Feeling Content

One of my Dotti's friends commented on my post today that she hoped I could relax for the weekend because we are hosting a 40th anniversary party for Sandy and Kent, Gary's sister and her husband.

I had to smile about that---because the word 'relax' has taken on a different meaning for me.

It used to be that when we entertained, whether it be for one of the girls' birthday parties or for a big family gathering, I would be in a panic mode.  Last year was a little easier for Thanksgiving since I started preparations at the beginning of November.  But usually I am fussing around, nervous, and I never enjoy the festivities---until they are over.  In fact usually DURING the event, I watch the clock and gauge how many more minutes or hours it will be until everyone leaves.

Pretty bad, huh?

Why was it like that?  I think it stemmed from my mom being so critical all the time.  Re-hashing her comments and viewpoints are pointless here, but I always felt like I had to be up to the Better Homes and Gardens according to Marjorie standards or else I was a failure.  Even if she were not attending, which was most of the time, I still felt like I would be criticized if things were not clean enough or uncluttered enough or arranged as they should be or the food warm or cold enough, or whatever.

I also had problems because our house was just crowded with things.  I was running out of places for everything, which is why the blue bedroom and the garage were always off limits.  I did the best I could with the room I had to work with.  No one complained, but I always felt like something was lacking in my hostessing skills.

Now that we have moved, I have relaxed.   I really have.

Yes, I am still cleaning before everyone comes for anything.  But it is easier.

One reason is that everything is new and fresh.  New paint.  New carpet.  New furniture.  New room arrangements.  That makes a difference.

Another is that the house is bigger.  More room for the tables for dinner on Thanksgiving and Christmas.  More room for the kids to play.  More room for people to sit and visit and watch football games.  No one will be crowded and we won't be stepping over each other.

A third reason is that  we have gotten rid of so much stuff!  Six dumpsters full of trash.  Countless bags of donations to Goodwill.  Even though there are still boxes in the garage to unpack and sort through, the house itself does not feel like it is bursting at the seams from TOO MUCH STUFF.  I am getting much better about just saying 'No, I don't want that anymore.  We have no room for it.' about many items.  Either into the trash or the donation bag they go.

And finally, we have the Party Barn.  I had never thought about using the white building by the barn for our gatherings until Megan asked about the flooring there.  A concrete floor, a wood burning stove, and a built in worktalbe add up to a perfect spot for casual gatherings.  Our old refrigerator is out there, and the fire ring is just outside.  All that is needed is a bathroom and the downstairs bath off the living room is perfect for guests.  No tromping through the house.  Just into the dining room/kitchen and around the corner. 

Housewarming Party in the Party Barn.  Perfect.

Karen's Surprise 60th Birthday Party in the Party Barn.  Perfect.

Sandy and Kent's 40th Anniversary Party in the Party Barn.  Perfect.

Thanksgiving will be in the house, but it will be fine.  And I am looking forward to it.

In fact I am looking forward to all of the entertaining we will do.

Melanie and Brian and the girls on November 17th.

Christmas for our little family on Dec. 23.

Siemens Christmas on Christmas Eve.

And who knows what will come after that!

We are ready.

And I feel content.