Quality Time

Hilary and I had an interesting discussion this evening as we were driving from Faith Christian Church (Landon and Tessa's swimming lessons) to Frankfort (Landon's basketball game).

She said that her dad and I enjoy spending time together.  We do.  I don't like to go places without him.  Now I don't mean to pick up medicine at the drugstore or to run down to Jane's to pick up something.  I mean if a trip is made to Lafayette, then I would prefer going with him. 

One spring break Kathy invited me to go along to the Bahamas with her and a friend from Monticello.  The two people who had planned to go had cancelled, and I was offered one of the two available tickets.  I didn't know the other two on the trip, and I enjoyed the scenery of the beach and the quick day cruise we took from Ft. Lauderdale to Freeport and back, but I would have enjoyed it more with Gary.

There were times when I was teaching at Ivy Tech, and even when I was teaching at West Central, that I would come home and say that I was 'tired of people.'  It was true.  I was so tired of having to be nice, to smile, to listen to ridiculous rantings, to students begging for grades, to watching manipulations that I just wanted to be home and with him.  No judgments. No rantings (except mine).  No expectations (except what was for dinner). 

I like to be with Gary. He is my husband, but he is also my best friend.  He doesn't always listen to me, but most of the time he does.  He often tells me I am making too much fuss about something, and he is usually right.  He never understands why I cry, telling me 'there is no reason to cry' which just makes me mad, but he doesn't understand that crying for me is a release of emotions.  Some people yell and scream or hit a wall or slam a door or throw something - I cry. 

But mainly I think of this.  When I met him and fell in love with him and he asked me to marry him, it was to be together as a couple.  We enjoyed being together, sharing our lives, building a future, raising a family, anticipating growing old together.  There is no one we wanted to be with then, other than each other.  Why get married so that we can do those things, then not do them once we are married?  Why spend our free time with friends or at work (longer than necessary) or at a bar or club when we enjoyed spending our time together?

This is not to say that sometimes shopping trips or a lunch date or having dinner with girlfriends is not a good thing.  This is not to say that I can't spend time working on a quilt or reading my book or going to a Pulaski County Retired Teachers Meeting.  This is not to say that I can't go to the Tuesday morning Ladies Bible Study at church or that he can't stop at Cervenka's and visit with Mark.  This is not to say that he can't go over to The Farm by himself and work around the machine shed doing whatever needs to be done. 

It is to say that we love each other and married each other so we could be together.  My best times in life are those when we are together, doing the things we enjoy whether it is dinner or lunch out somewhere, being with the grandchildren, going someplace with Blaine and Hilary or Megan and Matt or all of us together, watching a movie, or going on a trip somewhere. 

I hope we set a good example for our daughters and sons-in-law.  Quality time.  Being together.  Enjoying each other's company.  Family.  That is what our marriage is all about.