Refuel

Often I feel like I am running on empty.  Even now, with retirement as the word I would write in the "Place of Employment" line on any type of form.

Why is that?  Is it because I am trying to do too much.  Possibly.

Is it because I haven't found my routine yet?  Some would say there is no routine in retirement.  That is part of the definition, right?  Retirement = lack of routine

But I am one who needs a place, a purpose, a routine of some kind. 

After two 'running on little sleep' days, especially yesterday when the Fitbit showed just 3 hours and 42 minutes of sleep the night before, I slept hard last night.  I didn't awaken at all in the night and finally felt the need to go downstairs to the bathroom around 6 a.m.  For me that was an accomplishment in itself since my eyes usually saw a time around 2-3 a.m. for that nightly trip, then I couldn't return to sleep very quickly, if at all.

Now it is nearly 7:00 a.m.  It is still dark.  There have been lows grumbles of thunder.  The sidewalk is wet.  The weather.com app shows 'Light Rain' for Winamac.  I am sitting in the recliner, checking my morning devotions email.

What do I find?  Just what I need....of course.  A message from Proverbs 31 ministries.  A couple of weeks ago Greta, Hilary, and I attended the Belong Conference in Columbus and I was very disappointed, especially after the conversation with one of the reps the next week.  But I do find just what I need for spiritual growth and encouragement from Proverbs 31.

A new Online Bible Study began this week focused on the book Uninvited by Lysa Terkeurst.  The Facebook group that I was a part of during the last study has re-formed and we are already deep into the first chapters.  But even more important is the daily devotions, which I have been receiving for months but I read only sporadically.  Today something led me to check my email first, then click on the daily devotion.

The title?  "When You're Running on Empty."  Katie McCown's message today was just what I needed to hear.  Especially relevant to me was her story about waking at 2 a.m. and using that time for God.  Why don't I do that?  Maybe it is God's way of carving out a time just for me to communicate with him, relax, and rest easy for the remainder of the night.

So often I feel empty, and it isn't because of Gary or the girls or the kiddos.  It isn't because I have nothing to do, because our calendar is busy.  It is because I haven't been starting my day with God, spending time with God during the day, or using the time in the middle of the night as the perfect time to refuel my spirit.

Filling my spiritual tank must be my #1 priority.  Starting today....

Proverbs 31 Ministries <devotions=proverbs31.org@mail151.atl21.rsgsv.net>; on behalf of; Proverbs 31 Ministries <devotions@proverbs31.org>