When To Be Silent and When To Speak Up

This section of Zip It has a great title, doesn't it?  Have you seen the saying on FB to the effect that we don't really listen to actually hear what is being said, but we just listen to respond?  That happens frequently, and I know I am guilty of doing just that.  I am hearing what the person is saying, then my mind skips to what I am going to say in response, sometimes even interrupting the speaker just to interject my own knowledge of the topic.  I do that.  Others do that.  No one escapes this.

But silence?  Why is that so hard?

I wrote about Day 26 the other day, our assumptions and speaking at inappropriate times when silence would be a better option.

Day 27's title was "When You Know Better: It's Time to be Silent."

This is a hard one.  Part of us wants to be right, we want to have the last word.  We do.  But sometimes an argument is hopeless.  Often the topic really isn't worth arguing about, or the other participant is stubborn and bull-headed and won't change his/her mind.  Then it is better to just walk away.

When I was growing up, and even as an adult, Mom would argue with us frequently.  We would be sucked into an argument and not even know it happened.  Then when we would try to retreat or walk away, she would throw out the "Yes.  Just walk away.  You know I'm right!" and that would draw us back in again to defend our opinions (or sometimes facts that we knew were correct that she just didn't 'get') and the argument would escalate once again.  Of course Mom never apologized to anyone (because why should she? she was never wrong), she would never forgive (why should she---holding grudges is something she does best) and Mom probably remembers every argument she has ever had in her life.

But now I realize that it IS better just to walk away, or to avoid the argument altogether.  Lately I have been on the edge of spurting out something that might incite some hurt feelings or spark some ill will or controversy.  Stopping myself, thinking about it, and keeping my mouth shut has been very beneficial for me.  I guess I have been learning from this Bible study!  A month ago I may have voiced some of my thoughts and incited some controversies.  Better to not do that!

Takeaways from Day 27 -

--Choose better.  When in an argument, silence statements better left unsaid.  If we know better than to say something, we must choose better.

--Talk to Jesus instead of arguing with others.  Ask Him to guide our words or help us to keep silent.

Day 28 - "When You Can Help (and there is nothing in it for you): It's Time to Speak Up"

coming back to this one - Owen is wreaking havoc on the living room