Why Her? Week 1 Day 2

On the calendar it is still Day 1, but you know....I have to work ahead since we won't be home tomorrow or Wednesday. If I fall behind now, I will be behind through the entire study.  I know how this works for me!

Chapter 2 - Honest Answers

"Every day  we look at someone else and find a reason for not liking something about ourselves."  page 22 

Oh my...does that fit me!  And it's not just one 'something.'  It turns into multiple things.  Each and every day!

"Honesty teaches us to stop fearing what we don't have so we can see what we do."  page 26

"Honesty about the source of our comparison issues can lead us toward being hopeful again. Admitting the situations we face each day that try to make us feel less-than is an important first step--recognizing them as soon as possible, calling them out before they take root and spiral into a lifestyle.  Being honest enough to call out comparison the moment it happens will help us regain our control of it." page 27 

"We often lose who we are while trying to become someone we aren't."  page 30

Oh my..how true is this?  I am not pretty.  I am not thin.  I am not outgoing and social. I may talk a lot, but I am not outgoing. I am scared to sit down at a table by myself at a baby shower because I am afraid no one will come to sit with me.  I am afraid to sit by myself at a baby shower with others because I am afraid they will ignore me.  I lose the good person that I am (at least who I think I am) to take on the personality of someone who people will be attracted to, at least to sit with at a baby shower.  I always feel like it will be, 'Oh where should we sit?  There is Beth at a table by herself, but let's sit here instead."  I sit there and try to become someone people will want to sit by, but I am not that person.   

"Honesty can lead us to quiet places where we seek to understand rather than merely react."  page 32

Now this makes sense.  At the baby shower most of the people there were related to each other or had ties due to social circumstances.  I knew most of the people, I had talked to most of them, but I have been 'out of the loop' with most of them because I changed jobs, we don't do anything with school anymore, our interactions with that group of 'friends' is limited now.  But that didn't mean that I couldn't initiate some conversation. Which is what I did.  And it worked out well.  I talked to several people during and after the shower. I caught up with some I hadn't seen for a while and visited with someone who knew my brother-in-law's sister and her husband.   It was all fine.  But I let the stress of 'where will I sit and who will I talk to' ruin the beginning of the afternoon.

Prompts and Answers:

1.  List any areas where you're sensing a 'must be nice' syndrome slipping in.
        This one is easy.  "Must be nice....to be able to retire and afford to buy another house and still have money to live on."

2.  Describe any part of your life right now that feels like an "Unhappily Ever After" situation
     Right now?  I don't feel like 'unhappily ever after' is an issue.  We are retired.  We have enough money to do what we want to do.  Our house is paid for.  We have no major debts.  My inheritance from Mom's estate is sizeable and will be in our account soon.  So unhappiness is not an issue.  Driving an hour each way to spend time with the kids and help out is not a hardship.  We can make this work.

3.  Write five things you're grateful for.
        1.  Gary
        2.  the girls and the guys and the kids
        3.  that the farm is paid for
        4.  that we have no enormous debt
        5.  that we have relatively good health
        6.  that God is faithful to us and will provide for our needs.  He will open the doors  when we are ready to walk through them.

4.  Write a prayer to God, asking Him to help you stay honest and aware of this comparison struggle.
        Dear Lord, please help me to recognize my strengths and the many blessings that you have bestowed upon me.  Help me to remember that I do have many special talents and that those are often different than those others possess.  Help me to appreciate them  and use them as you have intended.  When I feel intimidated or the low self-esteem begins to kick in, help me to remember that I am loved not only by you but by my husband and daughters and grandchildren.  In Jesus' name I pray.  Amen.

Wrestle with this:  Who was someone you compared yourself with as a child?

Easy one.  My sister and my cousin.

They were a year apart in age and closer to each other than they were to me.  Greta was cute and so was Sherry.  I was the plain and homely one. I was supposed to be in charge and more in control so they could play and I was to keep an eye on them to keep them out of trouble.  So if they did anything wrong, it was my fault. I always wished I could be the cute one, the one who could just have fun, and the one who wouldn't be blamed for everything.  It didn't help that for Thanksgiving Sherry was the first one to bring a boyfriend - and she was 5 years younger than I was.  It didn't help that she was the first one to be married ---and my sister was asked to be a bridesmaid. I wasn't.   But out of the three of us, I am the only one married to the first husband. ( and I do understand the reason for the divorces). I have many other blessings that I have been given or successes that I have worked for.  The comparison aspect was silly then. I know that now.  Why did I let it bother me so much?