Mixed Emotions

How many mixed emotions can there be in just a few days?

Yesterday we reached a milestone of sorts.  It was one year since Gary, Sandy, and I watched their mother take her last breaths.  Sandy had spent the night with her, called us in the still-dark early hours of morning, and we, along with the hospice nurse, tried to make her as comfortable as we could as she drifted off to heaven.  




All of the 'firsts' have passed.  The first very sad Thanksgiving without both Mom and Dad (and the last one at the house).  The first Christmas without them (at our new traditional location).  Her first birthday without her.   The first Mother's Day without her (and the last one with my mom who died 5 days later).  Their first anniversary together in heaven.  Memories of the last harvest and how concerned she was about Gary, the equipment, the weather.   Memories of the ambulance ride on October 28 and her hospital stay which sealed the prognosis that she wouldn't be getting better.  The last Halloween the kids were able to trick or treat at Grammy's and how Alex bought candy for her to give to them.  The first harvest without either Mom or Dad.

Now we move to the 'New Normal' or maybe it is to return to the Former Normal with Thanksgiving at our house once again.

Then there is Veterans Day.  I am so thankful for the ALL of the veterans but especially those in my family - Dad, Uncle Bob, Uncle Bud, Uncle Bill, Uncle Dean, Grandpa Henderson, Uncle Bud, Uncle Jim.    I still think of Gary as a veteran even though he doesn't.  He served in the National Guard in the late 60s, early 70s.  He was prepared to go to Vietnam.  He was at home helping with the farming since his dad was sick and was ready to serve if called up.  I miss the Veterans Day program at school - a special event that my Student Council began 17 years ago and which continues today.  I am especially proud of Eric Rodriguez, a former student who is serving in the Navy and who was invited to speak at yesterday's event. 

 

And finally, Tessa Rose Yaggie is 5 years old today.  She is so special to our family.  I don't remember when she was born because she wasn't with us then.  We missed her first birthday also because she had returned to her grandparents after a brief stay in foster care with Blaine and Hilkary, but returned when she was 13 months old and never left again!  We have celebrated birthdays # 2, 3, 4 and now #5 with her.  She is so sweet, so special, so sassy, so smart,  and is just our favorite little girl (along with Lynnlee) and is looking forward to helping Lynnlee grow up and to being in kindergarten next year. We love her so much.

 

Yes, a mix of emotions the past few days.  Sadness and memories.   Thankfulness, respect, and pride.  Love and gratitude that Tessa found her forever home with Hilary and Blaine.