Trying to Feel Normal

 Last week Gary and I drove to Wooster for a day and a half, then drove to Michigan to relax for a few days.  We packed, we drove, we stayed at a hotel in Wooster, visited our favorite spots, and had dinner with Melanie and Brian and the girls.

Then in Michigan we stayed at the same resort we had been with Megan and Matt and the kids two years ago.  We visited some new places there, ones that we had missed on the previous trip or that weren't the ones to visit with the kids (like wineries!). 

It all seemed like a normal trip for us, but there were differences.

Tables at The Barn, which I mentioned in the previous post.

No inside seating at Hartlzer's.

Closed lobbies on all of the fast food restaurants in Michigan.

Wearing masks everywhere we went. (And I forgot one time at a rest area when we stopped for a potty break)

Remembering to use the hand sanitizer as soon as we returned to the car.

Limited seating at restaurants.

Different wine - tasting experiences.

Then back at home...going to Cooper's baseball game and sitting away from others along the third base line.

Trying to visit with a former teacher friend from West Central through a mask.

Being hot behind the mask and sometimes struggling to breathe.

Forgetting about the mask and thinking another sip of the Diet Coke before we leave the table at the restaurant might be good---and then remembering I can't sip through the cloth

It's just different---and much as I am trying to be 'back to normal,' it just isn't.

And I don't like the term 'new normal,' but is that the way life is going to be now?

Always wearing masks out in public?

Spacing in restaurants?  Which isn't a bad thing---actually it is rather nice not to have others close by. 

Keeping that hand sanitizer close so we can use it after each time we exit a store or grab a bag at a drive thru or touch anything that might have germs?

Better health practices are always good, but it just seems like I have become more paranoid about it all.  

While I know the virus is serious, and while I don't want any of us to have it and maybe spread it to the rest of the family, I am still thinking that all of the hype about it might have been a bit more than needed. And it makes me sad now to see so many things that used to be a part of our lives, not be a part of lives anymore.

But maybe that has been part of the overall plan too?  Maybe we needed time to look at our priorities.  Maybe we all needed to stay at home more.  Maybe the family structure was suffering and parents and children alike needed more time together.

I don't know.  I don't want to argue about it either.  And I realize that many children aren't part of loving families and suffer from being at home all the time...not the point I want to make right now.

What I miss is the normal feeling that we had last year.  Being free to go places and do things when we wanted to.  Not feeling scared when people come too close.  Wondering if this or that surface has been sanitized or not.  Staying away from certain places where the germs might be more easily transferred.

Being more cautious about everything.

While we were gone, part of me was aching to be at home again.  Why?  Because I wouldn't have to wear a mask, keep one close to me at all times, or hand sanitize as much as I was while we were away.

I just wanted to feel normal, and traveling wasn't that.  Only while we were in the Escape, driving down the roads.  

Mask handy.

Hand sanitizer in the door.

Life goes on.