Diet? Weight Loss Journey? Way of Eating? New Lifestyle?

What happened to the days of high school where I could eat anything I wanted to eat and not gain any weight? 

What happened to the days of wearing size 7 or size 9 in junior sizes and weighing only 117 pounds when I was married?

What happened?

Life.

Changes in metabolism.

A mother-in-law who was a great cook and always had 'farm hand meals' every evening and always invited me to stay.

Lack of exercise.

Age.

Whatever the reason, I sure am not wearing size 9 clothes nor do I weigh 117 pounds now.

Through the last 25-30 years I have tried numerous ways to rid my body of excess weight. 

Will power.  (really didn't work too well)

Diet pills (effective for killing appetite but didn't do too much for my nerves!)

Weight Watchers - once with dedication with Kathy and down to my lowest weight in a long time, Lifetime status, and wearing a size 8 again.  An unsuccessful return, followed by another unsuccessful return, then an online try, then another unsuccessful return.  All of those were interrupted by change in career, conflicts in meeting times, closing of the Winamac site, other activities on Wednesday meeting nights in Monticello. 

Will power on my own  (didn't work before, not working again).

The latest journey is with Lysa Terkeurst's book Made to Crave.  I read it in an OBS with Proverbs 31 several years ago.  WW over 50 FB group started a group to study the book, but only four of us, all from DWLZ, are participating.  I am also going through a 21 Day Challenge with the book through YouVersion.

I think I am to a place where I know, I really know, that I just can't follow my own willy-nilly plan and expect to be successful with this.

I felt so happy when I was at size 8, but happier at size 12.  I could eat food, didn't feel like I was depriving myself, and felt comfortable in my clothes.  A size 12 is my goal.

How to get there?   I really think I need to make this a spiritual journey.  Through all of the Bible studies I have been doing recently, I feel like food is just what I need to nourish my body.  It isn't what I need to feel good about myself. It isn't what I need to celebrate a success or to heal whatever is making me feel bad either emotionally or spiritually.

I need food to nourish my body.  That is all.

Diets don't work.  Like Lysa (Terkeurst, the author of Made to Crave) stated, diets are restrictive.  We can't eat this or should eat that or have to weigh everything or watch carbs or eliminate sweets.  I want to eat a baked potato once in a while, not every day, but occasionally without feeling guilty about it or think of it as forbidden food.  I want to enjoy a piece of chocolate cake for my birthday. On a hot summer day I want to eat an ice cream cone from DQ and not feel bad that I did.

But I don't need to splurge each and every day.  I can eat sensibly, make wise choices, and hopefully see the number on the scale decrease.

I hope this works.  I must find a way to make sensible eating habits my lifestyle.