To Say I Am Tired.....

..is an understatement.

Two years ago December we began the process of cleaning out Mom's house.  She was in the hospital for the heart valve replacement surgery and never came home.  Not because of that particular surgery, which actually was quite successful.  No, she had a stroke.  Then she went into two other facilities and she never recovered enough to return home.  I started cleaning out things while she was hospitalized.  We finally finished at the end of August 2017 after the auction.

After that, or maybe during the Wooster process,  we began the process of cleaning out Leo and Agnes' house.  First we bagged all of the clothes for Goodwill.  Then going through household possessions, furniture, things stored in the toy room---all of it was a lengthy process.  I felt like I was just a helped in that, however.  I was the daughter-in-law, not a daughter, so I did as I was told.  Still it took a toll, especially when the clean out times were sporadic, when there would be days and weeks and even a month or so when nothing happened.

Since we moved this summer and our house is on the market, we must clean it out also.

What I thought would be an easy process....isn't.  Moving some of the smaller things that we use all the time was not hard.  Even moving the furniture and other larger items at the end of July wasn't too bad.  But the attic.  The blue bedroom.  The garage.  All of those have been horrible for me.

First of all I didn't realize we had so much stored in the attic.  When Matt was pulling boxes out on Labor Day Sunday, it seemed like he would never stop.  It took all day with Megan helping and another day with just Gary and me to finish going through the boxes and sorting out the trash, the Goodwill, and the keep stuff.

When we finally found a dumpster to use, we started the other rooms.  Last week on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, we worked on the Blue Bedroom.  What a mess that was!  I had no idea we had SO much in that one room.  On those three days we filled the dumpster.  The gray Escape was loaded with things to bring home and sort through again.  The white Escape was loaded with Goodwill bags.  Wednesday Gary opened the garage also to start pulling items out to pitch into the dumpster. 

The garage was another eye-opening experience.  So many boxes of old books that were moldy and falling apart.  Easy to pitch those in the dumpster.  So many boxes of clothes that had been packed away.  Why did we keep all of those clothes that the girls had outgrown instead of giving them to Goodwill at the time?  Games and games and more games.  Boxes of stuffed animals and Cabbage Patch dolls.  More books.  Christmas decor.   A box with all of the cups-of-the-month that Aunt Joretta gave me for shower gifts and many Christmases.  Scrapbooks from high school.  Clippings from my high school graduation.  The girls report cards.  Old furniture that had seen better days.  A bed with mattress and springs that went into the dumpster.

But we found treasures too.  Gary's silver tray that he won for Champion Shorthorn Steer Showmanship at the Indiana State Fair.

A book in Dad's handwriting that he completed for a project for Hilary.

A little pewter mug with Megan's initials that was a baby gift.

Megan's collection of Babysitter Club books.

My portfolio for Teacher of the Year with pictures and letters written by colleagues, parents, and students.

A saw that Dad had painted of the Pulaski Mill (that matches the tray I found and that now hangs on the wall above the icebox)

Yesterday was Dumpster Day #4.

Today was Dumpster Day #5.

I am becoming a regular at Goodwill because the guy who helps unload the donations recognized me today and asked if I needed a cart again like I did yesterday!

We are hoping that Thursday will be Dumpster Day #6 and then just one more will be needed after that---next week.

I hope so.  Because I am tired.

I am tired of pulling out boxes and tubs, opening the lids, and going through everything.

I am tired of deciding what to keep, what to pitch, and what to donate.

I am physically tired of bending and lifting and standing and sitting and sorting.

I am emotionally tired of the memories and trying to remember that I just can't keep everything, that they are just material things, that my memories will remain even if I don't have the letter or the picture or the doll in my hands.

But I have forgotten so much---and the items trigger the happy memories that bring a smile to my face and tug at my heartstrings.

I do know that once we finish this....and we sort through the boxes here and distribute what is theirs to the girls, that I will be done.  I am not cleaning out houses any more.  Done.  Finished. Over.

I hope!