Too Hot!

 I am awake again at nearly 2:00 in the morning.

I was awake at midnight too.

Sweating.

I was just too hot.

The room seemed to be closing in on me.

I was tired.

My legs hurt.

I was just hot.

I needed to open the door and let the air circulate.

I woke Gary and he brought a fan to the room, plugged it in, and closed the door.   I felt closed in...again.

I think I fell asleep for maybe an hour.  I awoke again..sweating.   Finally I just came downstairs to find a drink and sit in the recliner.

And I feel better now.  I feel cooler, I am not as thirsty, and I feel more relaxed.

I don't want to return to bed. It will be hot.  I will toss and turn.  I will feel closed in.  I won't sleep.

There is something about this whole pandemic that has affected my sleeping in a negative way.  Fortunately it is summer now and the days are longer which means the nights are shorter.

Why is that a good thing?  Because the darkness makes me feel so enclosed now.  It makes me nervous.  It makes me scared.  I don't like the night.

It's funny too, because I love the night time during the winter.

I like the glow of lights at night, feeling cozy under a blanket and reading by a light over my shoulder.

But since this pandemic has happened, I just don't like the night.  I don't like trying to sleep.  I don't like being awake in the middle of the night for sometimes an hour or more.  I don't like feeling tired the next day.

And I don't like being hot.

Soon Gary will discover that I am gone.  He will come downstairs and ask me why I am here.  He will wonder why I am typing on the laptop.  He will tell me to turn everything off and come back to bed.

He just doesn't understand.

I will still be hot.  I will still feel closed in.  I won't be able to sleep.

Why?