The Trip to Wooster

So much has happened in the past two weeks that I have had plenty to post about, but just haven't had the time nor the inclination to do so.

First - the holidays!

We went to Ohio to deliver Greta's cabinet that she FINALLY decided was a good idea to purchase.

The first day of the three was to Wooster.  We went to Smuckers to look for sugar free jelly and whatever else we could find that was interesting.  I was disappointed that there was no Boysenberry jam at all, either regular or sugar free, but we did pick up several jars of blueberry, strawberry, peach, apricot, orange marmalade, blackberry, and raspberry  I saw a couple of cardinals that were cute, so they came home with us too. One is on the tree in the corner of the dining room and the one perched on top of a snowman's head is on the window sill.  If I had known that cardinals were going to be a theme of the small Christmas tree, and ultimately in the dining room decor, I would have saved more of Mom's collection.  At the time though I was just tired of all of her stuff and wanted to be rid of most of it, including the collection of clowns and cardinals.  Ahh...hindsight, right?

That day we also went to Rubbermaid for a few things, then stopped at the cemetery, drove past the house on Barnes Drive, and stopped at Rural King Ohio where they always have a great selection of toys, and on Monday they were all 30% off. 

Another stop at Buehlers, then dinner at Longhorn, and back to Days Inn we went.  I felt really strange on this trip to Wooster.  I felt like I didn't belong there at all.  I had no one to visit--or to want to avoid visiting, if that makes any sense.  I missed my dad, and I kept thinking of him as we drove past Lowe's and the town square and by the library and past the house and at RKO because he liked going to those places.  Most of the thoughts of Mom revolved around how unappreciative she was, or how she always argued about things, or how she thought everyone was her friend when they didn't even remember who she was.  Those thoughts came back as we looked at the Christmas lights.  We took her on a drive around town to look at lights one year because it was hard for her to drive, in the first place, and looking at lights while driving would be impossible for her.  Well, on the 'tour' she kept talking about all of the houses with NO lights and speculating on why (they must be Jewish or there  must have been a death in the family or they were too poor to decorate) and at the end, she asked me what else I wanted to see since she thought I was the one who really wanted to drive all over town and see the lights.  I tried to explain that we were doing it for her, but that was lost on her, of course.  Then there was the last time we were there before Christmas when she exploded at me and Gary and accused us of stealing her food and things out of the little shed and bad-mouthed Dad and started cussing at us.  That was horrible.  Finally when we stopped at Buehlers, I could hear her talk about how all of the clerks really loved her and the ladies who worked at the pharmacy were all her close friends.  As we walked through the store looking for sugar free lemon jello (long story), I saw various candies and treats for the holidays and I could picture Mom still buying all of those, even though it was just her at the house and no one came to see her at the holidays and we would end up throwing most of it away later.  Not a good mindset for the visit to Wooster.

Leaving there was a good thing for me.  We had breakfast at Farmer Boy, a local favorite of ours, then headed to the outlet mall at Lodi to do some shopping.  Eventually we arrived at Greta and Kent's condo to deliver the cabinet.

I have no desire to return to Wooster.  I will check and see if there is online ordering from Smuckers for the future.  I really don't need to visit the graves either.  Mom and Dad's bodies are there but that is it.  I stood there for maybe 3 minutes, then I was ready to leave.  I stared at the tombstone and the graves and felt like I was just there, if you know what I mean.  Maybe because I felt like I needed to be there---but I really didn't.  It was an odd feeling.

I am glad we went.  I am fortunate that Gary supports me in what I want to do, even if he thinks it is a silly idea or not really important.  I guess overall it was not a bad day, but it is not one that I feel I need to repeat anytime soon.

Maybe it would have been different if Brian and Melanie had been home and we could have stopped to visit with then.  Or maybe it would be different if we knew ANYONE else at all in the town.  But we don't.  Ryan and Jen are there, but we didn't want to drop in on them on such short notice (even though he was disappointed we didn't).

It will be a long time before we return.