Decoration Day

One of my memories from growing up was going with Grandma and Mom to the Damascus cemetery to decorate the graves of my great-grandparents at the end of May.

When I stayed with Grandma during the summers after we moved to Mt. Vernon, one of our nightly excursions was to drive to  Damascus, retrieve the watering can out of the trunk of the car, fill it with water at one of the faucets provided for that purpose, and water the flowers in the big concrete urns in front or to the sides of the graves. We would pull weeds around the stones, walked over to the Clemson stone and water the flowers there, then Grandma would tell me stories about other people who were buried close by.  Some of Great-Grandma's friends and neighbors were still her neighbors since they were laid to rest by her.  Sometimes I felt a little reminiscent of the poems I had read in Spoon River Anthology where the dead appeared outside of their graves to tell the stories of their lives.  After we finished, if I were lucky, we would drive the long way home and stop at the ice cream shop in Beloit for a cone.

Years have passed.

Grandma and Grandpa Ritchie have joined my great-grandparents in the cemetery.

Uncle Dean is also buried there, but in a different section, much to my mother's chagrin.  Actually I think Grandma and Grandpa had spaces for both Uncle Dean and Aunt Joretta and Mom and Dad next to them, but both Mom and Uncle Dean were too stubborn to be buried there, especially if the other were to be.  Another story for another time...

Anyway...three years ago Mom died just before Memorial Day.   Her funeral was on May 23.  After the girls and families returned home, Gary and I stayed behind to start on the process of the house, the clothes, and other details.  

Memories of Memorial Day flooded back, of course, especially the one when Dad was the Grand Marshall of the parade through town which ended at the cemetery. He placed the wreath at the veterans memorial.  He smiled and nodded toward the right from his seat on the brick path to the memorial and mentioned that soon he would be at home in that spot, indicated the sight of his grave.  Even though we didn't want to think of that, we had to agree that that time would indeed be coming sooner than we wanted. Mesothelioma was progressing through his body then.

But the thing that hit me the most was that it was one of the few times I was in Ohio when I could step back in time and re-visit the tradition Grandma and I had of decorating the graves for Memorial Day.

There were no live flowers this time though, other than in Wooster.  We had planted geraniums in front of the stone when we visited Mom at the hospital on Mother's Day.  Those had been displaced when the gravediggers had dug Mom's grave several days later.  But the other graves?  No one to water them or care for them, so we went the route that Agnes always did.  Artificial flowers.

A stop at Walmart or Lowe's---I can't remember really where we found the sprays, but we set out for 'over home' to visit the cemeteries.

Damascus Cemetery -  Great-Grandma Eva and Great-Grandpa Howard Cattell.  Grandma Greta and Grandpa Wilbur Ritchie.  Uncle Dean Ritchie.  It took a while and some ducking under and around some very large bushes (after all, Grandma and I had placed flowers in the 1960s and those bushes had grown!!) but we finally found the Clemson graves.

Sebring Cemetery - Grandpa Darl and Grandma Elizabeth Henderson. Aunt Mildred and Larry Grimm.  Uncle Vernon Henderson.

Back to Wooster and replacing the geraniums in front of Mom and Dad's graves.

This year we bought flowers at Dollar General for the graves here.  Agnes always bought flowers there or at the 5 and 10,  and she and Leo would drive to the cemeteries to place them.  She always shared with us what they had done and I could tell that was something that she enjoyed, as much as one can enjoy doing that.  Later they would ask us to go along, I think so that we would carry on that task for them when they no longer could do it.  Soon we were buying the flowers (and she would always give us money to do so), then driving around ourselves with them along to show us where the graves were.  Eventually we bought the flowers, placed them at the cemeteries, then shared the pictures with them and Leo would nod and say thank you and Agnes would have tears in her eyes.  Lately one of the grandkids would go with us.  I remember Landon saying that we were taking him along so he would know how to do is when we were dead.  Nice thought, Landon!  But a little bit true too.  Passing the torch....

On Tuesday after my haircut appointment we visited the cemeteries.  There was no dawdling....it was drizzling and cold.  But we stopped at the St. Mark's Cemetery in Medaryville and placed flowers on Grandpa Herman and Grandma Tamma Siemens' graves.   

On to the Bowman White Post cemetery and flowers on Leo and Agnes' graves as well as Ann and Bud's.

Next stop the St. Peter's Cemetery in Winamac.  Flowers for Aunt Katie Fenters, Uncle Jim and Aunt Catherine Nufer, and Grandpa and Grandma Winter.   Side note---this year we walked to the stones without wandering all over that section because we couldn't find them.  Why?  Because last year I found a landmark to go by---the white barn across the road is directly north of the stones.  

No grandkiddos with us this year, but I think we will probably take a drive later this summer to visit the graves again.

I told Gary that I was a little sad that we couldn't go to Ohio and decorate the graves as we did three years ago.  He surprised me by saying we could go and do that next week if I wanted to.

I do...but I don't.

In this time of pandemic, I don't really want to travel.  Plus it is a long distance to drive just to visit the cemeteries in one afternoon. I wouldn't feel right to visit my cousins, especially with the social distancing conditions right now.

So I will remember instead.  Many memories on this Decoration Day.

I miss Grandma.