The Sounds of Silence

No, not Simon and Garfunkel exactly.  But the idea is similar.  Sounds of silence. 

Today's Zip It devotion (the book I am reading for Lent by Karen Ehman) focused on silence.  The title?  "When You Think You Know Why: It's Time to Be Silent."  As I read the FB post about today's devotion, one comment intrigued me. The writer said that she had highlighted and underlined so many passages in the chapter, that it had really spoken to her.  When I finished the 5 pages, I found much the same.  Yellow highlights and black underlines and many stars. 

Why?

Because the silence really spoke to me.

Why should we choose silence?

1. Friends need support, not lecture.   How many times is just the presence of a friend more beneficial than the words she says?  One may not remember anything that was said, but more the fact of being there, for support, to listen.  
2. Every story has a supernatural side.  Really?  But after I read the narrative, I agreed.  No one but the person knows the situation, the circumstances, the emotions felt, the tone of the words spoken...no one can presume to totally understand.  Totally.  One thing that always aggravated me was another person trying to tell me how to handle a situation in my classroom or with a student.  If I just vented to a colleague (or even someone not in the education field), the last thing I needed to hear would be "Well, you should have done this or that." or "I would have done this or that instead of what you did."  Or worse yet, interrupt me before I was finished and try to interject their own expertise into my situation, discrediting what I had done without even listening to the entire scenario.
3. We might be remembered only for our response.  As a teacher there were things I repeated over and over for my students to remember.  I always find it interesting, however, that sometimes they will share with me things that I said or did that THEY always remember that have totally escaped my memory.  I always think, "Really?  I don't even remember saying that and you remember it?"  There is always a follow-up comment about how that particular comment made an impact or hit something important to them.  Another reason why we need to choose our words wisely because we never know the impact they will make...or how they might be remembered!
4. Our words could incite God's anger.  Wow. This is scary.  I don't like to think of God as being angry, but of course there are many reasons in this world for Him to be displeased with His children.  God does possess knowledge beyond our understanding and to second guess Him is just not right.
5. When we practice purposeful silence, we create space for the suffering person to reflect, process, and grieve.  It also allows them someone to talk to---when they are ready.  You know, when I think about good friends, those who come to mind are the ones who, when I need to talk, just listen.  Karen Whelan was like that.  She just listened.  Kathy is like that too. She just listens.  I used to think that when someone said nothing it indicated boredom or disinterest, but it really doesn't.  Well, it could, I suppose.  But a good friend will listen to another, giving that person space to reflect and ponder, process, and come to her own conclusions rather than overwhelm her with endless advice.

Lots to learn in the five pages today.  I hope that I can change my methods of talking and listening so that I can be a better listener.  I have been trying to slow down, to not share too much, to keep quiet.  I did fairly well on the trip to Birmingham, on the cruise, and while we were in New Orleans.  More quiet than talking.  Just listening.