know...?"  or "Do you remember...?  Oh yes, she came after you retired" and there might not be too much campus news for her to share with me.  Since students travel through in a two-three year time frame, more of their names will be unfamiliar to me because most of my most recent students will graduate.  The same thing has happened at West Central.  I look at the Honor Roll list and recognize a few last names and wonder if the person is a former student's child.  Many of the homecoming court or those honored on Senior Night are total strangers to me.  On the other side they wouldn't know me either.  My legacy has disappeared!

But the main thing that hit me today was when I looked at the certificate for 10 years of service and opened the box that contained my very pretty silver necklace.  Yes I retired. Yes there was a retirement party and I received gifts.  Yes, Kim said a public good-bye and thank you at the fall Adjunct Orientation and I was recognized also at the fall faculty and staff meeting.  But this was final.  This was the end.  No, it was The End.  No more connection to Ivy Tech except for my retirement payments.  No more W2s.  Nothing.  The End.

Bittersweet to say the least.  I am SO happy with retirement and I am enjoying every minute of it.  But teaching was my life (other than my family).  That is what I did.  Celestine wrote a note with my Facebook posts containing the pictures from today's lunch that summed up how I was feeling:  "Congratulations on the milestone. I know you are truly a lifelong educator and you have just marked the end of an era."

 

I am a lifelong educator. I have so many great memories of my students, the lessons I taught, and the accomplishments of those who passed through my classrooms.  I still have teaching to do - whether it is helping Jane with a quilt project or leading a Bible Study or helping Cooper learn how to cook.

But the last part is the most poignant for me right now:  I have just marked the end of an era.  

Indeed I have.