Pet Peeve #246

You know those things that just BUG you to pieces? 

Things that make you grit your teeth?

Things that frazzle your nerves?

Things that irritate you to no end?

How about this---

"Why didn't you say/do this instead?"

"Well I would have just said this...."

"You should have told her...."

Ok...maybe this person is just trying to be helpful.

But when I tell a story or share something that happened, and a situation has happened, and I don't ask "What should I have done?" or "What would you have said?"  I don't really want you to tell me what I should have done or what you would have said instead.

Why?

Because for one...you weren't there. 

Secondly - you don't know the timing and the situation.  It is easy to say "I would have said this..." but you might not have had a chance to say that particular thing if others had been in close proximity, or if the person had been close to tears, or if that person's tone of voice wouldn't have warranted such a response.

Third - why are you doubting that I can't handle a situation myself without your expert advice?  Am I not capable of thinking for myself or choosing my words properly for a situation?  Can I not function without your expertise?

Fourth - I am not asking for your advice or your critique on what I did or what I said.  That was not the reason for my sharing this little scenario with you 

Stop telling me what you would have said. Cease offering advice on how I should have handled the situation.  Give me some credit for being able to communicate with someone myself as an adult.

I realize that sometimes there is a "In retrospect...I should have said this..." moments.

But this is not one of those times.

Just. Keep. Your. Thoughts. To.  Yourself.